So i am ruining my marriage..i am very insecure about the way I look and I always am thinking that my husband would rather be with someone else that looks better and last night a friend had text me this pic of the olsen twins topless and my hubby always makes fun of them so i thought i would forward it to him and told him to erase it when he was done looking at it..so i got home and asked if he had erased it he said no because he wanted to show his buddies at work..which i was fine with well when i went to go plug in the phones for the night i saw he had a text so i thought it was me and i was going to check it..well i clicked on the sent and not the inbox and saw he sent it to his work phone..when i woke him up i confronted him about it and he told me it was cuz he wanted to show his friends which didnt make sense because the pic was on his personal phone and why couldnt he show them on that?? so I freaked out on him called him a liar and that he was just trying to hide it from me...
2007-10-10 09:40:14 · 16 answers · asked by Tiffany R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so i would think he got rid of it when he didnt..well the pic he sent to his work phone couldnt go through so he didnt have it on there..i was livid and we got into a huge fight..i dont know what to do i hate being insecure like this and i am just pushing him away and making him want to leave and i dont want to lose him but i dont know what to do to make me feel better about myself any suggestions?? thank you in advance for your answers
2007-10-10 09:42:21 · update #1
I know I sent him the pic...but he said that he would erase it and it looked very much like he was trying to hide it from me by lying about why he hadnt erase it right away bcuz he had tried to send it to another phone and not tell me about it
2007-10-10 09:56:50 · update #2
I understand exactly how you feel. I was exactly the same way. I was very insecure about myself and always thought the worse. We separated for a while and during that time, I had time to think about what I was doing and how much I was loosing. What helped me the most was to get close to God. I know a lot of people think this doesn't work, but it gives you peace of mind. I pray to him everyday to help me in my marriage and help me not have those thoughts in my mind anymore. Anytime I think about saying something dumb like that I think about how much it's going to affect my marriage. I try to not provide my husband with stuff that I know will make me upset and he knows exactly how I feel about stuff like porn and such.
Another thing that has helped me a lot is to try to keep myself in shape and fix myself up when I go out. This helps me feel good about myself and when I'm with him I know that I look good and he has no reason to look somewhere else. I'm not going to lie to you, I've caught him looking around, but I try very, very hard to not say anything.
"A peaceful heart gives life to the body. But jealousy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30 (New International Reader's Version)
2007-10-10 10:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by why ask 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are there any reasons as to why you are insecure? Bad relationships in the past that involved cheating? Whatever the case, marriage takes a lot of commitment and trust with one another. You need to trust your hubby in that sometimes he just likes doing guy things and it can be completely innocent. Also, have a talk with your hubby about your feelings of insecurities. Tell him how you feel and what triggers these emotions. Perhaps the both of you can work on your insecurities together. =)
2007-10-10 16:48:06 · answer #2 · answered by **Mystica** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop worrying about the way you look and do some things to raise your confidence whether that is to get some counseling, join a daytime women's bowling team or even use the internet to learn a new language. If he is saying things to you that bring your self-esteem down, like comparing you to other women, that is or can be considered abuse, physical or not and that is what is hurting the marriage and you both need the counseling to make the marriage work. outward appearance is similar to ornaments on a Christmas tree, perhaps nice to look at but not as important as the tree itself.
2007-10-10 17:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are going way overboard. You sent him the pic (I don't understand why you are mad)
Why would you send your husband a pic of the topless twins knowing you are insecure of how you look and would probably get mad if he made some kind of remark that suggested that the pic was good eye candy? let alone not wanting to delete it off his phone
Its good that you acknowledge that you are insecure, but you really need to try therapy to get over your insecurities otherwise it could ultimately destroy your marriage.
2007-10-10 20:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by happytree 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you really are insecure, as you say, why would you ever mail your husband a picture like that? I mean think about it, if it is something that is going to make you feel jealous or angry don't share it with him. Take pics of yourself and let him see those instead.
2007-10-10 16:51:46 · answer #5 · answered by kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I want to understand this but fear I cannot.
Why would you be upset because he sent such a photo to his WORK PHONE?
Who do you think he show's that to?
Sure it could get him fired if the wrong person got it but why are you angry?
I really do not understand why you would send him something like this and be upset when he sends it on.
WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?
2007-10-10 17:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun it's good that you know this is your prob. but it also makes it his problem as you are his wife.
First off you need to talk to him about you insecurites about your looks. And apoligize for the picture argument. It's not worth it.
You really shouldn't do things like that to yourself. The only naked pic of a woman I sent to my hubby was of me. When he was overnight at the firehouse. ;)
He enjoyed it I liked feeling desired... And he gives me that feeling. You must talk to your hubby, and cool your jets, it'll be okay.
2007-10-10 16:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Katrina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go speak with a professional about they way you feel about your self ,not saying you are crazy but you are fighting with yourself for one reason or another ..... If you say that you are OK with sending the photo to your husband then why aren't you OK with him leaving it on his phone and letting him decide what he wants to do with it ? Go find some one to speak with and help you resolve what ever is eating you up inside , you are going to feel a thousand times better about you !!!!!
2007-10-10 16:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by maryl_a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really think that you should find someone to talk to about your insecurity, but you are right that if you keep bringing things up like the picture that you are pushing him away.
2007-10-10 16:47:32 · answer #9 · answered by Bad_Kity 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have to trust yourself AND him!
Don't make it a bigger deal than it really is...You are supposed to share things together!Don't make him feel that he is under supervision all the time...Men need to feel free-otherwise, they feel trapped!
My grandmother used to say.." feed" your husband sexually and emotionally and THEN, let him free!!! He won't be able to look for any " food" around cause, he is already "full" and happy!
Make them happy, girls and...set them free! That's the secret!
My father used to tell my mother..." Don't put me in a cage as if I were a bird:let me free to do so myself!!."
Good luck!
2007-10-10 16:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by Aphrodite G 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋