my bf and i recently broke up. We had a live-in set up for many years. he was the one who initiated the break up. I moved out. there was a third party. but after just a few days he sends me txt messages saying that he misses me, and he thinks he loves me even more now. he asked me if i would take him back. but he still has a relationship with the girl. i told him i would have to decide about that once he breaks up with the girl. He tol me he's willing to break up with the girl. But it seems that its taking him too long to decide.I tol him not to call or text me anymore. That my doors are closed completely. Now he always calls me but I don't answer the phone. I still love him but I don't trust him anymore.
2007-10-10 13:10:47 · 20 answers · asked by OnionSkin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stick to your guns.
If he really wanted you back for the RIGHT reasons, he would've broken up with the other girl before even approaching you. Also, you said yourself that you don't trust him - that's a sign right there that it's not meant to be. It SUCKS right now (believe me, I know), but you'll get over this and you'll be a better person in the end. :) Don't let some cheating jerk bring you down!
2007-10-10 13:26:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lena S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, do you share? I don't. and I think that's the only way to be. Relationships are Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust, and if he's sharing the passion, the other three are in the toilet, or soon will be. He's trying to keep you and the Jerk in Reserve. You don't trust him? Then sweets, whether you get it or not, it's over. Only 20% of reltionships survive betrayal, and you were betrayed. 20% is an F in school, and an F in life. What ARE you thinking. And, btw, you don't love this guy, you love what you HAD, what was once there. We all love that. But, guess what? IT's gone. Find a great guy worthy of your trust and love. This one ain't it.
2007-10-10 20:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to go with your gut feeling of not trusting him. Not only was he your boyfriend, you were living together. That makes it soo much worse - for you, and the fact he did it. If you even have to tell him to break up with that girl, that should be telling you all you need to know right there. There should be noone else - period the end. And the fact that there is, and he is "so in love with you"...come on. If you take him back, you will be telling him its ok to treat you like crap. You sound like a smart girl, and you dont deserve that. Move on with your life, and be thankful he was just a boyfriend you lived with - not a husband or father of your kids. Good luck.
2007-10-10 20:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by My2Cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe in 2nd chances.. however if he is sincere he shouldn't still be with this other woman. What he should have done is break off with her and then come to you and did his thing.. But sounds like he's placing his bets in both places another words if he gets the nod from you that you will take him back then he'll throw her back into the sea.
If he truely realized he made a mistake and loves you more now than before as you mentioned. this other woman wouldn't even be in the picture anymore..
Something smells fishy here. I'd toss him back into the ocean as your doing.
2007-10-11 03:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think what he did was wrong but at the same time I also am a profound believer that everyone deserves a second chance. What they do with that second chance will tell you whether they're capable of changing or not. If you gave him another chance and he got his act together, and proved himself, eventually the respect and trust would rebuild itself (eventually, not quickly... it might take years) BUT if he did it to you again, then he will never change. Ever.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
You love him. Give him just once shot, and tell him that's all you have to offer him... one shot. If he messes up, you're gone forever. You may set yourself up for more heartbreak... but time heals, and personally, I'd rather know if the man I loved was capable of such a miraculous transformation or not.
Remember, people can change. And take it from me, I'm one of those people who did change...
2007-10-10 20:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by shellj_foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you & you moved out? He should have moved out. He said he still loves you but cheated on you? You've got a winner there!! If he is dragging his feet on deciding to break off with the b**** then he doesn't love you. He's playing your feelings. Change your #. I believe in Karma. He will have the same thing happen to him someday and will know how much he hurt you. You deserve better. He has alot of growing up to do.
2007-10-10 22:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same thing to me last year. (As I am sure you guessed I married him) He asked me the same question. I told him that he had to end the relationship, not talk to her anymore, and understand that he had to build my trust back, he took those conditions and within the hour he was back with me and for the last year he has proved himself time and time again. I trust him with my life. And of course, I married him so that says something about how much I love him and that I did forgive him and we were able to work it all out.
2007-10-10 20:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by bri_789 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me translate the text message for you.
What he was saying is things aren't going so well. I want you back...but just until another girl comes along because I am too much of a wussy to go it alone for a while.
Don't be this guys safety net. You have too much self respect to be his Ms. Right Now.
Dump him and be done with it. You are too beautiful and too valuable of a person to be treated this way.
Good luck.
2007-10-10 20:16:29 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok wow seriously im a guy but i hate woman who do this. ok if you do take him back. this he'll jus do what he's doing now again to you later. he will say o ye she took me back last time and most likely he's coming back to you for some othe rpurpose besides love. think of this:
1) who makes more money in the relationship
2)whos more dependent
If the answer to dese 2 questions is you definitely do not take him back
2007-10-10 20:21:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what is best for you. If you think you could learn to trust him again and it is worth, it then give him another chance. If not, move on. Either way you make your decision, you need to stick with it. You can't dabble in both areas. THat wouldn't be good. Good luck, follow your heart.
2007-10-10 20:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by Annie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋