When it rains she wants me to take her to school instead of standing at the bus stop. She tells me to meet her at the bus stop instead of the house. She told me her mom does not want her to go with me. I told her to ask her and that is what she said. I told her to ask her out of consideration. I believe I am not breaking any law by picking her up. I have been told that when the children request being with me that denying them this time is not in the best interests of the kids. I had mentioned earlier that I have approval to bring my concerns in front of a judge and this is one of them. I just know my ex will tell my kids "daddy is taking mommy to court" and make me look like the evil one. As my kids get older they are wanting to decide who to spend time with and the court needs to know. Anyone have some more insight?
2007-10-10 13:38:23 · 10 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it is joint justody then she really can't stop you. If she is the custodial parent though, then she can. What helps is the kids are older and the court takes what they say a lot more seriously.
Believe it or not, they do eventually get old enough to see what the parents are doing and can figure things out for themselves. So never, ever say anything about your ex. Let her say all of the bad things. If she does say something about Daddy taking her to court tell them things like I'm sorry she feels that way, it's the most fair way to work things out and so on.
Good Luck!
2007-10-10 13:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by raven44012 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With your ex wife playing power game's and using your children as pawns to gain what she wants it will take your children to between the ages of 13 and 18 to realise what damage she is causing to them before they retaliate and in the end cut all ties with her.
Take her before the judge and state your case but I dont know of any judge who listens to parents stating that 1 parent is doing this and that without the judge becoming totally biased and taking the side of the accused parent unless you have physical proof of the thing's she is saying and doing its all here say and if you go in all ready to tear the ex apart you'll lose emotionally and most probably financially.
Your not representing yourself are you? because that would be totally foolish make sure you have a law attourney representing you .
While it is never in the best interest of the child to have a parent deny access the children and the parent should understand that the child is just that a child and therefore should not be making any demands that makes them feel as if they are controlling their parents via emotional black mail so which ever child is doing it stop them now your setting a very bad example for them by allowing them to be the boss and believe me the judge will see this and not be impressed.
This is what is wrong in today's society , to many parents trying to befriend the child while this is a good way to keep communications open between you it is also a bad way to allow them to forget who is the responsible person and who should be laying the law down to protect them from outside sources that would set out to harm them.Do not forget that you are the parent and therefore it is your responsbility to set an example and guide lines and rule's and undermining your ex wife's rule's just because you dont get along and allowing your child to play 1 against the other is a very bad decision indeed.
2007-10-10 14:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I am not mistaken a 14 yr. old can decide which parent they want to live with but a 14 yr. old daughter can play the sympathy card like no one else can mom said and dad said all over the place show her attention and yes if she is having you pick her up then YOU need to be the one to let mom know not her remember she is still a child and divorce hurts. If you have specified visitation then picking her up on a day that isn't listed in your visitation is breaking the law and if you have a vengeful ex she may use it against you be careful. Hope everything works out. Keep loving your kids when you can and show support for them.
2007-10-10 13:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We are having a similar issue too. My husbands daughter is also overweight, and it was concerning us too. A child's health, and their future health really is determined on the patterns they learn as a child. We found a growth chart online, like the ones they use at a Dr's office. In our case, the child was in the 75th percentile on height and weight was off the chart (above 100%). My husband and I have made sure that when she is with us, that we are providing her with healthy meals and snacks. We try to speak about health and diet, without making her feel like we are putting her down about her weight. We also have tried to provide her with some form of exericse when she is with us, such as taking a walk, swimming, playing games outside, etc. We also approached her mother, and showed her the results of the growth chart. We further told her of the health issues of her being overweight, diabetes, kidney problems, etc.etc. However, her mother denies that the child has a weight issue and thinks we are horrible for even trying to suggest a more healthy lifestyle for her. So, the best thing you can do is set a good example for her and try to teach her good healthy eating and exercising habits. I would try to talk with her mom. If mom does not want to cooperate, then keep it up on your end anyhow. By the way, it's great to hear that you want to address this issue, and that you seem sensitive to your daughters feelings and well being.
2016-05-21 02:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm divorced... so I know what the heck you are going through.
The best thing you can do is stay on the same page/wave length as your ex. Talk to her about what's going on... make the first step to parent your children together. The saying is true... you are stuck with your ex until the kids are 18. Also, don't let your 14 year old work you over like that. Girls sure do know how to manipulate!! :) i would stick strictly to the court papers and what you and your ex agree on. Back to the bus stop... if you "override" or go behind your ex's back... how are the kids supposed to learn respect and obedience and honesty. Set the example, have respect for their mother and things will improve. I know it's hard. I struggle everyday just being nice to my ex. Good luck!
2007-10-10 13:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
What the hell? Grow up...you and your ex. You are so petty that you are arguing over who takes the kids to school?! And going to take it to court?!!! You both need to grow up REAL quick or your children will hate both of you.
2007-10-10 13:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would take her to court over it. If she wants to try and play the kids like puppets and tell them "Daddy is taking Mommy to court" then explain to them that you wouldn't take her to court if she would listen to what THEY want.
2007-10-10 14:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I bet she tells her mother the samething talk to your wife
2007-10-10 13:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer and fast!
2007-10-10 13:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is an issue for your attorney.
2007-10-10 13:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋