What would be a better or more politically correct way to phrase this sentence?

Question

"Here we stand, all white except for one, amongst a predominantly dark population."

I'm talking about the word dark.

It's for my college application essay.

Here's the sentence in context. Is the last sentence better now?

The appreciation is for this breath-taking day with beautiful weather. We're in the Bahamas, 13 of us and two teacher chaperons. Here we stand at the store of this man and his family while he plays guitar for our benefit and tells us his personal philosophies. Here we stand, all light-skinned except for one, amongst a predominantly dark-skinned population.

It's about how much they value connections with other people there, whereas in America we tend to be more disconnected.

Answer 1

I would use the word diverse. Colleges love that word.

Answer 2

Say dark-skinned or brown.

But I'm having an issue with "amongst". It's British, not American. The committee will call you out on it because they will know the difference.

Editing: Oh, dear, I'm afraid the whole thing makes you look like a spoiled white tourist. Take away the race altogether and say something about the philosophies he taught you that day.
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Answer 3

How about "diverse?" I'm assuming you're not talking just about our dark-skinned friends, but about minorities as a collective, and as you know, Asians aren't dark, and Hispanics are only a nice medium-brown, so you should go with diverse. By the way, what on Earth is the topic of your application essay? Apartheid?

Answer 4

Amongst a predominantly African American population, here we stand, all Caucasian, except for one. (Assuming the setting is in America.)

Answer 5

Hmm.. I'm trying to figure out the politically incorrect part and am coming up at a loss. Not too much offensive there. A tad oversensitive perhaps or have the PC police infiltrated to that level?

Answer 6

I would recommend you say what you mean. Whether you are talking about skin or hair, they are differences in people's appearances. If you are talking about skin tones I would change white to light. If you are talking about whites and African Americans, change dark to black. If by dark, you are talking about a diverse group, I would again change white to light. I guess what I mean is, by clouding a word with a nicer or more ambiguous one, you are not completely communicating what you mean and it comes off to appear patronizing to those you are describing. I hope my rambling is helpful.

Answer 7

Hmm....here we stand, all Ethno-European except for one, amongst a population consisting predominantly of people of color.
(please kill me now, I can't believe I just answered a question like this!)

Answer 8

I have recently done an Equal Opportunities and Diversity course.
I learnt that the correct word to use is "black".
Other phrases, e.g. people of colour; dark people; etc., are patronising.
Just say it how it is to cause least offence.

Answer 9

"Here we stand, all white except for one, amongst a predominantly non-white population."

Answer 10

i would say,

"Amongst a predominately dark population, here we stand, all white except one."

soo......im not exactly past 8th grade yet, but thats just a guess .... haha good luck c[ :