I think I am jealous of my husband?

Question

He will have TWO degrees before the year is over and I have none, I have been a stay at home mum for 2 years and I do want to be because I want to raise my kids myself but at the same time it would be nice to get out and use my brain more and be in different surroundings with other kinds of people to talk to (my friends are mostly mothers too) I kind of resent him sometimes even though he is a great guy but I feel annoyed and don't want to do housework unless he is at home helping me with it. It annoys me when people say often "you aren't out there earning money so you should do all the housework and let your husband relax" I earn money too! I made my own darn business to get extra money because last year he decided to take time off work without telling me, I am STILL making money and raising our daughter full time, why should I be responsible for majority of domestic duties and be so grateful to him when he is out there working having a good time

It's not like he doesn't enjoy being an engineer, he loves working things out. And he rarely says anything about my lack of doing housework, I just have this hang up about doing it, I feel as though I am putting myself down to be doing it and admitting that he is smarter than me, that he goes to work and is so important and I stay at home and clean his skid marks off the toilet! None of this is even his fault it's what other people say, the way they speak as if he is God's gift and I am so lucky to have him and need to appreciate him. What is wrong with me?

Yeah I know it isn't his fault he has done nothing wrong, and I do love him and I do appreciate him and I am very proud of him.

Answer 1

Nothing is wrong with you. You are not actually jealous of your husband, you are merely longing for some recognition for your achievements and worth. You wish to be mentally stimulated and not turn into a vegetable. Nothing wrong with this at all. Remember that being "smart" has nothing to do with earned degrees.

Answer 2

Time to get some birth control and get your children into daycare so that you can pursue your dreams too. Personally, I would wait until my children were at least 3 and in preschool, but if you feel that strongly, you may need to do it sooner.

You could start by taking some night courses when he is home. That would at least give you some sort of a headstart toward your future career. Computer courses are good too, but you would not have the social interaction that, I get the impression, is very important to you.

Good Luck. If you and your hubby love each other, you will find a way to work this out. Discuss your feelings with him. He probably does not realize how unhappy you are. They can't read minds, you know.

By the way, when others say those things to you, tell them that when they start paying your bills they can tell you what to do, until then it is yours and your husband's business.

Answer 3

I think your problem is so common among young mums, who stay at home, doing all house work, look after a baby, and sometimes wish to do things their husbands do... but at the same time, you should understand that there is always so-called routine in everyone's life - when you have to do things even if you really don't want to.
First of all house work is that common thing, that should be definitely divided between husband and wife. It is very difficult for a female to carry on with all that stuff. Some part should be left for husband. He should understand and care about his wife.
As for your education, so you can go for some distant course, online course, you will get your degree and knowledge. And that's great to combine several things, like staying with your kid and at the same time do something useful for yourself.

Don't be jealous of your husband and everything he has or 'enjoys'. I'm sure, if you ask him, he might be dreaming of staying at home with daughter and give her more time. In truth, he has to work to make money for the family. He has to get the degree, to get a good job. Let him build his life. Concentrate of your child, there are so many things to do with your daughter and that would be the greatest gift to see your child becoming clever with each and every day. This is the treasure of life. Value what you have for today, and tomorrow you will get more!

Best of all to you!
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Answer 4

Well why don't you check online for classes and earn you a degree as well? You can do this in your spare time. You decided to be an at home mother, somebody has to go out there and bring home the bacon. Sounds to me that you are getting bored. how young are your children? Maybe you could schedule play dates or go out to local children workshops and meet other people. You don't have to stay couped up in the house all the time. I understand how you feel though. The same things that I am telling you about I have tried. Your husband is a good man you have nothing to complain about, honey.

Answer 5

So we meet again, is this what I have to look forward to if I don't start studying while my hubby is studying for his degree .

I know how you feel , you want to be at home with your child because you love her and think it's best for her I feel the same way too as I am in the same situation. I actually feel incredibly confused at the moment as I want to do something for myself but don't want to just dump my child in daycare so I can pursue my own thing.

I think ultimately what we stay at home mums need is to just be patient, our day will come and just enjoy the situation we are in or we will surely go crazy,!

Being a domestic goddess does not appeal to me either, could think of a million and one things to do aside from cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the house.

Answer 6

My question for you is have you told HIM how you feel about all of this? He enjoys using his mind and seeing the results of it. I am sure he will understand if you want this too.

My advice, find a class at a local community college. Maybe something that is like, 1 night a week (for starters). That way it's not a HUGE change at first, but will get you out of the house and give you a chance to strut your mental stuff as well! :)

Answer 7

It is time to fnd an outlet that stimulates your brain! Volunteer, take a class or get a part time job but do something before the resentments take over your positive feelings for your hubby! Your children will survive and get interaction with other adults. Do it now!

Answer 8

factors to think about for the husband ....a million)How recommend of me to suspect my spouse and employ a detective to chase her strikes. that shows no faith and outright suspicion. comprehend that malicious techniques needs an overall cleansing the middle.. 2)common delights neglected by using me which could have cemented our marriage strongly has been neglected. 3 ) experience sorry for all crooked techniques confess and exhibit regret out of your spouse. 4) remember to have a hearty laughter for all that u have seen and finished. Bye.

Answer 9

Yes honey I think we get the message now.

Answer 10

love him. it's not his fault.