it is depressing. I think I'm getting somewhere, that I'm really improving and gaining skills, but then someone way younger or with much less experience is about 1000x better than me, and damn it, I just don't feel like trying anymore.
how do you get over this?
2007-10-10 17:54:46 · 10 answers · asked by Alex 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hi Paula, the path to gaining the right answer is asking the right question. Its not "why is this person better than me at this?" but "what is my calling and how do I progress in it?" We are only limited by our passion and thinking. If you say "darnit, Michael Jordan is better than me in basketball might as well give it up." then you're already defeating the purpose of your existence. You are not an accident. You're there sitting where you are right now for a reason. Getting good at what you love doing is not about "i wonder how's my opponent fairing compared to me?" but in ignoring the bumps and bruises along the way. You don't stop when you get hurt, or lose breath, get cut, get sick, if the purpose you're reaching for is really that important - then you surely wouldn't give it up. Dream big Paula, don't dream small dreams.
So keep you eye on the goal. Never dwell on the sides. If you keep focusing on what you want to achieve then you start to notice as days go by, it starts getting closer to you. The fact will always remain that someone will always be better than you - BUT NOT in everything you do. You are therefore better than somebody at something and that also is a fact, and it goes on. You just have to start accepting that. And when you do begin to accept it, thats when you start moving on in your own track.
One of the greatest illustrations of dreaming big, is in the fact that the greatest of trees, started out from the simplest of seeds.
Cheers :)
2007-10-10 18:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by Dragoro 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are realistic and unrealistic expectations. If you expect to be the best in everything in the world, you get over that feeling by recognizing how irrational it is. It is only a feeling of wanting to be the best, it is not a commandment from God!
If you really love to study or do something in your life more than anything else, if you are passionate about it, you probably will discover that it takes enormous effort to perfect whatever it might be.
Let's take writing, as an example. It is not easy to write novels and put out the book of the year! Before you get to that level, you are going to see a lot of other writers better than you, more imaginative, more skillful with language, etc. Do you want to pursue writing to be the best or do you want to pursue it because you love passionately that profession? If it is the latter that you care most, you won't have the former problem and you will probably end up first, one day.
2007-10-10 18:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by DrEvol 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that it isn't a race. It isn't that the smartest person gets the prize and everyone else gets nothing. So what if you're not the most intelligent or skillful person in the world? It doesn't make you useless. You still have skills, and there is plenty of work to go around - we don't live in a society where only the top 1% get jobs. Just think about the things you buy. Not everything is some $1000 item made by a famous designer from the rarest ingredients, but they all have a use to you, right? They all help you in some way. I can't cure cancer and you can't design the Mars spaceship, but that doesn't mean we can't contribute in our own ways. Everything we contribute is worth something, whether it's Nobel Prize-worthy or not, so just make the most of it and you'll know that you're doing your part.
2007-10-10 18:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by The Camel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I noticed that, although I didn't consider myself to be judgmental, I used an awful lot of judgmental words, so I switched to descriptive ones. It changed by whole world. I was not doubt using them on myself also. After that I actually reached, perhaps my deepest depression over feeling worthless for two or three minutes and then I got up and got some coffee. It went that fast. I don't believe in negative thoughts anymore as being very important. We are not important, we are an awareness. What we do and think affects more people than we think. Importance is measured by how many people we have a positive affect on. We have an unhealthy competitive culture. Greed and happiness are antithetical. In Russia they had forced co-operation. Those are opposing forces also. They fell. Like cells in the body, we need to work together. One isn't important, but it has all the wonders of the universe in it and you see that if you study them. check out brucelipton with the w's and the com or my profile. I'll bet you didn't even know penguins drank coffee.
2007-10-10 20:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by hb12 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept it. You have your gifts; they have theirs. But no one can take your place in the lives you touch--it's not about being better than others, it's about being a whole human being. Treat everything as a learning opportunity (even scoldings) and you'll find life much more joyful. And every night, before you go to sleep, say OUT LOUD three things from the day that you are grateful for. This, believe it or not, will help your subconscious turn around a negative self-image to a more grateful, loving, joyful one. Blessings to you.
2007-10-10 18:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by stoneinthestream 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well you could try downward social comparison--for every person who's younger/prettier/smarter than you, there are 5 who are dumber/uglier/less successful. Think about the people who have to take the bus, or if you take the bus, think about the ones who can't even make it to the bus stop because they are disabled. You see my point? I hope this helps. In general--it's healthier to focus on the positive things you DO have, instead of on what others have that you think you don't have.
2007-10-10 18:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by Corozal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone might be better than me but they can never be me. I am the only me alive!
You should not compare yourself with others. You should love what you do and enjoy every moment you've got. Don't you think that the one who seems better than you get busted by others. If you are to compare yourself with others, you'll taste failures and get hurt coz there are always better and worse than you are.
Wake up girl and enjoy your life. Failures are there to make you stronger and better person.
2007-10-10 18:08:54 · answer #7 · answered by Asteria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you're feeling like, "What's the USE?"-huh?? Listen, only ONE of us can ever BE the "best" at anything...-All the REST of us can only TRY our best at things...-It's JUST the way it IS. And the REALITY IS- that's enough. Since everybody ELSE is in the SAME "boat" YOU are- they'll accept you for who you ARE... You just need to Accept YOURSELF for WHO you ARE, & WHAT you can DO- and make the most of THAT. There will be PLENTY of people "out there"- who will like you for JUST the way you ARE... :)
2007-10-10 18:10:04 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what kind of a person you are. You know your strengths and the skills you have. All you have to do is BELIEVE in yourself. Never doubt yourself for you make your own fate.
2007-10-10 18:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just realize im way better than everybody else in every single possible way. (in consoling voice) sorry but guess what.... im better than you too *nods head with concerned affirmation and taps you on your knee*. so go get em tiger!
2007-10-10 18:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by joethemetaldude 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋