I'm 19 and I did a pregnancy test and found out that I am about 5 months pregnant. I talked about the options with my boyfriend. I'm leaning more towards an abortion because this was accidental in the first place, I don't know how to tell my parents, I'm in college, the timing is really bad and I don't want my family to just see my boyfriend as "the guy who got me pregnant at 19". (I've been with him for more than 2 years now). He is supporting me in whatever decision i make, but I'm personally just having second thought about this. I know it's normal, but i would appreciate help from anyone who's had an abortion or was close to one, or just any advice at all.
2007-10-10 06:18:45 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
SORRY THAT WAS A MISTAKE!
im 5 WEEKS, not 5 MONTHS!!
2007-10-10 06:27:40 · update #1
Yes You SHOULD keep it. There are a lot of women out there TRYING to have a baby ! and they can't! And women like me!! who had miscarriages. Think about it.
A baby is a blessing ......Good luck
(2 miscarriages)
2007-10-10 06:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by NELP G 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First off, abortion is no longer an option for you. Woman can not have second trimester abortions unless the mothers life depends on it. Since you are 5 months along, you are well into your second trimester. Now you do still have the option of adoption. If you feel like you can't give the life and love the child deserves then adoption might be the answer because they are many over-qualified couples who would love nothing more than a baby. On the other hand if you think you can provide the baby with a steady home and loving enviroment it can be done. I was in you same situaton 2 years ago. I was 19 and pregnant by my BF of 2 years. I choose to keep my son and am now married. I am extremely happy. Now, things aren't always easy. I see my friends with "freedom" but dont long for it. A healthy and happy child and relationship is so much more fulfiling then the "party" life I once had. Its your decesion obviously but research all your options. Good luck!!!
2007-10-10 06:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by sara_polo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want the baby i suggest giving it up for adoption. Because think of all the people that wish they could have kids but can't. I watched on the discovery channel seeing 3 different women getting these IVF treatments and they kept being unsucessful that is so sad. Also, Im sure after the abortion if you choose to end up getting one will have a long lasting effect on you for the rest of your life. Im sure there will not be a day that goes by that you won't think about your child you'll see other children in the park or somewhere and you'll think of your child would it have been a boy or a girl? What would it have looked like etc. Please don't feel pressured into an abortion. I got pregnant with my son at the age of 18 had my son at 19 and i can't imagine what it would be like without him. Your bf seems like a man because he's not walking away from you or the baby.
2007-10-10 06:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. Firstly, how sure are you of your dates? You say 5 months pregnant? You sure you don't mean 5 weeks? If it's 5 months abortion is out of the question - it's just too late. If it's 5 weeks, it really comes down to your own beliefs and following your own moral compass (not someone elses). Adoption is also an option, although I think that takes a lot more courage than any other option. I don't know if I could be selfless enough to give my baby to someone else, but in some cases is the best thing to do for everyone involved.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you :)
2007-10-10 06:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by soconfused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had an abortion and I regret it deeply. I was not too far away from your age and thought I had no other options. For me, it was a mistake trying to fix another mistake and I had no idea how it would affect my life. Please look into all the options. There is open adoption where you can meet the parents if you are not ready for a baby. Please get an ultrasound to see this is not a clump of cells. At the minimum it will help you make a completely informed decision.
My heart breaks for the stress that you must be under, but I want you to be completely aware that this is not a quick procedure and then you never think about it again. Nobody told me about post abortion stress syndrome or having an ultrasound or anything I'm telling you
2007-10-10 06:33:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why did it take you so long to take the pregnancy test? At this point, you may as well keep the baby and start prenatal care immediately. It's time to be an adult and tell your parents. If you are covered by your parents' insurance and get the abortion procedure done, your parents will find out about it anyway because the insurance company send out statements. Being so far in your pregnancy, you could run the risk of serious injury to yourself and most doctors/clinics won't even do the abortion procedure. Since you claim that your boyfriend will support you in any decision you make, then he will be a man and take care of his pending responsibility. If you still choose not to keep the baby, then I would suggest putting the baby up for adoption.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
2007-10-10 06:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by ladyhawk_1998 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My first piece of advice is not to ask for advice about abortion on Yahoo Answers. This is a HUGE decision and YOU are the one who is going to be directly affected by it - it's really easy for people around here to see only "teen pregnancy" and then tell you to "get rid of it" from the comfort of their computer chairs. Many, many women suffer emotionally (and some physically) for the rest of their lives after having an abortion, especially when they eventually start a family. They don't often speak up about it because society tells them not to feel bad about it. But it happens. Abortion is not the easy way out that it seems to be. If you are having second thoughts, it's probably your conscience telling you that you don't really want to make that decision. Consider adoption. It's not the baby's fault that the timing is bad and that you don't want to face your parents about it.
2007-10-10 06:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.P 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are leaning on having an abortion you better do it as soon as possible because it's not safe to have one after about 24.5 weeks. I was 19yrs old when I had my daughter and I love her very much. I was also in college and that was also hard. I however had lots of support and was able to complete my education. Kids are beautiful and only you know what you want to do. Don't worry about what other's may think do what you feel is best for you becuase in the end you are the only one that has to live with that decision. Good luck and keep your head up because no matter what you are still a good person. Don't let no one else tell you different. People make mistakes and that's the truth.
2007-10-10 06:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by tootsiebrownie 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Okay, first of all at the age of 21 I gave birth to a child out of wedlock (I'm now 59), (so I kind of know where you are coming from). I gave her up for adoption. Several years ago we connected; big mistake. Rough road this one.
Even at five weeks, I'd advise against having an abortion. (I've seen the trauma friends have gone through who've had one.) Make sure you begin receiving counseling. Have the baby. Whether or not you keep your child or give him/her up for adoption is ultimately your decision. Please get counseling, I wish it would have been available to me.
Something to realize about abortions, should you decide later to have a child, it "could" make it harder for your to become pregnant. I'm not saying you can't become pregnant, I'm saying that it "might" make it more difficult for you to become a mother.
Tell you parents now. Don't put it off.
Start using birth control.
2007-10-10 06:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by Barry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing to do is what's best for you. In most states they only do abortion up to the 4th month.
I was pregnant at 15 had my son when I was 16. I HAVE NO REGRETS...I'M 21 NOW. My son is about to be 5 soon.
To be honest my son saved my life. I don't know if this helps you in any way but I don't think I could bare to live my life without him.
Talk to your parents at least you aren't under age. Explain to them AFTER you make your decision.
It will be one of the hardest things you have ever done in your life no bs. But also one of the most greatess parts of life you could ever experience. Take it from me I'm good My son is five. I have a good job, a nice car and my own apartment.
It is a hard hard decision but I wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-10 06:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are five months pregnant it is too late to have an abortion the baby is already developed enough to know the sex. and i have never had an abortion but it was one option with my last pregnancy. i would say if you really are sure you don't want the baby there are so many people in the world who want kids and cant have them so i would consider adoption. i ending up having my baby and i am glad that i kept him because he is wonderful. i am against abortion for myself so my options were keeping him or adoption. it is good that your boyfriend is supporting you on whatever you do but please dont try to have an abortion if you are five months pregnant it really is tooo late.
2007-10-10 06:28:47 · answer #11 · answered by amanda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋