How do I deal with this problem...?

Question

Ok well I am 14 and I think some of it has to do with my age. Well sometimes I feel like nobody really understands me. I AM NOT DEPRESSED...just so you peoples know that. But I mean my mom tells me I am kinda weird because I wear skinny jeans and band shirts and converse and stuff. And then she tells me about my music. Its like all she wants to do is nag on me and piss me off. I know she is my mom but like my dad is different. He likes my music and likes the way I dress because I am expressing myself. Its like sometimes my mom wants me to be the picture perfect daughter when I am not. Yeah I get good grades and do what I am told, but sometimes I don't do what she asks me to do because I don't see why I should be doing her stuff. I just feel like I am trying to find my place still, and a lot of the kids at my school don't really dress the way I dress. Like they wear Hollister A&F and all that. I do too but not all the time only really because my mom forces me to.Guess I just needed toge

it out of my system...

Ok first answer I am not emo! I don't cut and have never thought about cutting at all! So don't be a hater and call me emo

I am sorry but I am not gonna let my mom pretty much mold me into the precious little preppy prick she wants! She always has something bad to say about emo people and it pisses me off then I tell her to just not say anything she gets mad because I am standing up for them, and she is also trying to like ruin who I am

My grades are amazing! I am in the best academy at my school and I am taking all honors class I have all A's except Chem. I have a B+ in there

I listen to all kinds of rock, alternative, emo, hardcore, screamo, metal, everything

Answer 1

Your mom is trying to fix her problems through you. The truth is, high school sucks for everyone at some point. Your mom is looking out for you (even though you don't need it, she still thinks you do). Thank her for her help, and be glad to have parents who notice you. Make an effort to please your parents while still maintaining your individuality. It sounds like you're doing a great job.

Answer 2

You're being a typical teenager and there is nothing wrong with that. We all went through the phase of realizing we're a separate entity from our parents.

I know as parent myself, we sometimes have expectations of our children that are a bit unfair in the sense that, each person is an individual. Although we have an ideal of how our child should be, our child is a person whole and separate from who we might expect them to be.

My baby is just 2 and I can already see that she's got her own individuality and I think that is wonderful. I do have expectations of her, like getting good grades, being responsible and respectful, but I think it's important that as she continues to grow that I allow her to be herself as an individual. I think parents forget that sometimes.

Also, your mom might think that if you aren't like the other kids, you'll be a loner or won't fit in. She probably thinks that would 'make your life easier' or maybe it's just her way of protecting you. Another thing is I think mother's really want their daughters to be a reflection of them. That too is unfair, but again, it's how parents can be.

Maybe the best way for you te deal with it is, if you can't talk to her face to face, write her a note and let her know that you appreciate her concern about your appearance, and that if you were in her shoes you'd probably feel the same way. However, you are happy with the way you look and that you do well in school list all the great things about yourself - all the positives, etc. and that it would really help if she could back off a little and let you just develop as a person. You love her, but a lot of the things she says upset you and almost make you think that she doesn't accept you as you are.

Hope that helps you out a bit - good luck - and you just keep being yourself!

Answer 3

It sounds like your mother is trying to get you to go down a path you don't really want to. You are right though: you are definitely trying to find your place in your own life and to discover who you are. Thing is, not a lot of people can say with confidence "I know exactly who I am". This is because our entire lives we're learning and with this learning comes change. How can one know when or how these changes are to occur? See what I'm saying? You are not alone in your endeavor to find yourself. Join the billions of others who are lost souls in their own bodies. You didn't mention what "your music" was, though I will venture a guess and say it's something your mother isn't accustomed to hearing. But that is fine, that particular genre of music might help you figure something out about yourself, or help to express some trait of yours. The more you can do to define yourself a human being, a unique soul, the better. But never forget to keep learning, keep an open mind becuase you never know when a good deed will be returned...

Hope I was able to shed some light on at least a little of what you were going through.

Answer 4

That is so cool you wear Converse! I was the only 14 year old girl at my school who wore Converse All Stars back in the 80's. Only boys wore them but I thought they were so cool. They are classic and never go out of style.
Anyway, you really just need to tell your mom that you have your own tastes and as long as you are a good kid and are responsible and doing well in school, she should give you room to grow into your own person. Do this sweetly of course because your mom loves you. She is just a more conservative person. Tell her that her nagging is driving a wedge between your relationship and you want to have a closer one and she needs to try and respect your decisions. You are a young lady, now.

Good luck, sweetie! You gotta be you!!!!

Answer 5

Girl: You are so typical. Your dad sees you as his cutie, but your mom realizes that you may be headed for trouble (or so she thinks) because of the way you dress which tells her that you are a misfit. The question, really, should be: how are your school grades? If you average a "c" you are in trouble and your mother worries are correct. If you average a "b" or better I would tell mom not to worry and show her the evidence that your dress is just a fad.
Now the ball is in your court.
Mr. M. on "problem."

Answer 6

Yeah I totally know how you feel.

My family is divided into two halfs

Preppy/and well you know like us lol.

My preppy side just wants to take the other side right out of me. And it pisses me off.

Now, the other side is accepting and doesn't give a **** how I choose to live my life.

I was wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt and my aunt was like, "you should take that shirt off" and I was not going to do it and I didnt. There was nothing wrong with it except it had a face of a singer whose music she doesnt like.

So whatever you know.

Answer 7

First of all just do the housechores becase that's the only way you can contribute a little to make your parents a little happy. It's not that you are doing their job but you need to realize that in real world nobody is going to pamper you and do your part.
Dress the way you like if you want, just show a little respect.
You cannot understand that now but one day you will.

Answer 8

Welcome to my life. Of course, I'm kept on a much shorter leash than you. Both of my parents nag at me all the time. They want me to act, dress, talk, and even eat only what they approve of. I have no friends. No clothes. No life. Lately I've been doubting if there is such a thing as love. I have no one to talk to and there is no one that can help me. I have so many problems that have been diagnose, but still, proper action has not taken place. So when you feel like crap, just be thankful that you aren't living my life. If you could even call my shoddy excuse for a life that.

Answer 9

I think it's awesome you're expressing yourself like that. It really sucks that your mom isn't being supportive of you like your dad is, but parents are just like that ya know? Your mom probably has this stereotypical view of people who dress like you, and thinks you are gonna be like the rare ppl you hear of who are depressed, cut, get into drugs, and stuff like that.

I say stay true to who you are,and don't let others mold you into something you're not.

Answer 10

Do the stuff your mom wants you to do. In 1,460 days you will be out of the house and you can play any music you want - until your first child is born.

You have reached an age where you are starting to become your own person, but unfortunately they will never reach an age where you are not their kid.
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