Barn Brats?

Question

I dont know if you could call these girls barn brats, but all i know is that they are straight up making it so i avoid coming to see my horse on nights i know they are there. They dont intimidate me they just get on my nerves. Three of them are a little older than me, one is a tad younger, and one is a few years younger. The one closest to my age isnt my problem.

These girls constantly are throwing unsolicited advise at me. If they think im putting my saddle on wrong they talk to me about it, telling me im doing bad. When im in the middle of riding my horse one of the girls will go "make sure you walk him". Its not like i dont appreciate advise but ive made it pretty clear that i do not want the advise. Then when i snap back they start bragging saying stuff like "Maybe he can be like my horse one day" Which gets annoying because for one my horse is 15, there horse are all under 10. So obviously i dont want my horse like theirs.

And one day one of the girls was jumping her horse over a 3 foot barrel. Our instructor told her not to, clearly its dangerous. I was trying out a new bit. and she goes " Im not in the mood for you to copy me."
I swear next time a fuse is going to pop. I mean a cussing out fuse. Its made me mad to a point where i hate coming out and being critisized. My horse is a blm mustang which ive trained MYSELF. I dont know what i should do. Im afriad if i get really mad one day that ill start cussing them out and my trainer will hear. What should i do? i cant handle this anymore without them stepping off. should i email them nicely? Ive tried to be nice but im not so sure it will work

Answer 1

The first golden rule that people look for when being jerks is to get a reaction and they know they are baiting you and it's working. You could just ignore them, or you could have it out with them or you could try thinking up some real blistering replies. Another way to deal with them is to openly laugh and say "Oh yeah, whatever" and go about your business. That will have the effect of making them look small.The other alternative is to tell your trainer.
People that force their advice and make smart remarks are usually insecure and jealous and they make themselves feel better by putting down others. Always remember that when they say something, just think to yourself that these are tiny little fish in a very big fish bowl and in the scheme of things are very inconsequential.

Answer 2

How about sickening sweet sarcasm? It sounds like they just want to get your goat. It's very bad manners to offer unsolicited advice in almost any situation. The exceptions are if it's a very close friend or if you are doing something (and I doubt this) that is so dangerous as to cause you or horse serious injury. If you blow a fuse then the barn brats have won. You gave them the reaction they wanted. So next time take a few deep breaths. Smile. Thank them profusely for their advice. "Why thank you. I guess I AM putting my saddle on wrong. How horrible of me. Thank God you were here to tell me about this awful mistake. " then go on doing just what you were doing. And it probably wouldn't hurt to say "Oh and I better make sure I walk him, right?" as you are about to ride. There are brats like these at every barn. It's a shame. They just don't realize how lucky and priviliged they are to be able to own and ride horses. Thousands of girls would love that opportunity and these barn brats just take it for granted. BTW, all the barn brats I used to know and hate while I was growing up are no longer into horses. They moved onto boys, cars and whatever other distraction that mommy and daddy could buy for them. I can almost guarantee you that in 5 years they will never set foot in a stable again.

Answer 3

Riding my horse is my passion. No matter how old or young you are there will always be those who think they know everything. I am 57 years old and have been riding and training all my life and I have had the same thing happen at different times. Usually, when 3 are together they feel stronger, however, I bet when just one of them is around you they are quiet? They are really insecure with themselves. Maybe you are a better rider than they are and your horse better trained. This makes them jealous and in return they try to look better in their friends eyes by ridiculing you when in fact they feel threatened by you. Don't let anyone spoil your love for riding your horse and working him. He needs you everyday whether just to groom him and walk him or an all out ride and exercise. I have found that when I have one by themselves and I ask them a question (not being rude but honestly asking a question), it has opened up conversation and they see me and I see them in a different light. Be prepared that they may be back to the old bad behavior when their friends are around again cause they are afraid not be part of the pack. So ignore them and wait until they are alone again and start up conversation where you left off the last time and don't act like it bothers you. It will be hard at first, but keep your head up high, seat steady, and love every minute riding your horse.
Katysue

Answer 4

As a former barn manager this is something that I would have wanted to know about. It's very important that everyone enjoy coming to the barn. I've had to tell people to leave because they were inhibiting the free enjoyment of the barn for other paying customers.
Now all barn managers aren't professional and you'll have to judge that for yourself. Otherwise you've got some great advice. Just one thing that I'll add. If you start being nice or ignoring them their behavior will get worse before it gets better. Be prepared and ride it out.

Answer 5

I had to put up with a lot of barn brats myself when I was a teenager. I didn't own a horse at the time, and I was in a very snooty rich hunter/jumper barn. My mom was not a doctor and we didn't live in a half million dollar house. So I had to put up with snide behavior from these rich girls for a couple years purely because my main focus was on riding. You may want to look into a different facility, and if that is not feasible, you will just have to stand up for yourself and let them know "Hey, I did not ask for your advice and your comments are falling on deaf ears, now excuse me while I go ride my horse." There will always be people who think they know it all, you will just learn how to tune them out!

Answer 6

The sad thing about catty young brats is that politeness won't always work.

You can ignore them or you can tell them to back off sans cussing. Like all bullies they are looking for a good ego stroking reaction.

If it were me I'd be civil when necessary but otherwise I would be patient/stubborn and pretend they don't exist until they find something else to keep themselves occupied.

Remember you are paying for a service. This service does not include bullying by other boarders whether or not you/they are kids/adults is irrelevant. The barn manager while unable to control everyone should make an effort to make the environment tolerable for everyone. Freedom from bullies is absolutley not an unreasonable request.

Answer 7

Why don't you try doing to them what they do to you to annoy them? Try offering them unsolicited advise? Try not to be super serious about it...maybe have a little smile when you do it...that will drive them CRAZY...that you figured them out and now you are going after them with their own game...HA! You could go on and on about giving them advise. I've had people try to give me advise before and I just tell them flat out...I don't need or want your advise...I have a trainer that I pay for that. You know...you can think of TONS of comebacks for these little twits. You gotta stand up for yourself without coming unglued. They know they are annoying you and they are putting you in your place...thing is, your place is not under them...it is along side of them or in front of them. Don't let them make you feel like your less important or not experienced enough because you aren't where they are at in training. Anyway...good luck...don't let the barn brats get you down.

Answer 8

I feel for you. Your horse is something special that you enjoy, and they are being a pain. The answers above mine are great. I suggest you follow their advice, and at last resort, talk to the barn manager or your trainer. You are paying good money for board, and shouldn't have to put up with this.

If it were me, though, my temper and mouth would kick in. I would be comming up with stuff like
who died and left you boss?
I might take you seriously if you didn't have a booger hanging out of your nose.
If I wanted any "crap" out of you I'd unscrew your head and dip it out.

This is not a good idea though. It is hard, but you need to be the better person and rise above it.
The comment the brat made about you "copying" her, please. Like she is the first person to ever ride with this bit.
Could you bring one of your friends along when you know the brats are there just for a little mental support?
Could the barn manager post a sign about harassing other people will not be tolerated?
Don't let them bully you.

Answer 9

If you can by all means, change barns! You don't need to put up with that crap and you pay to board your horse, you're not paying to be harassed by some little saddle club "Veronica's" lol! Spending time with your horse should be sacred and enjoyable. If you can't then I suggest you buy an ipod or walkman and start keeping your ears full of music to drown out the Veronicas. Good luck hon.

Answer 10

As for the answers which encourage you to do the same thing back to them two wrongs don't make a right, and it is beyond petty.
These girls are bullying you, and you AND your parent(s) must work out a solution with the barn manager, just as you would with the principal if kids were bullying you at school. Guaranteed, if these girls met up with you individually, they wouldn't have the gall to bully you. Bullies are insecure cowards and should be treated in a decisive manner by the adults who are responsible for the smooth operation of the barn. It is bad business for them to allow this to go on; trust me.