Wife help??

Question

Been married 7 years and now after the third kid. He's 5 months old she can't have a multiple orgasm. She says she can't relax. Never had this problem before so maybe someone can help.

Do I give her time or is there a way I can help get her relaxed? tried massages, candle lit baths etc.

Answer 1

If I answered, "Yes, your sex life can be just as spontaneous and wild as it was when you lived alone in your house with no children crying, fighting, playing, getting sick, asking questions, pulling on you for attention, tiring you out during the day, and wandering into your room at night,? You'd think I was full of it... and you'd be right! As any parent knows, children change everything in your life, including your sexual relationship. And although it certainly isn't easy, it is important that you maintain a healthy and passionate sex life.

Your case is not exemption... for goodness sake, you're wife had jut gone through the pain of childbirth. A woman's body after giving birth, as you say, this is the third, doesn't bounce back to normal right away plus her hormones, metabolism and emotions. It takes sometime especially if she's nursing the baby (breastfeeding.) Most women (though not all) have a difficult time feeling sexual when they aren't feeling emotionally safe. Talk to her about how you can make it more safe for her to release her emotional tension with words, and not just through sexual contact. Let her know you understand all the pressures she is under, and rather than judging her for her worries or concerns.

ravishingV

Answer 2

The exercise Connie D talks about is called the Kegal exercise! It might help! Nursing also helps bring female parts part to normal! The thing is, it isnt always our bodies that dont cooperate with orgasims! Sometimes it is mental things we worry about, sometimes sheer physical exhaustion, many things contribut and you need to consider everything! Who is more concerned about her orgasims- you or her? I think you just need to give her more time to adjust to being a mother again keeping in mind you have added another baby, she is getting older and it takes more time to get back into the routine of things. Maybe this baby is more demanding than the others were, especially during the night! Feel privelaged that at least the wife is still interested in sex and even one orgasim is better than none. Dont give up. You could still do all those wonderful candles, massages and mood / relaxation things for her even tho it may not lead to sex!

Answer 3

Your wife has three kids. You didn't say how old the other two are. The baby is 5 months old. The woman is tired! If you want her to give you her undivided attention, and you want her to be totally turned on, do something to take some of the burden off of her shoulders. Help her by giving the kids their baths, putting on their PJ's, and putting them to bed. If you help with the older ones, she will be able to deal with the littlest one. Hey, here's an innovative idea, help her with the dinner dishes, picking up the toys and days clutter. If she doesn't have so much to do before going to bed, she will be less tired when she gets there. Then maybe she will be less stressed and more receptive.

Answer 4

There is an exercise that women can do. There is a muscle that most likely got over stretched when giving birth, tell her that when she pees to stop it mid stream the muscle that does this is the one she wants to exercise. Have her repeat this process for a week stopping it midstream several times each time. When she learns how it feels to tighten that muscle she can repeat it throughout the day anywhere she is. The more she does it the better. Once it is toned again all will be back to normal. It really works and it also works for men too, so hey why not try it yourself.

Answer 5

5 months old? her body prob needs more time to recover from having a baby give her some time.... maybe you can help out more often around the house. How about an evening off... you cook or get takeout and YOU take care of the kids. If shes breastfeeding she might need more vitamins to allow her to get more energy and help her heal.

Good Luck I didnt get back to normal until the baby was about 10 months... I know it seems like a long way but just try to help out more often

Answer 6

So who is having more of a problem with her not being able to have multiple orgasms? You or her? It takes at least 6 months after child birth for a woman's hormones to get back where they were....just give her some time....You are not helping matters if you are pressuring her....

Answer 7

Why not try taking her out to a nice dinner and then a posh hotel -- for a weekend. As I recall, it's hard to relax when you fear a two-year old opening the bedroom door for a glass of water (coitus interruptus). Also, be sure to compliment her, touch her, cuddle her and help around the house -- even when you don't want sex. If you let her know that you LOVE her belly fat, her cellulite thighs and her leaky breasts just as much as you did BEFORE gravity (and kids) took hold, she'll be much more confident in herself and your desire for her!

Answer 8

Give her time. Mutiple orgasms are reasonably rare to be able to have them.
It may be that she will be able to relax more after kid 3 is a bit older.

Answer 9

Be glad she can still have ONE.

The key may be relaxation.

How about birth control? Are you using any?
A five month old ? Maybe she does not want to be pregnant again. That would be cause for not relaxing.

Answer 10

So she can't have a multiple orgasm...is that really your big problem? People change over time. Their bodies change. Be happy and content that she can have one at all. Some people can't.