I don't know much about the internet but I do know that I get a lot of things I never requested. Perhaps she did go on one site and the others bought her name off the first one - like the advertisers do. Kudos to you for being on top of this! Twelve is much too young to be left alone on the computer. I would suggest the computer be put in a rm that you frequently are in - that way, when she is allowed on it you can easily see what she is doing. I think I would be equally upset that she is obviously lying about the picture under her bed. Gee, do you have ghosts who come in at night and put things under her bed? They think we were born yesterday! I would certainly dish out punishment for lying. I used: no outside activities, school dances, no telephone, limited television, etc.Believe me from 14 to 17 I would have faxed my daughter to the moon too. But now, she is grown, and we have a wonderful relationship. I respect her enough to some times ask for her advise. So, cheer up, this too shall pass (and keep some Loriel on hand for all the grey hair).Good luck and hold your ground!
2007-10-10 19:06:54
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answer #1
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answered by Anne 3
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I had that problem with my daughter once. I received the same response, 'I didn't do anything'. I grounded her from the computer for a long while, and when she was allowed back on I made sure I monitored her activities. If she has to sign up for a site I have her username and password. That includes her email, gaming sites, or any other she might subscribe to. She is seventeen now and I still have the information, I don't use it because she gives me no reason to anymore. But she did have to earn my trust again on her using the net. Just monitor her activities when she is not grounded anymore and give her the best guidance you can. Good luck.
2007-10-10 18:58:46
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answer #2
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answered by dsrtrat 3
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Very interesting question. She probably is anticipating a sexual relationship. Talk openly to her about it, and although that never works, don't question or shout at her, and you never know, you may just get your answer through that. Nobody can tell you what to do about it but her, most likely through a communication other than talking. You know your daughter better than us, so just try and piece together the puzzle. Look at the big picture of why she would be doing this. If you can't get an explanation.. don't fret on why she's doing it, but figure out how to set her straight. All kids are curious about it. They learned about it in school, and they see it on tv. Tell her if she thinks (her idol) looks at that stuff. Explain to her how nobody great ever did that because it is just gross and tell her it isn't going to do her any good but mess up her head.. You're a parent, just react accordingly to her. Whatever you do, don't get angry or she'll know that by opening up to you, you will get angry so she won't tell you any more. Also, mention to her that it messes up her computer on most sites because they have viruses, and viruses go to all the computers and mess up all the computers in the house and that if she gets a virus on the computer that you'll know because viruses don't just appear
P.S. little devil parent tip >=) lol
walk in when she shuts the door while on the computer to catch her off guard.. (if it is in her room if it is not in her room how could she be looking at that stuff)
2007-10-10 18:58:36
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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porn & being curious are a natural part of life. it's gonna happen weither u like it or not. something that may keep her off internet sites is reminding her that most of them have viruses that will attack her comp. also it might not be her on the comp with porn sites? are there other adults in the home? it could be them. beware of 'freak outs' concerning sex from your part it could give her complexes. best to make a relaxed open ended talk about the subject. have you given her the sex talk? if so how really informative was it? was it bottom line cuz it made you both uncomfortable or was it open & honest? remember that the more comfortable & the more open & honest you are the more she will return the favor. do you really want a teenager who doesn't talk to you & learns on her own the hard way or do you want a teenager who comes to you first.
best advice...don't freak out! & good luck teenagers are down right mean :)
2007-10-10 19:00:39
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answer #4
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answered by dkchick123 2
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get a key stroke logger it is a program that installls on the computer that logs every key typed, you can download them for free. also put a password on your computer so you know exactley when she is online, and for how long because you will have to type the pass in for her.
If you are running XP
CLick on your start menu, click on user accounts it will open up a box that will have all your user accounts listed go into them all and put them under password protection.
Click on an account you wish to change. second option is create a password if you already have one and she knows the password click on change password.
I think most of all you need to talk to your daughter she is obviously searching for information or pictures for a reason and she is trying to learn more about it on her own because she feels she cant trust you. I will also say if she ever finds out about the keystroke logger she would deffinetly not trust you for a while either. Its kinda funny since your doing it because you dont trust her. good luck!
2007-10-10 19:06:27
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Well, I recommend Beatles songs since they don't curse or talk about anything bad really.....and I'm 13 and I currently love this song by them: [look up on youtube because Yahoo! won't let me post links] its called Some Other Guy-The Beatles they have many other songs =] If you want a more pop feel to it, try their early songs like Help! or She Loves You or Love Me Do or A Hard Day's Night. and I say this from experience me bein recently a 12 year old =]
2016-05-21 03:39:36
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answer #6
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answered by maegan 3
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A child at that age is very vulnerable, and at the same time thye have a mind of their own. It is a difficult task to teach them, as you would need to be tactful in dealing with them without being overly emotional about it. Yes I know it is hard, however this is the only option you have.
You need to win her trust, and at the same token, she needs to earn your trust as well. Educate her moral values, don't just teach them the rights and wrong stuff. However do tell and teach them the reasons why it is wrong or right. Only when they themselves are equiped with such information that they can make a correct choice in life.
Even though occassionally theu may be out of line, perhaps you should not jump and reprimand her, however talk to her why she did that. Perhaps she may have a very innocent of doing it. Very often it could be curiosity, however it should be that this just one time and not frequent occurences..
take care..
2007-10-10 22:10:41
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answer #7
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answered by trymejames 4
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Have you had 'the talk' with her yet about sex? It might be time to revisit that topic. If the porn picture is from another kid, is it possible that she belongs to a group of friends who are sharing this kind of thing? Does your computer have filters to keep out porn? She is eventually going to have to use the computer and there are ways to lock that stuff out of her sessions. Hire your local geek to show you how. Good luck!
2007-10-10 18:57:39
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answer #8
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answered by kathyw 7
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I think you have done the right thing by banning your daughter from the Internet for a while. I think the next thing to do is to get her some psychological help. She may already be addicted to pornography and it's a long, difficult life ahead of her if she is. I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation and I wish you and your family the best.
2007-10-10 19:00:46
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answer #9
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answered by drshorty 7
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unfortunetly we cannot control the fact that kids are learning more about the opposite sex ealier and earlier each year partly to blame for the schools education on this subject and also peer pressure. What you really need to do is not ignore this but sit down and talk to her about this mention to her that porn is inappropiate but also emphasise your experiences and problems that you had learning about sex yourself if you are uncomfortable about this try to get her to talk to a trusted family frien prefferably a female or a doctor
2007-10-10 18:59:12
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answer #10
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answered by luke 1
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