Does this sentence need revision? Grammar experts please help!?

Question

I grew up in a family of two siblings-- I, the middle child-- and two devoted parents.

I'm trying to play around with the syntax/punctuation, any suggestions?

Well me being the middle child obviously indicates that I have one younger and one older sibling. I don't know how to revise it!

Answer 1

I come from a family of five--two devoted parents and three siblings, with me being the middle child.

Of my two devoted parents' offspring, I am the middle child of three siblings.


(There are a couple examples for you)

Answer 2

Many problems with it.

First, you say the family consisted of two siblings - which implies NO parents - and then you reference the two parents.

Second, you say TWO siblings, and then reference yourself ("I") and "the middle child" - but a child is only "middle" if there are at least THREE siblings. Unless this is some sort of attempt at literature and you're planning on saying that the third sibling is dead.

Third, it's actually not clear whether "I" and "the middle child" are actually the SAME person - and so there would be just ONE child, NO siblings, yet still that "middle" word.

Too much of a mess to suggest anything for you.

Answer 3

You use "I" twice, not wrong, per say...but how about...
As the middle child, I grew up with two siblings and a devoted mother and father. What do you think??

Answer 4

IT needs something.. ahh.
Maybe.
I,the middle child of a family of 3 children and two devoted parents.