isthis possible.. need guys opinions as well?

Question

me and my husband have been married for 3 years and we have a baby (11 months) i lost all the baby fat..even more actually and look pretty nice.. we have had no sex for a longgggggg time..and its been like that since we got married.. i mean long gaps..like 4-5-6 months..before something happening.. IS IT POSSIBLE. that my hubby had too much sex or i should say unattached sex before he met me.. thats the reason it hardly happens.. i am very confused! its like he never never feels like it.. or never wants to make time.. could it be taht he has done too much.. id ont knwo if i am making sense..i am just worried..thanx all

if i ask him.. he might think i am psycho..and might lie too..how do i know ..he can make up something cant he?

Answer 1

If you can't ask your husband and discuss sex with him, then you shouldn't be married. There's a good chance he doesn't think you want it. Or he's tired, or has depression...........it could be a slew of things. But you'll never know if you don't open your mouth and ask.

Answer 2

The biggest misintrepration of men is that they are all sex starved and wanting it 24/7 , I believed this until I met my 2nd husband , his sex drive was 1/4 of my own sex drive and I blamed myself for his lack of interest , but after talking to the mother of his daughter and his ex wife mother of his oldest son I came to realise his sex drive had always been just like this.

He would give sex when I requested / demanded , but only once a week or once every two weeks would he give it to me off his own idea's.

It is NOT medical illness , or lack of testosterone , it is not a physical issue as many here will have you believe and NO he doesnt need viagra , a little bit of goats weed or wyld for men wouldnt go astray , but outside of that when a male has a low sex drive and preffer's cuddling and showing his effection in other ways there is NO way of changing it.

Try and do what I attempted and turn him on physically by making the 1st move but make it clearly understood that while you understand his sex drive is below your's , you will under no circumstances initiate sex every time and if it feel's that you are then he must make more of an effort as being a couple physically take's 2 and explain to him also that when he fails to try and make that connection it doesnt do much for your self esteem , if he is a loving , caring , understanding husband he will totally wake up to it and attempt to fit into your scheduling , but remember when he slacks off because he is just a mere male he will need nudging every few weeks.

Good luck and have fun.

Answer 3

As the others have said, the best thing you can do is ASK him and communicate your desire for sexual intimacy.

If you aren't giving him clear signals, we guys can be quite clueless at times, maybe he thinks you aren't interested in sex.

I would not worry about the "what ifs" about what could have happened in your husband's past. They are only going to stress you out.

If he is uninterested in sex try foreplay, candlelight dinners, or something romantic that will still arouse you but won't force him to go where he doesn't want to.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

join the majority most couples sex activity drops off. Being single and dating is one thing you have so much more time to spend with each other when you get married there is a lot of things that happen that wasn't there before like the kids and money issues and your time in general so it happens to almost all couples but your case is a bit of a long stretch my best guess would be that he is gay there is no such thing as to much sex for a young guy that is not the case ever he is probably gay..

Answer 5

I am assume you and your husband are fairly young, like in your twenties, or at most, early thirties. If your husband is a healthy man, he should have a very high sex drive. Regardless of how much sex one had before, the sex drive does not disappear. It is like hunger. We still get hungry even though we eat everyday. And, even someone who eats too much still gets hungry. Your husband is having problems. Maybe he is having an affair. Maybe he has issues with you having been pregnant or having a baby. He needs to see a medical doctor to get checked out, and more likely, he needs to see a shrink, or maybe both of you need to go. And, don't put it off. If you don't get help now, you will find yourself in divorce court because your husband cannot go forever without having sex, and if it is not with you, be assured it is with someone else.

Answer 6

Yes he could make something up but i still think you should ask him. He might be completely honest. There may be a problem he's been afraid to bring up but if you show that you will be understanding and not be overly sensitive about whatever it is he may tell you. At this point what can it hurt?

Answer 7

I would ask him. I can talk to my husband about anything and he can with me. You have to have an open line of communication. That is not normal not to have sex.No it is not possible that he has already had too much sex. You could also just initiate it yourself and see where it goes. If it goes no where ask him why. Good luck.

Answer 8

It's his duty to give you sex (as it is your duty to give him sex). I don't mean to sound so technical, don't get me wrong... You should both want to, love to, enjoy having sex. But sometimes you should give in, make time. 4 months with no sex!!!??? Oh, hell no! You need to have a serious talk with him. I'd definitely be worried. He might not be having an affair, but something is obviously wrong. The fact that he doesn't want to touch you? The fact that he's never in the mood? C'mon. Maybe he needs to see a doctor.

Answer 9

Does he work in the city? Does he work long hours? Overnight business trips? See where I'm going?? Talk to him.

Answer 10

The gap is very long and there is an issue. I would recommend reading this site:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_goneoffsex.shtml