I am married (8yrs)with 2 kids under 2 1/2 yrs. I am a stay @ home mom and responsible for everything in the house (cooking, cleaning, etc). My husband is a great provider and very successful. My prob is when I worked before I always had some me time (I'm an introvert too) even if it was just my lunch break. Now I'm 24/7. I even sleep in a sep part of the house so he isn't disturbed if a child wakes up. He has never helped at night even when a child has a stomach virus. I can't stress enough we work separetly (he certainly perfers it that way). I have decided I need 2 hours a week to get out. His mom comes for a visit every Sat.and I decided that was the best time b/c he doesn't want to be left alone with the kids. He doesn't really like his mom so he is mad not only b/c football games are on but he has to be w/ his mom without a buffer (me). No other times are good for him either. I'm resentful of him now and it is just getting worse. He still goes to lunch, gym, etc.
2007-10-10 23:03:54 · 20 answers · asked by ADC 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's being selfish, absolutely. Young children are hard work & whilst your job is home maker, it is a difficult one. He is being weak and taking you for granted, and if he won't help or compromise, just tell him what you are going to do - don't ask permission. All stay at home mums need a break now and then, it sounds like your dealing with 3 kids not 2 & the one person you should be able to depend on is letting you down. He's spoilt & you have to stand up for yourself right now or he is just going to get worse.
2007-10-10 23:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by tedrfandthedog 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is a selfish human being. I work full time and go to school, go to the gym and all the same things, and my wife is also a stay at home mother, and I still find time to be with my kids alone so she can have time to herself. I also get up in the middle of the night to help her out if the kids are sick, or crying and stuff like that.
Tell him that you need to take a break from time to time. tell him that 1 day per week will not kill him, and take a whole day.
force this issue, because it will only get worse as time passes.
let HIM take care of the kids, not his parents, not your parents. this will teach him to be a father, not just a good provider....
2007-10-10 23:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by SWT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is just plain selfish. He married you he got you pregnant so he should share his part in the life you created together. You need some time to yourself away from him. from the house and from the kids.
Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him he has his life away from the house and now you feel it only fair that you have yours. 2 hours a week is not enough time for you. Why don't you look for a part-time job or take up a hobby that will involve you being away from home for a few hours a week.
2007-10-10 23:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is either an odd joke, or the silliest excuse for a marriage I've ever heard of. On the off chance you are actually speaking of a real situation, I can only say that whatever works is fine, cuz you two are so far off average as to be beyond the ideas and standards that the rest of married couples deal with. Good luck, you need it.
2007-10-11 00:09:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears to me that your situation comes from a lifestyle of the rich and famous sort of speak.
I know some attorney's here in Columbus that have wives who do similar and yes they get frustrated because their husbands are working all the time on cases and have little time for them and when they do get quality time, he normally catches up on his own projects or whatever leaving the wife out of it, but she's okay to get in bed with...kind of a lost cause in a sense.
There is no ritual in marriage as for the houswife nor the provider.
If he loves you dearly enough to spend quality time with you when he has it then there would be no problems like yours and he should also share the responsibility with you conering his children.
Some men just have their way or no way, but compromise is in calling here.
When you let a crisis continue as it has been it gets harder to change his ways, because he now becomes accustomed to the way things are now and doesn't want change.
2007-10-10 23:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband should be the provider, and the female partner the housekeeper, but this guy is pushing his luck a little too far, you should not have to sleep in a seperate room, you are either married or in a relationship, act like it, if you getting up disturbs him so be it, he can get up as well, or get up instead of you, of course you need some time to yourself, my wife raised the kids, cooked washed, all housework, plus worked on top of that, while married we did have a good relationship for about 8 to 10 years, I dd not control her she did not control me, you just have to go and act like a husband and wife, before it is too late
2007-10-10 23:15:34 · answer #6 · answered by please ask m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try going to the Library and getting the book Karma Sutra. Or ask him how he feels about watching a dirty movie together. And I'm talking about soft porn, not the crazy stuff. There are all kinds of wild things you two can do, be creative, and be creative together. Make sure the both of you are on the same page. Good Luck. p.s. I've been married for two years and you are still going to find that your sex life will become a bit humdrum.
2016-05-21 04:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a real jerk.A real father takes responsibilities and splits the time with the mother to care for the kids.He should except that you need some me time and be understanding and not so shallow and insensitive to this.Since you are with the kids 24/7 you not only deserve it you need it.So tell the guy to stand up and be a man and father to his kids.Their is no real good reason for what he does.I mean I have on so many different occasions done this and I enjoy spending time with my son since I work.I take him and do things with him like a father should do.
2007-10-10 23:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your husband. Thrash things out! You should make your husband realize that you are also human and you need some time out. Also, it takes two hands to clap and your husband also had a role to play in the conception of these children, so it is only natural that he helps. Don't let him make you do the entire housework and look after the kids. Instead, show him how it can be really gratifying to look after one's children. Make him realize that he would not like his kids relationship with him to be like the one he shares with his mother. Best of luck.
2007-10-10 23:29:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a married man with a stay @ home mom also....I have 3 kids under 4.....lots of work!!!!!! I also work full time overnights and I tell ya it takes a special women to take care of my rugrats.....They dont sleep well, they never eat what we make them, dont listen...yada yada ya....very frustrating! I dont know how she does it but boy does she ever love our kids (i do too) I could not of chose a better mate! I tell her that all the time...I know she gets overwhelmed, but I assure her that she is a great mom and a wonderful wife and a terrific friend! Being a parent is TOUGH with toddlers......wow omg !!! No time is yours anymore.....day and night is kid time!
Good job though on staying focused and raising your children! Even he does'nt tell you your doing a good job, us as a society say you are !!
2007-10-10 23:17:02 · answer #10 · answered by jthansen2275 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋