How do I tell my parents I'm pregnant?

Question

I am 22 year old college student with no job or financial security of any kind. My boyfriend is also 22, but not is a high school drop out with no job. My parents don't approve of us and told me if I got pregnant I would have to quit school, which I will not do, I am almost done. The thing is, they are both in their fifties and don't view things the way I do, and it causes problems. I love my boyfriend and am very excited about this baby she's going to be named Emma Elisabeth for her father's last name starts with an e too so we can call her triple e. But I don't know the best way to tell my parents about it. I'm 6 months pregnant so, they will notice when I go home for christmas, but I want to tell them before I go home. I live 45 minutes away from school and hospital, so if I go into labor at home it won't be a big deal to get to the hospital, but still worried about how to tell them and how they will take it.

Answer 1

My words were, "Mom, you remember what you always worried about happening? Well, it's happened." Her words, "YOUR PREGNANT!!" Amazingly enough no matter what most** of the time they change their veiw on it all. When it is happening to them, their little girl, it is different than when it is happening to someone elses and different than when they are just thinking about it. If you want them to be able to get over the shock without you having to listen, do what I did for my grandparents, send bibs.... I had the packages tracked so I knew when they'd gotten them. Later on that night I called... I didn't want to have to sit on the line with that awkward silence.....uuuuummmmm....... They are going to have to find out one way or another - might as well just do it. I found out 2 days before my wedding invitations went out.. I told my parents and then waited 2 months until the wedding had passed to tell everyone else. My g-parents were disappointed and they told me so, but they've grown to love the idea of this baby.

I agree with the above answer about having a plan before you call. Let them know you aren't putting any resposibility off on them except loving the child. This will also help them understand that you are an adult. By not feeling resposible, they may be more apt to help. I know it sure helped my family.

You don't have to quit school. Explain to them your feelings on this. They, honestly, should be excited you want to finish - it is a big deal these days. I can't give advice on their feelings about the father - I wasn't in a situation like that. If you don't have health coverage, you can apply for medicaid or your state's equivilant. In your situation - you'll most likely get it.
You need medical care asap if you haven't gotten any yet!

I wish you the best of luck... Send me a message if you want to talk more...

BTW: I love the Eli - s- abeth.. My middle name is spelled that way, and my little girl's (if I have one) will be that as well.

Answer 2

You could tell them "Then I said, the heck with my diet..." Christmas is still 2 and a half months away, so maybe you will have the baby before you go home. you could hide it in the garage and sneak out to breast-feed him/her.

Seriously, what you are asking is "How can I finish college?". I guess the first thing you need to know is, what are your options? Some schools offer special allowances for medical conditions - which I would think, pregnancy is one. Secondly, how long can you put off returning - a year, 2 years, before your credits are no good? What about full-year courses versus the ones that end at Christmas? Timing is good, if you can finish the fall courses before junior arrives. (I think if your water breaks during an exam, you have the option of rewriting later.) Also, some colleges have special scholarships and other help for mothers returning to school...

Secondly, how do you plan to live? Are you saying the bf can't even pay for living quarters and food? I assume right now you are in residence, and the policy does not allow for live-in dropouts and infants... If you expect your parents to keep paying for everything, well, I can sympathize with their position. At a certain point, they expect you to fly on your own - usually before you start laying eggs, to scramble a metaphor. Also, how do you plan to get by after you graduate?

However - you may be pleasantly surprised. Phone and tell them ASAP so they have time to get used to the idea. Some grandparents like to spoil a grandchild.

If you tell them now, they have more time to get over the initial anger and think things through. Hit them over the head with it at Christmas (or with a call from the hospital "Guess what, um, grandma...") and they have to adjust to everything including the new child, the "I need an apartment, and child care money too", and whether they can/want to afford it, and they have to decide in a matter of days.

Tell them that it would be a shame to flush away 3 and a half years of investment, now that you're so close to graduating. (I sure hope you're doing OK at college). If the degree promises better job and pay than no degree - another selling point. Maybe if they provided you just as much as they have so far, papa can make up the difference. After all, you're in this together.

Answer 3

You are an adult. Your parents cant MAKE you quit school. If you are almost done finish now! You may have to pay for it but get a loan.

You are 6mo preg and havent told them???????? I would say you should have considered all of these things at month 1 or 2. Maybe you should have considered if you and your boyfriend are qualified to take care of a child. Just sounds like a lot of irresponsibility going on here.

Since it is too late to get an abortion...you have to tell them. I may get a thumbs down for that comment but whatever.

Tell them asap. Tell them on the phone if you have to but dont wait any longer.

You should finish school and look into a cheap form of daycare. Get educated on what is to come and weigh your options.

Be prepared for a lot of work.

If you know that you cannot handle a child then consider adoption. If you decide to keep the child then find a support system. I am sure all of your friends will be there for you. Your parents will learn to deal with it. They wont be mad for long. Once the baby comes they will fall in love with her. They wont want to lose you.

But please consider everything and be responsible. Love your baby and do everything in your power to give her a good life. That starts with getting your education.

I am not here to judge but WHY does your boyfriend not work? You are 6 months preg. Shouldnt he be working and saving money? I would lay down the law on that really fast! Time for him to grow up b/c like it or not....hes going to be a daddy in about 12 weeks.

Answer 4

well I think you already have your mind made obviously your are past abortion time so you wanted to have the baby.....remember you are an adult and if you are excited about it then don't let any one else ruin that..........but reality is you are going to have to make some sacrifices and changes in your life..........so you either are going to be going to school full time and working or you may have to school part time and work and it may take longer for you to finish............and the dad definantely has to get a job.....eventhough he is a HS drop out there is a job out there he can find........well December is right around the corner so you have to think about childcare etc......for once the baby comes.......it may help if you approach your parents with the news and also have a plan,......unless you were planning to depend on them for financial support.........then they maybe a little more disappointed and probably stressed........and maybe the dad needs to be there too, so that he can also show that he is stepping it up.......look into government programs to help you since you are a full time student......maybe you and your boyfriend should talk about marriage soon too.............you will be fine and so will your baby, you did a great thing by not getting an abortion...........

Answer 5

There really is no easy way even though your an adult it is still hard it is like admitting you had sex...LOL I would just be honest and tell them that you are pregnant and very excited about it and you would like it if they were excited too!
You and your parents don't have to see eye to eye as you are the only one who needs to live with this decision and your the only one who has to live your life.
I wish you the best of luck. I know it is hard. Even though I was 29 when I had my second child the first one I was 16 I made my husband tell them because I felt like I was going to get grounded or something! LOL
Good luck and congrats!

Answer 6

first of all... dont quit school if you're almost done, finish up while you can... your boyfriend though... he needs to get a job, because a baby can be quite the expense... maybe if you presented the idea to your parents, with you both having jobs, they'd be more understanding.. I was afraid to tell mine also, I was shaking to death while trying to spit out the words.. but in the end, it turned out fine.,.. they realized they cant fix whats already been done, so they might as well accept it... im sure your parents love you, and they'll learn to live with it, even if they don't at first.. give them time, it'll be alright.. good luck, and congrats.

Answer 7

Well, it will be easier to tell them over the telephone. You can't see the faces of possible disappointment.
I guess my sugestion would be to 'get a plan' with your boyfriend.
How will I finish school once she is born?
Where will I live after she is born (babies can't live on campus)?
Where will the baby go for daycare while I am at school?
How will I pay for daycare (if I have NO job)?
Can I get a job and still go to school?

Once you guys have a 'decent' plan, it would be easier to let them know you've thought things through and you have a plan. Acknowledge that it isn't going to be a piece of cake, but you are determined to complete school to have a decent job for your new family.

If you think they will "cut you off" financially - You need to step up your game and work full time and go to school part time.

They aren't responsible to take care of both of you - and considering you are over 18 - they don't "have" to take care of you anymore. . . so don't be surprised since you broke the rule... they don't keep up their end of the bargin (putting you through school).

Answer 8

You're an adult. You have nothing to be ashamed of (other than perhaps being guilty of bad timing since you aren't exactly financially secure at the moment). Just tell them flat out. "I'm pregnant, and I have every intention of completing school, and we plan on raising this baby together." Hopefully you are paying for college yourself somehow and not expecting them to take care of you now that you're an adult with your own family to care for. That wouldn't be appropriate.

If they are negative and unsupportive, then just be assertive for yourself and tell them you understand their concerns, but don't appreciate any unwanted negativity during this special and happy time. If you have to, stay away from them until they learn how to be supportive of your decisions.

They'll come around eventually, once that baby is here. But the longer you wait to tell them, the harder it will be.

Answer 9

Tell them as soon as possible - I would completely flip if my daughter waited so long to tell me! You aren't even giving them time to mentally prepare that they will be grandparents. Why don't you call your mom and invite her to lunch and drop the bomb - you could meet her at a restaurant and get there before she does (so you'll be sitting). She wouldn't cause a scene in a public place and this might give her a chance to calm down before you both leave. I wouldn't bring your boyfriend along - just you and her. Then you can let her break it to your dad. Unless you'd rather the two of them come for lunch? Don't wait any longer - you should have told them from the start, but you really need to give them as much time as possible. Please - just do it and get it over with.

Answer 10

Yeah they will shout complain be really angry tell u yv wasted ur life but then theres the calm.This is their 1st granddaughter and they will not miss out on that. So ur not in the best financial situation but if we all waited till we could afford kidz we probably wouldnt have any. Yr in love & happy thats all any1 wants for their kidz. Ur parents will b very cold and hurtful for a while but it wont last ur their daughter and they luv u. Tell them the sooner the better.