OK heres my situation, I have been patient but now I am at my wits end and want to know if he will ever change...
I have been with a guy for 2 years, we've been living together(with my parents) for a year.
He drinks too much and smokes. I hate him smoking... We broke up for a few months in the first year and he quit smoking then, we got back together and he started again.
I wanna buy a house soon but I'm dont wanna be with him if he's smoking, he says he's trying, most of the time he will only smoke when he drinks but thats not good enough for me.
WHat can I do to make him quit or is it not possible... Thanks for your help
2007-10-10 12:27:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
With the home, I will be buying it with my money- no help from him. And I have told him I will only move into the new home with him if he is not smoking
2007-10-10 12:43:32 · update #1
Boy, you're not gonna get another answer like this one, but here goes:
Smoking and drinking beer are both sugar addictions.
Beer is basically a bottle of sugar-water, and nicotine, when it enters the bloodstream, signals the brain to release sugar into the system. That's part of the reason why when you have a beer you wanna cigarette, and vice versa.
Explain this to him and tell him if he has a candy bar instead, or better yet cuts all sugar out of his diet (it's toxic, afterall) you're gonna let him keep seeing you.
2007-10-10 12:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by Bye for now... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cassie, I want you to take this from a person that has lived it. He will only do what he wants to do. If you stay with him now and he has not stop, then why are you trying to make him change now? You have already stated what you want in this relationship, but he does not comply. You've got a choice of what you want in your life and what you don't want in your life. Doesn't make him bad, it just means you have morals and standards. The part that concerns me though... You are looking to purchase a home, with no help from him and all you ask if he stops smoking. You really need to look at the fact of going into buying a home to put a man in it that doesn't share your sense of responsibility. You can do good and bad by yourself. AND! you can also find a man that does not drink, smoke and will make a commitment to you and share in the cost of building a life together. If he has not put any effort into try to better himself, then chances are he will stay the way he is. You should allow him to go his own way and learn how to put a roof over his own head. One that will allow him to smoke the house up and harden his liver.
2007-10-10 13:26:50 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but relationships are this simple. We push the people we love as far and as hard as we can until we see how much they will take; once we know that line, we just keep going there. He knows he can smoke and get away with it; he has this long. You may be able to compromise and make him smoke outside only if you want to buy a new home but it's going to be hard to lay down the law at this point. Good luck.
2007-10-10 12:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by littleone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a passive smoker you are exposing yourself to some seriously toxic cancer causing chemicals so this is not just an issue for his health but for yours also..
If he genuinely wants to give up smoking for the sake of both your health he will make every effort to do so, if he is not really making a good effort I don't think he will really change. Smoking is highly addictive and in order to kick the habit a person really must have a strong desire to quit to do so, I have been there and the decision to quit was for myself which I think really is the main key to quitting.
If he is quitting just for you he may resent you for it and take it up again anyway if you have an argument etc
You really need to consider if you love him enough to put up with it for the rest of your life and if your own health is worth putting on the line.
2007-10-10 12:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by kazbian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoking kills him and you faster. If it's very important to you, then you need to decide if it's worth breaking up over. I used tobacco for about 10-14 years until I finally went cold turkey and quit. It took me a number of tries before that, and this was before any of those patch things. I would advise that he stops drinking if he only does it then because the two bad habits were made for each other.
2007-10-10 12:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by x2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-21 23:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you really love this guy maybe you could compromise and tell him he has to go out side to smoke and when he comes in he has to bursh his teeth (been making DH do this since I got rpegnant).
If you don't love him then don't get a house with him.
2007-10-10 13:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is smoking....He is drinking.....He is not helping you purchase the house.......You and Him are living with your parents......He sounds like a real winner. What is he contributing to your relationship other than making you miserable?
2007-10-10 13:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by Angele A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO AND DON'T EXPECT IT. What you see now is what you will have later on in life with this guy, so the choice is yours. This sort of guy is also full of broken promises. Think carefully.
2007-10-10 12:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You keep pressuring him and you will push him in the arms of a female smoker who will take his side and make you out to be a real b i t c h . If you don't want to lose your guy you better ease up a bit.
2007-10-10 12:40:51 · answer #10 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋