Is it possible to neglect yourself and is it fair to other people that care about you?

Question

Four years ago I lost a good job and my fiance left me because she said she couldnt watch me treat myself the way that I do. she said that I was my own worst enemy.so I moved back home to maine near my family but I have pretty much isolated myself only leaving the house for therepy two to three times a week and other than that only if my cousin would practicly force me to hang out with him and his wife because he says I need to get out of the house. I havent maintained any type of a relationship with anyone includeing my son and close friends.I dont work or do anything Because I hate life and dont really want to be around people. Im not even like myself anymore. I used to be meticulous about my appearence now I look and feel terrible.

Answer 1

Losing a good job is a great stress, especially if a person really likes it. You've experienced double stress, first when you lost the job, second when your fiance left you. That, of course, effected your way of thinking, lifestyle and everything that connected to your personal life.

Hating yourself, but what for? It won't help you and won't give you anything, except punish you more, by adding more difficulties and misunderstandings.

I see, how clearly you wrote that you don't like yourself - that means you still care and there is still something that may help you to renew yourself. It would be sad if you would not even ask this question.

You, definitely, should start everything once again. Find a good job, the job you will care about and love. But before searching for a job, you should be well prepared mentally. Try not to concentrate on your past, just let it go. Whatever had happened, you can't change now, you can't turn time back, it's out of your hands. But what is in your hands, is you. You are the person who will build the future.

Be strong, all your problems can be solved when you will wish to start your life anew. Don't wait, just do it.

I wish you everything the best!
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Answer 2

I will pray for you, because I have lupus and disabled at that with many other problems. Your cousin is your guardian angel. The best thing to do is just go to the computer and type just how you feel, and then read daily inspirations and try to give it your best shot. I hurt so much from pain, until I cry. I ask God to pls help me get well. I need prayers and so do you, and I will be praying for you. Hang in there. It will get better. My youngest son that is 27 has not talked to me going on six yrs. and I have no clue what I have done wrong. So the best thing we can do is turn this over to God. I know you hurt, but as time goes on, you will suceed in life. I have faith in you. You sound like you are well educated and smart, so focus in my dear. God Bless You Always, bgdizzyjlynn

Answer 3

You need to force yourself to get up in the morning and start a new day. You know you don't want to live alone and unhappy, so get up and change it! There are a lot of people who are going through the same thing as you are, and some are worse, but you are the only one who can change your life. You obviously don't want to live like this, and it's easy if you think about it. Don't think about the ifs and the who's thinking this or that, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you and only you have the control to change your life. Make tomorrow the new start of your new outlook on life. Life is too short.

You need to talk to your son, he needs his dad. You are needed by your friends and family, whether they tell you or not.

Tomorrow, get up, put your favorite (up beat) song and blast it! Go for a walk, or a drive and just say hello to random people. It works for me!

Answer 4

Yes, it is possible and it sounds like it has affected your relationships. I am glad that you are going to therapy but honestly if you are just staying home all the time and not doing much else you may need medication to help you get more control over the situation. If you are already on medication, maybe you should return to the doctor who prescribed it and get it increased or changed. Neglecting your personal appearance is definitely a symptom I have observed in people I knew who suffered deeply from depression. I wish you all the best in your future.

Answer 5

Seriously, there is no secret code about women. If you want respect, you have to demand respect in your life. If you let these girls use you, then they will, and even more so. Look, dating is like weeding a garden. You have to pull the weeds (the girls that don't work out or don't want to go out again etc.) until you find what you are looking for. A long the way, we (men and woman) encounter joys and pains, heartache sometimes. But you learn from each experience. It's not all women. You just have to find the right one. Just blow off those ditsy girls and keep going.

Answer 6

Yes IT IS possible to neglect yourself and its not a matter of whats fair to others. This is about you. But when you neglect yourself, the people around you get that negative vibe and may experience the moods that you do just by being around you. If the people you are around truly care about you, they will just be there for you no matter what you're going through. But hang in there. We all go through some bad times. You just have to want to start caring about yourself though, and stop neglecting YOU!!

Answer 7

Of course you know that it is possible to neglect yourself because that is exactly what you are doing. No it is not fair to your loved ones. I know you are in pain, but it is also painful for them to watch helplessly as you destroy yourself through neglect. I'm glad that you are seeking therapy, however I urge you to see a doctor who can prescribe ant-depressants for you. More important than exploring your feelings right now is feeling better. Four years is too long a time to be depressed

Answer 8

You do need to change,
you need to get out of the house
you need to see your son,
stop thinking of yourself and think of him instead.
We all hate life at times, but find stuff you like doing and do it.
Why did you lose you job?

Answer 9

MAN, GET UP AND WALK!!! Don't think, feel and act like a sissy.. Put your mind to it that you are GOING TO CHANGE, and bloody hell, just do it!!

If I am your closest friend, I will give you a you a bloody tight slap to get you out of your irritating self pity

Answer 10

YES IT IS WHAT MOST PEOPLE DO. THE HARDEST LESSON I EVER LEARNED , WAS LOVING MY SELF!! YOU NEED TO LOVE YOUR SELF, IN ORDER TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, TRY HARD !! TO GET YOUR SELF BACK ON TRACK!! YOUR SON NEEDS TO SEE YOU HAPPY, CHILDREN LEARN FROM WHAT THEY SEE. SHOW HIM YOUR STRENGH, I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME!! IT TOOK STRENGH TO WRITE YOUR QUESTION. BEST WISHES!!