Can homosexuality be a choice?

Question

I am not trying to stir up trouble or be ignorant. I just have a lesbian friend who admits that she made a conscious choice to be a lesbian.

Is there anyone else willing to say that they made a choice to be a homosexual?

*Please be respectful* Thank you in advance.

Answer 1

For the most part...NO.

There are those VERY FEW people who felt abused or disappointed by their heterosexual experiences and for a time say they "choose" to be gay/lesbian...etc.

But it's rare and usually short lived. These people are not speaking of their natural sexual orientation but rather crying out for professional counseling!


ACTUAL sexual orientation CANNOT be choosen or changed. Only a person's knowledge and understanding of their own orientation can change, but not the orientation itself.

Just like when a person who is right handed looses his/her ability to use their right hand is Forced to use their left hand out of necessity. It hasn't changed their natural handed orientation only their ability to use what hand they are naturally oriented to use has.

Answer 2

Your friend may have -- I certainly did not have any choice at all -- except the choice to be a happy gay, or a miserable self-hating one. I also would bet, if she did "decide to be a lesbian" when she had feelings for males; that she still feels attraction to males and desires them sexually; exactly the same way that those who are gay but want to be straight and enter "ex-gay" programs and such things and try to be straight, still feel all the attraction and sexual desires for the same gender.

You cannot change, not inside. You can change behavior -- but never desire. Not from gay to straight, and not from straight to gay.

All of that said, there is a known level of fluidity that exists for women according to a lot of researchers that appears to not be present in men -- so if you are going to find people who genuinely "choose" and stick to their choice, I think you are more likely to find it among women than among men.

And, of course, there is the question of bisexuality. If she happens to be bisexual, perhaps without realizing it traditionally -- she can indeed switch back and forth at will -- but in that case she never was straight (she always had some feelings for females along with whatever feelings she had for males) AND she isn't really lesbian now, she still has feelings for guys -- she just selects one set of the feelings to go with.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 3

I cannot speak for other people, but for me it was not a choice. I never woke up one day and said "You know, I think I will be gay." It simply didn't happen that way for me. All I know is, when I was entering puberty, I slowly came to the realization that I liked guys. I don't know why, how, or exactly when it happened...it just did. Nothing happened to me, I have two wonderful, loving parents, and my environment growing up was loving and nurturing. I have three siblings that grew up in the same environment, and they are all straight. Thus, I didn't choose this. In fact, if I HAD been given the choice, I would have chosen to be straight. People can say what they want, but I simply don't buy that it is a choice.

Answer 4

Of course it can be a choice! I mean how many times does this scenario happen: A man that has been married for more than10 or 20 years and has raised his children into adulthood, suddenly admits that he is gay.
He chose to be straight for almost more than half his life before ever doing or saying anything about it. I am an objectivist and therefore believe that people are capable of doing most anything they want to, whether it is good or bad.

Answer 5

I believe that a person can choose to live a gay lifestyle. But they can't choose to change whether they are fundamentally heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. I think that is a genetic characteristic.

Put the question in an opposite light. Can you be heterosexual by choice? If you are heterosexual, did you choose to be? OR did you just naturally know that you are?

Thank you for asking that answers be respectful. A lot of my friends who are gay say that people can be way too mean sometimes. It's a shame.

Good journeys,

Asha

Answer 6

Someone could make that choice, but it would be VERY uncomfortable if they were straight before, and the transition would not be easy. Most homosexual people are either born that way or brought into it subconsciously through environment at a very early age.

Answer 7

I believe that from what little I know about genetics, homosexuality is not a choice. It is a psychological as well as physical abnormality whereby something went wrong with the normal combination of the chromosomes. I also believe that there are several degrees of homosexuality, that is, for instance a normally female looking lesbian as opposed to a "bull dyke", a normally looking gay as opposed to "prima donna". Your friend I believe had her conscious choice already established way back but that she finally decided to get out of the closet.

Answer 8

I know a lot of homosexuals that remember being very young and attracted to the same gender, before ever knowing what "homosexual" was (myself included).
Straight people have the same experience, only it was the opposite gender, before ever knowing the first thing about sex.
So, no, children don't make that choice, they just are who they are. And the same is true for adults. I don't believe we can change who we are, and I don't believe it's a choice.

Answer 9

When I was taking psychology classes in college, I learned that homosexuality can be a choice when the person has been sexually abused as a child. But usually, it is not a choice. Neurotransmitters in the brain and hormones are different in homosexuals. There is a biological difference.

Answer 10

Once a person has realized that they are homosexual then they may choose to remain celibate, to marry into a probably loveless union due to family or other pressure or they may choose to search for happiness in the way they are made.
Rose P.