Does he have the right to complain?

Question

He says that I have "let myself go", whatever that means. He also said that he refuses to take me out because I always look frumpy.
I take care of 3 kids, a household, and a business....what does he expect? For me to do all that in a miniskirt, heels, and a smile?
I think he's being picky....

Answer 1

Tell him you'll have more time to attend to your appearance if he helps out more with the kids and household! ;-)

Answer 2

I guess that's his way of communicating to you. ???

First off, tell him he has to compromise for you to have the time, to get back into the old you.

Let him bath the kids if they are young enough to have to be bathed. If they are a little older, have him supervise their bath times and bed time, if they are even a little older, still leave him in charge to get them into a shower/bath bedtime roll while he does the dishes.

This will give you time to take a bath or shower, wash your hair and blow dry it before bed. Put a little something extra on besides a T-Shirt for bed, like a nice pj shirt/bed lounger, if you aren't into lingerie.

In the morning, find some time to splash on a little mascara to bring your eyes out and some blush to a clean face. Brush your teeth before you go downstairs.
They make these very nice pants and tops called Bed loungers you could wear in the morning, that are soft, comfortable and have nice designs.

It's not easy to find "me" time when juggling home/family/kids/jobs~hubby.
So if he thinks you have become frumpy, tell him to take on some more of your responsibilites and he'll see a difference because you just haven't had time to yourself to make it any better.

Good luck ~ If you can wear a mini skirt and you want to ....get a baby sitter, go out and show him what he'll miss if he doesn't start taking better care of you :)

Answer 3

This is how men are. I don't have that problem. My man isn't hung up on my looks, at all. If i have a bad day, a long day, and i want to lounge around in huge pants and his shirt, he says "you deserve it".

I think even with 3 kids, you should still get dressed up every once in awhile, at least once a week. Men DO like to be pleased. Remember, he works too and would love to spend some "sexy" time with his wife.

Answer 4

Men are visual creatures. Maybe set aside a 'date night' where you both get dressed up and go out together. Get grandma or a babysitter in to look after the kids and re-connect.

Answer 5

Try dressing up once in a while You don't have to wear heels to look dressy. He has giving you a warning that he may take someone else out if you don't fix yourself up sometimes. If you want to keep him give it a try. Let him watch the kids so you can fix yourself up.

Answer 6

Has he looked in the mirror lately? Tell him to buy you some nice new clothes and take you out somewhere nice. Or make him watch the kids and go out yourself.

Answer 7

I think he's being a jerk , has he got the same body as when you married him ? putting aside the fact what carrying a baby inside of you from 38 to 40 weeks does to your whole body , if he's let himself go then whats his excuse ? sympathy pregnancy? that was my 1st husband's excuse anyways.

Tell him to grow up or get out.

Answer 8

no hes not being picking. he is telling you wants and need from you. ok take one day off during the week to romance your husband. date him again. dress up and look sexy. send the kids away for the night or get a babysitter. he is saying that you are taking his loving you for granted. he wants you to lose weight (if needed) put on some makeup, get a new hair cut, get a pedicure and manicure. get sexy and dressy for him and do it on the regular. this is what he needs from you and dont take this lightly. or your next question will be how do i get my husband back. GodBless

Answer 9

yes, everyone has right to complain.but he hasn't especially ,to u . u do everything for him,so he has no right to complain to u.he thought u are frumpy. and why did he marry u? because u has been beautiful before in his eye. most of women has been changing after they had babies or with the ages grow.as a husband , he should accept that, i think.

Answer 10

What a jerk! I would suggest planning a night to go out without him. Make him watch the kids and you get all dolled up and go out with the girls.

Answer 11

let yourself go mean that you stop taking care of yourself. just tell him if he help out with the kids and around the house, it would free up some time for you to take care of yourself.