i would even love if the father had no visitation rights, he doesn't help and doesn't ask to see her. he goes out every night and party's i hear horrible things about what he does. he doesn't have a job and wont get one no matter how many times i ask him to help. i just want him out of my life is that even possible?
2007-10-10 07:41:37 · 15 answers · asked by Jessica S 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
btw he doesn't want to see her but his parents and grandparents are forcing him to be a part of her life just so they get to see her its frustrating
2007-10-10 08:21:01 · update #1
First of all, do NOT listen to the person who said not to go to court and "if it ain't broke don't fix it" Ignorant. You do have to go to court. If you don't the father can decide to take that baby at any time and run with her. If neither of you have LEGAL custody then he can do it at any time and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it. It's not considered kidnapping because you don't have custody. It is though if you do have custody of the child.
You need to get to court right away. Every day you don't you are giving him the chance to take her away from you. I know you don't want that.
Trust me this is all true. My daughter's father didn't see her for two years. All of a sudden he calls and wants to see her. I let him take her for an afternoon. I didn't see her again for four long, painful years. He did horrible things to her too. Don't let that happen to you and your baby. The only reason I got my daughter back was because someone reported him for abuse and they sent her to me. He never got into trouble for taking her though.
You can call your local legal aid and they can help you do what needs to be done. Don't just sit back and do nothing. You may think he doesn't want her but his parents may convince him to take her. Get a judgement. Don't let it happen to you!
2007-10-10 08:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could fight for full custody. Usually this isn't granted or taken into consideration by a Judge until the courts have tried to work with him for about 18 months to see if he want's to be an active part of the childs life, pays child support and follows the orders set by the court.
After 18 months, if he hasn't complied with the courts orders, then they will allow you to try for full custody. Once you do get full custody, you are no longer entitled to child support.
That is how it works in my state anyways.
2007-10-10 07:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by luckystar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do would be to have him sign his rights away. The negative is that you can’t ask him for child support as he would legally not be the child’s father anymore. Then again if he has no stable job you wouldn’t be getting support anyways. It seems both you girls can do better then this bloke. I’m sure you will find a fine man one day who will love and want to be a daddy to your little girl.
You could also decide to include the baby’s parental grandparents/family in her life if they want to be. If your ok with that.
2007-10-10 12:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can understand your frustration. yes you can file for full custody and dosnt sound like you will have a hard time getting it. While you are filling for custody put a maintenance order in place, dont get him to sign his rights over. If you get a child support order, it will just add up every month so then when he does decide to get a job they will start deducting the money he owes you past and present and you will have support. If he dosnt pay, they will start taking away things, drivers licence, personal property etc. Give him a chance to grow up, you have to realize he is still a kid but if you take away his rights now, thats it, you get squat from him for the rest of your childs life and that isnt always a good thing. He may change his ways shortly and your child deserves a chance to have a dad even if it takes him 5 years to grow up, its better late then never.
2007-10-10 08:22:20 · answer #4 · answered by louie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is possible,
you need to prove to the court that you are capable to take care of the child and that the father is unfit, or have the dad tell the court that he doesn't want anything to do with the child.
since the grandparents do want to be involved, if you don't have a problem with them you might want to say you will allow them to have visitation rights every week or every other week. But I wouldn't cut them out because then they might fight for custody of the child as well.
2007-10-10 08:58:38 · answer #5 · answered by treppab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet it is. Get yourself a social worker, or a lawyer (a social worker will help you get a court appointed lawyer if needed) and file for full custody.
If you want him out of your life completely have him sign off on all paternal rights. But once that happens you need to realize that you cannot set up a court order for child support.
There are PLENTY of decent men who WANT a wife and baby, and WANT to treat them right and love them. You and that child are more than worth that. Get rid of this loser and get out in the real world and find a real man.
2007-10-10 07:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you. But your baby can use all the family she can get. Don't cut his parents and grandparents out. It may be a pain to have them bugging you now, but when she's a little older she will love attention from all the grandmas and grandpas she can get. Even more so since you're going to be a single mom.
You might try talking to them and saying, I want my baby to have lots of family in her life. But obviously _______(the father) isn't ready to be family so I'm glad to have you visit her, baby sit her ect, as long as you stop pushing him to be a father.
As a single mom you'll appreciate the extra babysiitng help, and the extra birth day gifts.
Don't cut them out of her life if you can help it.
2007-10-10 11:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by pansyblue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can get sole custody, and child support if he ever gets a job, but be careful that you don't take a family away from your daughter. Even if he is a schmuck--there are Grandparents there who could offer lots to a child-especially if they are willing to pursue a relationship with your little girl. It's about what is best for your daughter. Unfortunately, you shouldn't have babies with people you don't want to ever have to deal with again.(speaking from experience)
2007-10-10 08:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by angmay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you think you're going to get child support if he has no job and already shirks his responsibility. Look up laws and find out how you can have full custody but don't be expecting any child support, even if the court says he has to pay any.
2007-10-10 08:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Manny 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to court for the custody battle and the child support office from your local town for the child support.
2016-05-21 00:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by eva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋