Ladies, guys too, what are your opinions please?

Question

This is a question that might make someone uncomfortable, but I would like input from the over 50 people.

I have known this for a long time, that I am apparently hopelesly old fashioned and out of date with today's moral standards.

HOW do the rest of you deal with this? Are you on board with what is "expected" and accepted in the dating world?

It seems that today a woman meets a guy, and within a few hours is giving him a BJ. No one seems to bat any eye over this. I find it horrifying and disgusting.

I dont even like kissing a "stranger" you just met !

I have no wish, desire and simply cannot could not bring myself to fit into this "service mentality" so many woman seem to have today.

To me oral sex is an extremely intimate thing, and I find it disgusting to even think about anyone and everyone --- well dammit to me its just disrespecting yourself. I cant see ever fitting into the "new dating scene".

Thoughts? Opinions? Anyone?

Men my age are dating much younger women and seem to now feel this is "normal and expected" behavior.

I am from a different generation. My mind doesnt go there, and neither does the rest of the required body parts.

Am I just hopelessly out of date and destined to not date or have a relationship because of it?

When I was younger we had a word for women like that :-(

Ok I have another thing to say here, VIAGRA. Older men are being told by the media and whomever that they need to take viagra to "get back into the game". I dont know about you other ladies but I dont want an energizer bunny in the bedroom - if you need it for dysfunction fine, but just so you can "go all day" ? No thanks. IMO making love begins long before you hit the sack, and goes on long after the deed is done. Its talking, respecting each other, getting to know what each of you think and feel - walking on the beach, whatever. Its NOT just doing the deed, and how often you can do it.

I am so out of date. Casual sex is just not for me. As in "yah thanks see you around". What is that?

I have asked my son to explain this new morality to me but he cant, not so that I understand it anyhow. :-(

LOL I keep adding to this, didnt have enough room to put in not just oral sex, though thats the rant I am am now, I mean even sex. If you wouldnt lend someone your car why the hell would you lend them your body to have their fun with?

And Libras need to be seduced via the mind, intellectually, before we consider it. Its hard to find a truly intellectual man because so many seem to be on the prowl and if they dont figure you are easy pickings they move on to someone they think is.

Answer 1

I've been out of the dating game for over 50 years, but in my opinion, there is nothing old fashioned about being classy and virtuous. Period.

Answer 2

I think it goes back to that "I didn't have sex with that woman" mentality.
I was bought up a Catholic and I'm sorry but I have high morals. I would never consider that as an option. I would also ask for a blood test to make sure that they do not have any STD's. before sex was even considered. Who know where or with who the other person has been.
Too many young people these days do not consider this a problem and that is why our society is so screwed up. I need to have communication and understanding and at least some mutual feelings for a person and some kind of relationship with another person, before I would consider having sex with them I could never play the friends with benefits game. More power to you. I am sure that there are many men out there that feel the same way that you do and if they don't, pass them up and move on. They are not worth it. Are women that desperate for a man that they will reduce themselves to a hunk of meat?

Answer 3

Isotope! I am turning 25 this week and I am SO with you on this issue lol
I am a liberal yet modest person, not religous or anything obvious lol
I will admit I have a partner but we have had ups and downs and 2 break ups LOL but during that time I was single and I certainly wouldn't want to be on the dating scene now a days!
My sister is dating and the stories she tells me...OMG!!!
I have never done a one night stand or would "do" some guy lol or give some bloke a BJ.
I am a liberal Libran woman but I do respect myself. I think if one chooses to be open,easy and giving out service then that's fine as long as she knows what she is getting for that...
and giving some first date bloke a BJ is not a healthy thing if you want a real man and a serious future.

I do NOT think your old fashioned or out dated!
You have morals, respect and your clearly in control of your body and how you use it!! That to me is an independant free thinking MODERN woman, your not just some sex object (unless of course one wants to be :0)
P.s yes I agree oral is a very intimate thing and I for one only reserve that for a long term B.F or partner!!!!

Answer 4

As Southern Comfort said there is some one out there for everyone or almost everyone. I haven't had a date in over 30 years. I would probably be lost in the dating scene. But even when I did date I was old fashioned. It has to mean something. The perfect woman to me is one who has a mind and is willing or more than willing to use it. Great conversation on a variety of subject is good. Sex in one night is not. Never has been in my book. If a woman wanted something like that it would demean me, let alone her. I can see and hear of it happening all the time today, but don't ask me or beg me to indulge, I cannot do something so trite. I agree with everyone here on most of what has been said too.

Answer 5

I know how old you are, and it's a lot younger than I, and I've always felt the way you do. Intimacy is a very private thing for me.

It's not something I discuss at all, unless it's to get a rise out of my daughter, when she calls and asks if she interrupted anything, and I'll say, "As a matter of fact, yes."

I think the brazenness you encounter is the result of no-holds-barred television, because on so many shows total strangers fall in the hay unprotected and uncaring. Ooh, scary! The potential consequences of such behavior are frightening.

And, yes, I think self-respect is on a leave of absence.

Edit. -- I'm a bull-headed Taurus.

Answer 6

I've read all of the answers above and am in total agreement.
And, I'm in total agreement with you.

Today's generation, although it started with our's back in the 60's with "free love", knows very little of principals and values. Their parents either didn't have good command of them, or didn't teach them. One other thing comes to mind also, the children WERE taught and made the choice to act otherwise. Back when we were kids, if a parent had asked a minor to move in with them to "service" them, someone would have immediately gone to the police. Those were days when morals meant something.

Today, we either have our morals and principals, or we don't. We either respect ourselves, or we don't. We either have clean minds, or we don't. We choose, no one else chooses for us. That's what really makes us adults.

We've gone through the years, gaining our knowledge and everyday wisdom. Looking around to see what's become of our society and how vastly it's changed morally. I hear, almost daily about sex happening in the closets at schools and I wonder about the abilities in the classroom and what they're being taught not only at school, but at home.

Folks nowadays have taken away the sense of beauty, in the name of sex. There's no longer the time of getting to know someone, doing things together and one day waking up to realize that you are in love with them. It's all wham, bam, thank you maam, and they're off to the next one. That's why AIDS and HIV have spread at such a high rate, and it's spreading like wildfire in the Senior population.

I can honestly say I have my sense of self-worth intact. I thank God that I was taught good moral values and they were deeply instilled.

I realize that some will say "Oh, she's just an old foggy", I do not care. This "old foggy" won't end up with HIV/AIDS or any other STD.

I want the real stuff when it comes to sex, and that means being truly in love and married to the man in bed next to me.

Answer 7

When I was growing up in the fifties and early sixties sex was for married couples. God forbid a girl became pregnant before marriage. I can't rid myself of my early training. I think casual sex is out of line. Young people think nothing of having sex on a first date. Y/A is full of questions asking "can I be pregnant?" My boyfriend and I did so and so. It seems now that sex has become part of a date. It's expected. Love doesn't figure into it anymore. It's no wonder that STDs, abortion, and the number of unwed mothers is on the rise. I have no problem with couples who are in love having sex after being together for several months. I do have a problem with casual sex.

Answer 8

I've not hit 50 yet, I'm 49. And I'm married...however, many of my friends are single. You are not out of date.

I absolutely agree with this:
"I dont know about you other ladies but I dont want an energizer bunny in the bedroom - if you need it for dysfunction fine, but just so you can "go all day" ? No thanks. IMO making love begins long before you hit the sack, and goes on long after the deed is done."

Answer 9

Hi Yank, Yes i do like nice guys and you are right they are getting rare to find. Who wants a guy who only wants what he can get and that's what is mostly out there anymore.A nice guy is a keeper and who doesn't want a nice guy,they treat you like a lady the way a woman should be treated and they derserve the same treatment back My Friend. Respect and trust is the main thing in a relationship. Your Friend, poppy1

Answer 10

Dear Isotope, as a man, may I reassure you that you are not hopelessly old fashioned. Just remember that 99.99% of what some men say they do or get done to them is wishful thinking and bar room boasting. You are right to reserve yourself for whomever you regard as the right man and believe you me he will be grateful to find a person such as yourself. There are certain things of an intimate nature that many people would never consider, and what you mention would be low or non existant on many peoples list of activities. I agree with what Iritadragon has said, that it is better to be alone on your porch than be there with the wrong person.More people than you might think share your values.Best wishes.

Answer 11

Yes you are definitely old-fashioned... but that's not necessarily a bad thing! I like your idea of 'service mentality' as that is exactly what women are doing these days. They are servicing men's desires. Personally- I will not commit to any woman simply because of this 'service mentality'. As the saying goes- 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Although we will always deny it- men judge a woman's virtue by how quickly she gives in and allows herself to be seduced. The way I look at it- if I can seduce a woman in less than 5 dates- how could I possibly expect her to be loyal to me for a lifetime? With that said... out of more than 40+ women I've dated... only 1 woman held out past 5 dates. I almost married her.