getting married young?

Question

my bf asked me to marry him (im 19 hes 24)
do you think its a good idea to get married young or not? specific reasons please

Answer 1

if you two are truly in love then i would say go for it...i think young love is the best kind...it's built to last!

Answer 2

I find it interesting that you ask this question, why? Probably because you already know the answer. I got married very young, age 18. I wonder what my life would have been like had I waited and experienced a great deal more of life on my own. I missed out on college, my first apartment (alone), more dating, and quite frankly learning how to stand on my own two feet. I wish I had a nickel for everytime I thought I new everything when I was 19 years old. Truth is, I had along way to go. The one thing I tell my daughters all the time, is to know that you can take care of yourself first and foremost. Marriage can be an awesome thing, it can also be difficult and trying. I looked at other young people my age back then and they were back-packing through Europe, learning about themselves and deciding who they wanted to be. Everyone has learned different things about life in 19 years, you truly have to ask yourself if you have learned enough to make a marriage work. Even at 30 or at 40, people are still asking themselves that question. Think twice and think hard my dear.

Answer 3

You're too young. I don't think 24 is bad. However, 19 too young.

Between the ages of 18-22/23 are growing years. At 18, I was in high school, at 19-22 college. Now, at 23 I just got my first full time job. I could not imagine being tied down to marriage at 19. Just too young. I was too worried about finishing my English Paper, so I could go out later that night.

I worked, but for spending money. I could not have imagined working full-time, coming home, cooking dinner and doing laundry.............at 19. I definetly think I would have felt I missed out on my youth.

Even now at 23, it's a bit bittersweet. I'm really glad my life is settling into a routine (work M-F, weekends off, a salaried paycheck), as opposed to working as a waitress (Thursday-Friday Nights), wondering how much I'd make in tips in a night.

But, I still feel like I'm losing a big part of being young. I'm gaining more responsiblity. But, at least, I can say that I did "live" in the past. And that in college, I wasn't tied down to anything or anyone. I can't say I didn't experience those years to the fullest, b/c I did.

If I were married, I think I would have been resentful of my friend's who's lives were all about them and not "their marriage"

I can't wait to get married, but their is a time and place for it in life. Your early 20's is NOT the time.

Answer 4

Honestly..it's a role "a chance" My mom once told me that peoples ages and ideas of life change every 5 to ten years. so at 19 or 24 at 30 you may have different points of views on life and where you want to be and may feel differently once you get there. Example:at this age friends may be very important and in ten years the same friends you had at 19 or 24 may have changed drasticly, or your career or your life, maybe becoming a mom, that changes EVERYTHING. But if it is the real thing years ago when values existed there are people in your exact situation that have been married for fourty years. My dad once said any marriage that starts off in a courthouse ends up in a courthouse. Also make sure whoever you end up with loves you for you. Ask yourself is this really what you want? what do your friends and family say?

Answer 5

Nichole, I can only give you an example of what happened to me when I married at your age. My first wife and I were very young and truly believed that we were mature enough and wise enough with the world to wed at that age. She was pregnant and so this rushed the wedding up I suppose a couple of years. Anyway, we married while she had just turned 18 and I was going to turn 19 in a couple of months. We did marry and her folks were very unhappy with this union and had warned her but she did not listen. We had a child and when this young lad turned 2 years old we separated. For a number of years we did not get along that well after our marriage failed but we have since become very good friends. We now have a son that is aged 33 and 2 granddaughters so we are at a lot of family functions together. It is so nice today to be able to give her a hug and say hi and watch her and my current wife give each other a friendly hug and kiss. So in my opinion you age is indeed to tender to marry at. I do know of another couple that married at the same time as we did and they remain the only couple from that group of friends that hung around together that remain together to this day, so it can be done. But the fact is that you have much more of life to experience before settling down to the married life. Regardless, whatever decision you finally decide on I hope that you are happy with that decision and it is indeed the right decision for you at this time in your life.

Answer 6

There's no reason to rush, is there? But, if you've been together for a while, and know he's the one, and you really want to...go for it. This was the exact same age difference of my husband and I when we got married. People thought we were too young....I was, but he wasn't! He's about the average age of most people getting married. And, I've always been very mature for my age.

If you are planning on going to a professional school, though, you may want to consider waiting. I'm going to medical school next year, and marriage does add in a bit more to worry about. But, I'm perfectly happy, my husband is working and has a master's degree, and we didn't get divorced in a year like everyone thought (We've been married almost 3). I'm really glad I did...but if you feel you aren't ready, or are the least bit unsure, wait a while and have a good, long engagement. Good luck, and congrats.

Answer 7

I think it's a bad idea.

At 19, you haven't even begun to live your life yet. You have so many experiences and discoveries ahead of you - you need this time to discover who you are, and what you want out of life. If you really love him, by all means continue the relationship, but don't get married yet. If he's right for you, he'll still be there once you have matured and grown into yourself. You need to use this time in your life to really LIVE. Follow your dreams, and build your own identity as an amazing woman. Once you are in your late twenties/early thirties, I think marriage would be better. He will still love you and want to marry you when YOU are ready if he is the right one. There's no rush.

Answer 8

no i dont think it is a good idea...if it is meant to be it will just give it time..
i was married at 19 the first time.(notice i said the first time) and it was horrible..i realized that i didnt get to experience life and then had children and i am now 32 and really regretted that i had married so young..since then i have met a really great man and we just got married 3 months ago after dating for 4 1/2 years..i now know what it means to be "in love"

Answer 9

Search your heart, you know deep down what's right. I was engaged 2 different times in my 20's... I just got married at 34. I had different wants and needs then, I'm glad I waited. My husband was previously married at 24, two children later and divorced.
I have friends that have been married out of high school and are still together....
Take your time and you'll make the best decision for YOU.. Best of Luck!

Answer 10

How long have you been together?

There's no reason to rush into marriage. If you truly love each other what's the difference if you get married tomorrow or 3 years from now? I think it's best(I believe Dear Abby has the same idea) to wait until after you've finished college. If he really loves you then he can wait for marriage. Since you seem hesitant about it you should definitely wait.

Answer 11

Please do not. My mom was married 17 years old. She never dated at all. She didn't go to the parties or prom. She never experienced or had fun, or time for another guy. She wanted to get finished with high school and get a degree at university, but with a kid in the way, and being from another country and not speaking English, it was very difficult. Please have your fun, schooling and a degree to back you up just in case things do not work. It is essential.
Just think about it. What if you have to depend on every single dime from him, are stuck at home with children, can't do anything? Then what? Is this the life you truly envision.
If so, blessings.