I think my husband is slowly killing me!! What do I do. I love him so much.?

Question

I dont think my husband realizes how selfish he is. I know he loves. We just got married and I moved to Colorado to be with him. I havent been able to get a job we only have 1 car and he needs it all times for his job. (Army) I left my whole world behind for him. He spends all the money before we have a chance to pay bills or buy food. He bought an Xbox360 with his last check then promised me that he wouldnt play D&D anymore (he plays sat. nights) but now he has land partys where he goes to his friends house and plays xbox. He is gone all night on the weekends and I am so loney and stessed out. Its hard to make friends because I am always home and he is always gone. My depression is getting worse to where it hurts. Its hard to get out of bed and I have sharp pains in my gut. I know he sees it but he doesnt know how to deal with it so he just leaves. I love him so much but Im at the point where my heath is more important. What do I do? I try talking but nothng is getting through to him

Some times I feel like his maid. He doesnt clean up after himself and he gets mad when Im sad. He doesnt under stand that my depression wont just go away. He saids he is trying to change but I just dont see it. Some times I yell at him so sad but I feel like there is no other wat to grt through to him. I want this to work but I realling think its killing me inside.

Oh btw I do have a car but he keeps spending all the money and I cant get it fixed. I havent bought any thing for my self other then the things us girls need in 8 months.

Answer 1

You should try some counseling and if he wont' go, there's another sign that you should end the relationship. It's one thing if he doesn't know what to do with you when you're sick like this, it's another if he's not willing to learn how to help you. If he wont' go to counseling with you, tell him that you're moving home with your parents or moving in with a friend so you can get better and unless he fixes his behavior as well, you're gone.

The way you're feeling and his behavior will only get worse if it continues so it's time for some drastic measures before you get seriously sick and desperate.

Answer 2

There are 2 remedies for this. One is your responsibility and other one is your husband's responsibilty.

1. Your responsibility is to find out a new job. Then you wont
be bored anymore. Also you will be more active and you
can get more friends.

2. Your husbands responsibility-Ask him to spend at least 30-
45 minutes per day. At that time only you two should be
there and talk only about good things. No fights, no quarrels
nothing.Only u, ur husband and sweet moments, that's all.
Make it a practice daily.

Iam sure these two points will change your life positively.

ALL THE BEST

Answer 3

You definitely must speak to him about all these! What is his age? He seems to be simply not ready to be a husband if he does things like that. He is still lives in his teenage years.

You are his wife now, you simply should be strong enough to speak out everything you keep inside. It is not good tokeep like that and feel bad. If you won't speak with him, situation might ger even more worser. Be clever and wise! Don't stress yourself with the thoughts, just let him know whavever you think.

You love him and may be you are scared to tell things that can turn him away from you, but believe me when two people create a family, there should not be any thing to misunderstand.

Take an action!
Best of all to you!
*

Answer 4

this is what i yhink u should do :
talk 2 him not angry... serious, and u tell him that your marriage is no joke tell him everything u wrote that u left ur world b-hind 4 him and that he treats u like his maid,that he is making u miserable but that u love him tough
and dont leave until u work things out if he doesnt change then keep in mind that some men never change and as much as it hurts u will have 2 leave him but thats only if he doesnt accept 2 work things out
remember u cant sacrifice ur hapiness and ur life 4 him
if he doesnt understand then play his game do what he does 2 see if he gets it..............
also u can get into a yoga class or something u really enjoy doing and that can keep u relaxed

i hope this helps...........good luck!!!!!!

Answer 5

girlie! set your boundaries now! you are the wife you you have needs! I have a husband who sounds quite a bit like yours and I have not just left everything I loved once, I've moved 8 times already and we've only been married for 2 years. I'm getting ready to make another big move and I'm scared to death! Your husband wether he says it or not wants you to tell him no. don't let him go to his friends house on weekends or if you decide to let him do that at least make him set aside at least a day that you guys do things together just you two. Its so hard and I feel ya hon just hang in there things can only go down so far before they have to go back up....I tell myself that everyday

Answer 6

He is obviously not mature enough to be married. I would suggest that you have your family send you some money to go back home, before you end up pregnant and stuck with this immature man. How would you support a child when he can't even pay the bills or buy food now??

Answer 7

When it starts to affect your health and sanity, its time for drastic action. Maybe if you moved out for a while, with family or friends and tell him you'll move back in after counselling . . . for the two of you, he may listen. If not, get independent by getting a job and carrying on with your own life. If its meant to be, your paths will connect up later on.

Answer 8

I'm in the Army and I will tell you to go to marriage counseling. if he doesn't want to go, go talk to his 1st SGT. Or try to get a loan and get yourself a little car and a job. Put some money aside in your own private account. Don't let him know about it.

Answer 9

Any decent human treats their dog better than this. I suppose that you should either get divorced, or ask hubby to put you in a boarding kennel. At least there, you'd be able to play with dogs, and they would appreciate you petting them. They would wag their tails and lick you. They sound more human than your husband. Your life, your choice.

Answer 10

He sounds like a jerk.. dont make excuses for him.. he needs a wake up call.. maybe enforce couples therapy or get the hell out of that state where you know nobody for a while and see how you feel.. if you want to continue or not..