My boyfriedn and i love each other toomuch.We had a 7 months old child together but we are not yet married and havent agree on when are we going to get married yet.The time my baby was two weeks his family come to my family and said that they want to marry me as soon as possible.I was so surprised because i havent agree with him yet, and when i ask him about this he said he knows nothing.Last week they went to my family agian same story, i am so angry with him because he dont want to tell me what exactly is going on.I think hi sfamily is taking decisions for him.We are both working and live far from home.Is his family going to marry me for him, but we will do it when it i sthe right timebut what if they pay lobola for him?.Please help
2007-10-11 01:33:24 · 11 answers · asked by mmmmmmmmmm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi,if you do not want to get married then tell your parents you will decide when your ready.Not his parents.Good Luck
2007-10-15 01:37:59 · answer #1 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you already live together like a married couple and have already started a family, what difference do some papers and a ceremony make for you?? I think you and your family should be honoured the way your in laws are trying to do the best in their souls and cultures, Can you imagine how hard it would be if they were against you two getting married? They seem like nice people, not only caring for their son but see you also as a daughter and proud mother of their grandchild. They just want to see the day you two get married,- which i have to say it;s many mother's dream-. If its a question of money you are not married yet, just tell them the reason.
I think though the moment you chose to have his child you immediately agreed on being married and live together. I can't believe you took such a big decision as the parenthood and you don't really know if you want to get married to the father of your baby.
2007-10-11 08:43:37 · answer #2 · answered by constantina B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In most cultures you should marry before you have kids. Maybe that's how the parents feel. I know when I first got pregnant my dad asked me if the guy was going to marry me, but we still have not married yet and our child is 11 months old. Still my dad stays on our case about gettting married and tells me I am a **** for not marrying and having a child.( From a mexican's stand view)
2007-10-11 08:39:52 · answer #3 · answered by Que Chido 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You both need to go together to his and tell his family to back off. Is your family supportive of your relationship? If so you need to talk to the and have them let his parents know that the 2 of you will marry when you are ready. It sounds like it must be his culture or something. In the US we don't have that, our parents may try and butt in at times but our decision is what is the final say not our parents say on our lives. You need to let him know when you decide to marry him it will be to him not his family and that they are making you feel pressured into something you are not ready for. Good luck, best wishes.
2007-10-11 08:45:47 · answer #4 · answered by Gladys C 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you are not ready for marriage so don't listen to the others about this, even your boyfriend. Being married doesn't change a thing regarding your child. Just be brave and tell anyone the busy bodies to mind their own business and that it is your choice to get married or not and I'm reading that you are not.
2007-10-11 08:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by katobow 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
please help
listen to me,,, who was helping when you were on your back, getting pregnant and having an illgitimate child....?
His Family has every right to interfere..
what do you mean " you havnt agree with him yet " what to marry ?????? dont be riiiidiculous, wont agree to marry,
but its ok to have bastardo?
wtf
get a grip and do the right thing
get married and build a solid foundation for the life you brought into the world....
dumbass, his family has to make decision for him , as apparently he is too stupid to make right choices,.
Next I know I have to pay for another welfare family from my check.,,
Do you both have a decent job, how a bout a college degree?
have you applied for welfare?
I bet the answers are
NO job
No college
Yes welfare
makes me wanna vomit
go have another baby why dontcha....
2007-10-11 08:40:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
What country are you in? It doesn't sound like the USA. In that case, I would guess you should abide by the customs of your country, but if you are in a free country like the USA then you need to assert yourself. Speak up. YOu don't want to find yourself in a bad situation either way that is not your own choice.
Good luck.
2007-10-11 08:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by signoradiana 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yo need to talk more oepnly about everything without feeling of fear to ruin your relation ship. I think your bf like to get this descision but since he sees you are not ready or have fear or doubt what soever he afraid to confront with you and express himself.
2007-10-15 08:04:33 · answer #8 · answered by nili 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
not to worry
your bf want to marry with you then y ru sayimg no.go and marry
good luck
2007-10-11 08:37:46 · answer #9 · answered by MAUSAM G 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
your question has too many errors to answer.good day.
2007-10-11 08:36:34 · answer #10 · answered by berlytea 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋