well im 19 and have had a good life except i suffer with anorexia and bulimia (since i was 15) but all i can think about is babies. i really want one!!! Most of my friends got babies, some wernt planned but they love being parents. I think that a baby will help me get over my anorexia and bulimia cos thats all i have ever wanted, i love them and i know they cry alot and need a lot of attention and i dont mind giving up my time for a child to be in my life. Do you think that i am stable enough to have children yet? do u think it will cure my illness if i know i got to eat for 9 months due to carrying a child? Just want a bit of advice.......
2007-10-10 07:20:22 · 12 answers · asked by chazio 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
i dont take anything to heart, so i would rather people tell me their honest opinions x and thanks for those who do i appreiate it a lot x
2007-10-10 07:30:32 · update #1
i just want to be over this, for me to feel comfortable in my own skin like i was before my illness, and sometimes i think yes i will eat today but wen i do i regret it and purge. why is life so hard... i know they say first step is talkin about it but i always have been able to, i want to do many things in life like counsil people with the same disorder but i cant do it, and my doctor is so crap i went up there for help at 7 n half stone and being 5'6 they said they cant help me till im 6 stone, i will be dead then i duno what can help these days im good at helping others but cant help myself...i want to speak to some 1 who knows alot about the illness but not on here lyk on msn or something were it is private ...GOD I WISH I WAS DEAD SOME TIMES
2007-10-10 07:38:18 · update #2
and to let you know i aint tryin for a baby. just looking for info
2007-10-10 07:52:04 · update #3
I actually know a girl who was anorexic and pregnant. Her baby was born with a weak heart. She's 2 now, but she still has so many issues, and the mom is still battling food problems. It's heartbreaking. Thank heaven the grandmom is around to help! :(
Lovie, don't do it, unless you're 100% well. You don't want your baby to be sick. :-( Worry about yourself first, it's a lot of responsibility to worry about yourself and a sick baby.
2007-10-10 07:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by Amber May ♥ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe that most people who have children will tell you that you don't really know what it's like until you actually have one. Every kid is different and although you know people with kids or may have even babysat, you don't get the full experience until you are a parent yourself. Having a child should be a self-inherent decision. What I mean is that you should want to have a baby only because you want to have a child. There should be no extrinsic motivation, just the desire to nurture and raise another human being. Getting pregnant is easy. What is difficult is raising a child. You say you are ready for the time committment, but you have to also be prepared in case your child (God forbid) comes into the world with special needs. Your question reminds me those couples who are having marital problems and believe that having a kid (or another kid if they already had children) will fix their marriage. Those people usually end up divorced faster than if they had not added the new child. As wonderful and loving as kids can be, they can also drain you physically and at times emotionally. Remember, at the beginning of life they depend on you for everything, and that can be overwhealming for some people. You need to take care of yourself before you decide that someone can be taken care of by you. Anorexia and bulimia are serious illinesses, as you well know. You should ask yourself who would take care of your baby if your condition worsens. A pregnancy will not cure your illness, only sound psychological counseling will lead you in the right direction. Ask one of your friends to be completely honest with you, reassure them that you won't take their comments personally, and ask them to tell you their honest frustrations about having kids. In other words, you know all the cute stories, now ask for the real dirty-diaper, throw-up in your clothes before work, crying at 2:30 AM-type stories. Good luck!
2007-10-10 14:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by cjtorresg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are looking for a blunt answer. You are not physically ready, nor are you mentally ready. If you aren't responsible enough to take care of yourself properly than you are not ready to be responsible for a child. It's very selfish of you to even think about an adult decision such as this. You are 19 with the mentality of a 16 year old. Don't take offense....this all sounds mean but I'm not trying to be mean. I want you to be realistic and mature when you make decisions in your life, especially when you want to subject an innocent child into your world. Children do not fix problems, they add to them. If you aren't mentally stable....and you are not....then having a child should be the furthest thing from your mind. Try getting some professional help with your illness before making a decision that requires a strong, healthy, mentally stable person.
Good Luck....I apologize if I was harsh....but I think you needed it.
2007-10-10 14:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by mrsdeli 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you are already want one, but do you think you are enough age or time and finance to take care the baby because take care the baby is not easy ever you have good relationship. keeping your mind to think you will having the baby in the future so need to keep your body health as well as you can, in case you are not in good health to carry the bady is not good for the baby. Carry baby need to been health body if you miss something will effect to your baby when you are during the pregnancy. Don't think the wrong way there are many think in the world you never see. I think the pregnancy time is around 21-25 years old or little older but not over too much. God bless you!
2007-10-10 15:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that you will be healthy and not act in a bulemic or anorexic manner while pregnant - some people, myself included, sometimes find it easier to do things for their children than they do for themselves.
However, why chance it? Do you really want to take that risk of serious, permanent damage to yourself? To your child? What is generally suggested and most often true (though not in all instances) is that if you can't do it for ten months before pregnancy, you can't do it for the ten months of pregnancy.
It's also not good to put adult issues onto a child - something to think about.
If you are still convinced now is the time, PLEASE see a doc to find out if it is even possible. It may not be possible for you to get pregnant or carry a baby full term until a little healthier. I'm betting he/she will be happy to help you get to the point of having a baby if that's what it will take to get you healthier again - but will probably advise you to use that as your goal to work for, not get pregnant now.
Good luck! (:
2007-10-10 14:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by Hoosier Mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby will not cure you. If anything, it would just act as a "band-aid" for a while, if it did anything at all. You need to address the underlying issues that lead to your illness. Try talking to a therapist or eating disorder specialist. Get yourself healthy and then think about having a baby. Good luck to you.
2007-10-10 14:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't have a baby for the reasons you list. A baby is a person. It deserves to have a healthy mom and a dad also.
Maybe you could get a puppy. Or kitten. I understand the desire to nurture (take care of something small and helpless) but if you read your question over again you'll see you're not mature enough to be a mom.
You need to work on your own life first.
2007-10-10 14:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by pansyblue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is never a solution to any problem!! Especially not a health problem. i do not think you are stable enough.. im sorry...along with your health... are you financially able? do you have a significant other? Also the less nutrients you have in your body.. the worse off your baby wiill be... wait until you want a baby because you want a family and are rady for the responsibility or somone else..not cause you want to solve an eating disorder. good luck..
2007-10-10 14:28:01 · answer #8 · answered by hopefulmommy22 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you married? How will you support this baby? Having a baby is not going to cure you. What makes you think you're going to eat right if you've been starving yourself so far? Are you seeing a psychiatrist? He or she would be the best advisor for you. Don't jump into anything...you're very young and have a lot of life ahead of you.
2007-10-10 14:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by Debdeb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Asking a baby to cure your condition is an awful burdon to put on that child. You are the only one who can cure yourself with the help of a good therapist. In fact, having a baby could make your condition worse because of your changing body. You could also seriously harm the fetus by not getting enough nutrition.
I can completely understand your desire to have a child. But, you asked my opinion so I can giving it. You should wait to have a child until you are sure that you are cured. You owe it to the child.
2007-10-10 14:26:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋