Broke up w/ bf now im a mess....?

Question

He works alot and is never free to go out with me to trips (other than the reg. dinner/movie or stay at home) he always tells me we'll do something or go somewhere for the weekend and never follows through. We were never able to plan anything in advance altough i suggested it many times b/c of his work schedule. & honestly I was tired. tired of always going out to parties or fam. events by myself b/c he was working. I sent him a txt message last monday saying that i was tired of everything always being about work and that I was done, all he had to say was "whatever" that next sat. (this past sat) was suppossed to be our 3-year anniversary. Up to today I had not heard anything from him no e-mail, txt call nothing. So i sent him a txt asking if he could stop by and pick up something. He said he didnt have the emotional capacity to see me and that was it. I don't know what to do, I love him so much and am so devastated but It just grown old always having compete with work.

Answer 1

well your tiered of having no date but you love him. you broke up with him but tex him to come by and get something? make up your mind. i see why he says he doesnt have the emotional capacity to see you. right here its like im reading a roller coaster. if you get back together have him buy u exspensive gifts to make up for time lost.he shouid have the money if he works that much or plan these events on his free time, days off. -or move on. find someone your more compatable with.

Answer 2

Three years .. that is a long time to just move on without trying to understand exactly whats going on . Get someone you trust
and get him/her to talk to him , your bf will be more comfortable
talking about it to someone other than you , don't get me wrong , he's either hurt or just the reaction when you said "i'm done with that" . so a third person and more when they get in the middle , they should work things out . but you should fully trust them

2- surprise him , find out where he's at and go to him , like kind of dinner time , at night most people get emotional ,
during the day he COULD BE drained emotionally .
i don't know but that's how things are with most people .
once you see him . whatever he says to you , your reply should just be "I Love You" and if things got really
bad and he'd say i don't know or something like that .
give him time , he'll think about it and reconsider it .
there is no doubt that he loves you .

My gf came to me after i had problems with her .
i was saying all sorts of stuff , just criticizing her and what not on and on , she didn't say a word .....then she said : "I Love You"in sad tone ... at that point i thought wow dude i was too harsh , i couldn't say anything anymore , cause
i didn't focus on the main point .... she really loves me .
if she said something to me that angered me , doesn't mean
that she doesn't want me ... that's what i was thinking
and it was absolutely right .

Just try to talk to him , and let him let it out whatever he has to let out . and keep your replies simple and not as questions . then when he's done , tell him that you love him ,

it really should make him feel like wow that was too much
from me towards her , she's not my enemy .

My gf did that , and it works magic , Women are so evil :| lol
jk but yea that's how she got me to kind of regret the critcizing , and also , LEARN To Get Over Stuff ,

i really wish you the best luck . i can't say Oh just move on
, it's not fair , 3 years , at least give it a chance .

Answer 3

He doesn't care about you or he would be more considerate. You fell in love with the good things you saw in him but now you are seeing the way he really is - and the way life will for the rest of your life were the two of you to marry.
think of him as being the most beautiful, most perfect car i the world with everything you ever wanted in the vehicle, and then realize that it is sitting on cinder blocks in the driveway with no tires or engine. It will hurt to forget him and move on but I always believe that for each pain of that type, there is twice as much happiness when the right two people find each other, so you have to move on in order to find that person. Good look to you.

Answer 4

Hi. I'm really sorry for your loss. A 3 year relationship will be hard to shake. But ask yourself this....if you really tried and got him back, would you like what you would have? Or would you just end up regretting him and the fact that he never made you a priority? I think you were in love with the "relationship" and it was a habit and not actually in love with him. Remember that he will not change and if you were looking at him as your future husband it would only get worse. If he wanted to he would have been with you when you felt that it was important. Obviously he doesn't feel that things that are important to you should also be important to him. Yes, it is very important to have a job and be devoted to it, but he also needs to be devoted to your happiness. It will not get better. I feel that you were in love with the relationship and he was in love with the idea of the relationship....one more thing he didn't have to attain to prove his success. You were the "trophy" for him and he took you for granted. You shouldn't feel bad about txting him after the break-up. Most females I know have made that same mistake...sometimes it is hard letting go. But I promise you, if you let go now, adjust to your new life you will be so much happier. If he truly loves you he would never be able to live without you! He should be beating your door down to speak with you. If not, forget him! God bless you.

Answer 5

You were not asking for much! If he is working a lot he could play hooky at least once to show you that what you need id important. I would if my boyfriend just wanted a little extra time with me. I would play the old scratchy voice trick and off to the beach we go. ( Yes I have done this before).

First and for most don't call text or email him. If he does not make an attempt to contact you. Cry in your pillow, hold your head up and keep it moving.

Answer 6

LMAO -Immanuel ... very funny!!!

Seriously, you went off half-****** and now you are dealing with the consequences. Instead of talking it out you vented, right?

I think if you would have told him "It just grown old always having compete with work.", you would have gotten a different response perhaps.

I'd write him a letter ... don't "text" him ... .that is so freaking lame to begin with. Crissakes, if after 3-years in a relationship and someone broke up with me via a text message, I would be so freakin done with him Jesus couldn't convince me to go back to him.

Well write him a letter, tell him how you feel. Apologize all over the place for being stupid, and ask him to meet with you and talk it out. Tell him you were just venting, but that it seems that things have gotten old, you miss being with him, and you feel you are always having to compete with work.

Answer 7

First off, if this guy is not spending time with you as much as he's suppose to & then it seems like he doesn't care, then maybe you need to think about letting him go & finding a guy who cherishes & anticipates every moment he gets to spend with you. Second, you two broke up over something this stupid when you could have talked about it maturely & worked something out. From what you describe, it just sounds like this guy is not as into you as you are in him. If a guy is not putting much effort into your relationship like you are, then he's not worth another minute of your time because no matter how busy a guy's work schedule is.....if he really loves his girl....then he will find time to be with her & make her happy regardless. I think your boyfriend has been making a bunch of excuses.

Answer 8

I think that you should move on, it doesnt seem like you saw him much or spent much quality time together anyway. You also need to be aware though that work schedules arent really something that a person can easily change to suit their personal schedule, you either need to move on as I said above or learn to live with the fact that you wont see him too often.

Answer 9

coming from a guy who works a LOT....I always make time for my wife, no matter how much work I have. People prioritize, and you were oviously not one of his priorities. If he cared about you, he would not have just said "whatever". Also, do you know for sure that he was always "working" when he said he was? My recommendation would be cut him loose and move on, hard as it may be. There's plenty of fish in the sea who would probably treat you with more respect....

Answer 10

i have been married to a guy that worked a lot and my husband now works a lot (military). we had many ruined weekends and calls at 5 am where he have to jump up and leave. i would never break up a relationship because of someones work. i loved my job and if my spouse wanted to leave because of that, it would be easy for me to let go too.