Best friend of the opposite sex?

Question

I was wondering if anyone here has a best friend of the opposite sex and if so how close are you?

Are you close to the extent that people who don't know you often mistake you for a couple?
If they do is that because you're physically close ie you hug alot and are just generally physically intimate.

How would you feel if you started seeing someone who had a friend this close? Would it bother you at all or could you understand the relationship is platonic.

Opinions please...

Ok the scenario...
Two people 1 girl, 1 boy, both straight, both single, are best friends. They hug, sit on each others laps, massage each other etc...
If you didn't know them you would assume they were a couple.
They both insist they're just very good friends, almost like brother and sister.

Do you think that this kind of closeness would ruin their chances of meeting other partners?
If you started seeing someone with a relationship like this would you feel insecure at all and threatened?

Answer 1

Well my best friend Matt is one of those friends. When i lived near him, him and i were inseperable. We did everything together and even slept over at each others houses. i still had boyfriends. they would just have to accept him being in the picture though. he eventually turned out to be gay but i still love him and he is still my best friend. we did hug and mess around but it was never anything more than friends and there was never an intimate moment. everyone thought we were together and that he was in love with me. but my views on this are that it is SOOO OK for opposite sexes to be best friends.

Answer 2

My best friend is a guy. It's ok to have a guy friend but it stops being platonic if your sitting on each others laps and being physical with each other. I would not date someone as close as you said yall are. My friend and I are really close and the only time we hug is when we first see each other and when he leaves. That is all the physical contact we make.

Answer 3

EDIT: I won't delete my original reply, but this "friendship" you are now talking about is actually a little over the top for a "friendship" it appears that this boy and this girl may BOTH have feelings and not want to admit it. It's a serious setup for a 3rd person to get really hurt, even maybe 10 years down the road.

If you are the girl 'friend' try to be less touchy feely or have a heart to heart with the guy 'friend' to sort out how you both really feel.

If you are considering seeing/dating a guy in this situation- just don't do it. Jealousy will get the better of you because they ARE all over each other. You will end up hurt, and most likely cheated on.

Remember- We can't help who we fall in love with. Even if they don't know it's love now, when they grow up- they might discover it was love all along.

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ORIGINAL POST:


I have a guy friend who is one of my bestest friends. I was leary to introduce my boyfriend to him thinking my new boyfriend would be jealous.

We don't hug or hold hands, he treats me like one of the guys, I talk to him about chick stuff, and he doesn't care. We have been friends for over 13 years!! We have kids the same age and everything.

When my boyfriend met my friend, I just left them alone to chat it up. They found a lot in common.

This was 3 years ago. My 'boyfriend' is now my husband, and my friend is now my husbands best friend.

There was no jealousy because there was no reason to be. I was open with my husband about my friend, and my husband was understanding that I had had this friend since I was a kid.

Sometimes when all of us are out though, I think people think I might have 2 husbands and 2 kids (I'm not public touchy feely so I treat the guys both the same)... but only one man and one kid are mine.

Answer 4

You don't hug a "friend" alot. You are not physically intimate with a friend. There is a line between friendship and dating. You might hug a friend when you first see them or good bye, but you don't hang on a friend, sit in their lap or anything like that.

Answer 5

I do have very close friends of the opposite sex, and with one of them everyone thought we were going out. Also everyone now tells me that me and another of my close friends should go out, but I know that would never happen coz I'm too close to them!

If my partner had a close friend of the opposite sex, I would not care one bit. Most people do have close friendships, and even if it is with someone of the opposite sex, it dosent matter.

Answer 6

i had a friend like this. i am now engaged and we have drifted apart sice then.
we hung out every day. we were always out at the bar together. i was at his house constantly just watching movies.
i think people did think that maybe we were a couple. we hugged sometimes but not so much. i think people just thought that because we were always talking and laughing with each other.
my soon to be husband was jealous of him when we first got together. i would asure him nothing was going on between us.
now, he is fine with my friend, but like i said, we only see each other so often now.

Answer 7

I do actually!
He is like my best friend we spend the night 2gether, hang out and call eachother all the time!
He is just a friend though and i would never think of dating him.
Peps think i date him sometimes yes we hug but we knoe that we are just friends.
If you like this person enough yeah of course
"reach for the moon cause the worst you can do is hit the stars"

Answer 8

I have been VERY close friends with several men...and in some instances we've been mistaken for a couple.

As for the dating, I guess when my friend and I each started dating outside our circle of friends, it was kind of difficult; it wasn't jealousy exactly...it was kind of something like worry that I'd have to break the b!tch's legs if she broke my friend's heart sort of feeling....protective??? But we're still very close.

Answer 9

this kind of friendship will often ruin a relationship with a love interest as it will create jealousy.

friendship is very important as is a physical relationship but if your that close to someone, maybe that friendship should grow into more

Answer 10

It would depend if you thought they were having sex or not, or if it was just a platonic relationship. And, by the way, you did not mention if the best friend was straight or gay, and male or female. These variables might make a difference.