after 7 years of marriage, because there is no communication in the relationship, and the marriage is on the rocks, and one of them still thinks they love the other, but the other person is no longer in love, is there any chance if they got back together that they will stay together? The relationship is very one-sided, but they are both willing to give it one more try. Do people actually fall back in love again? I thought once the love is gone, its gone for good!
By the way, there was no communication while they were separated. This doesn't sound like the marriage has potential to get back off the ground. What are your thoughts?
2007-10-10 19:18:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, "Daniel S", I am not refering to myself. . .I have been with the same person for 23 years. . . married 15!!
2007-10-10 19:28:25 · update #1
The key to making this work is to basically "rewind" everything back to how it was in the beginning. Over this 7 years, most likely your behaviors have changed. Things you both used to do for eachother have faded away.
The reason this happens is because in the beginning everything about them is new and exciting. Over time, those things become routine and it seems there is nothing new to discover. I assure you, this is NOT true!
My advice, make a concious effort to learn new things about eachother. Bring back the cute little things that were there in the beginning. Set up the "boundries" that existed at first, meaning (and I know this may sound funny) shut and lock the door when using the restroom. Don't belch or other such things around them. All in all, just treat eachother like you would if you were first trying to get them!
I know it is work, but everything worth having is.
2007-10-10 19:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by ME 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each person has to want to try to make it work. It requires examining why they fell in love and got married to begin with.
Sometimes this works out well, kindling those old forgotten feelings and growing back or beyond where they were at start.
Other times it puts a spotlight on how the marriage was based in bad faith or misperceptions of one another.
Many times, one partner has to accept that it won't work and should if that is how they feel. and the other party has already moved on emotionally anyway.
Love can come back, and if there are children to be considered, there should be every effort to keep the marriage together, at least until the kids are mature and out of the picture. Use them as an excuse to stay together for now.
Finding reasons to stay is harder than looking for reasons not to break up.
From one household to two, two rents two lightbills, two cable.
Going from a couple to a single, sounds fun until you get there.
Court
Lawyers Fees
Division of property, which points out how much you owe, how little or too much you own, and all the work of working it out.
It seems that they have talked about getting back, but they really should seek help from their pastor, a counselor or a marital attorney. or all three. This can scare you back together.
2007-10-10 19:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by halfwittcg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is a major necessity for a good marriage. Things can go very wrong when assumptions are made. If both can recognise they need to communicate more, and make a better effort to describe what they are feeling to each other, then you should be able to understand each other better.
You might need more help to start talking to one another, so consider seeking counselling. It's hard to walk into that office together the first time without feeling anxious or humiliated, but it can be a useful stepping stone by getting an outside perspective.
I wish you all the best.
2007-10-10 19:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Puss in Boots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....it's a hard situation but if one person have the capactity to tell other that how much they have sacrificed to get each other if it is a love marrige which is considered to find a person urself in some cultures then he or she must think abt that first and talk abt that to the person that what they both had done for each other how much care they gave everything this is not all but it's one step to regain ur love also everyhone's feelings are not same if we want a relation to more on than we have to coparate with that person try to understand each other all that must help.
2007-10-10 19:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always possible to fall in love for a second time. But this sounds like one person is going into the relationship to make the other happy. If there is no love going back into the relationship it most likely won't work. Also if they couldn't communicate during the marriage and separation, they won't when they get back together.
2007-10-10 19:22:28 · answer #5 · answered by Angel R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds so very familiar to me. If a couple isn't on the same 'page', it won't work. Both have to have the same goals and progressive direction on where the marriage is going to go. If it seems one sided, the other side has to complement it, not contradict it. Each of them absolutely has to feel, express and act like you are each others' most important person in life. If that can't be reached, well, then. Some people insist that marriage is not hard; but it is (marriage) as hard as you each other think it is. It can be easy, but it takes work from 'both' sides (period).
2007-10-10 20:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually once it's over for one person it's over. I've been there and done that my self.
I was married for 13 years, and when I fell out of love with my husband there wasn't any thing that could change that for me. We tried to get back together but it didn't work, the only thing that I got out of it was the fact that I had tried and it didn't work.
Life moves on and so did I. God bless you, I hope all works out well for you no matter what you do. Best of luck!
2007-10-10 19:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by Cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in a relationship communication is very important or else it won't work and there should also be mutual understanding. You know its just like a business where you always have too innovate to flourish or else you get bored. marriage is a bit the same thing, hope you understand what i mean.
2007-10-10 19:29:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well quit talking about yourself, rather than refer to other people and it sounds like it's best for a divorce. Than comes cheating and lying. If it is one sided a relationship goes both ways. 50/50.
2007-10-10 19:21:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar boat. I know I love her, but she doesn't love me. Heart crushing. I am worried about her and her lifestyle, but I can only do so much. And yes it breaks my heart. I feel for you. Do not give up on her if you can, I would bet she needs you, just a marter, but who am I to say. Good luck Bud!
2007-10-10 19:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋