My husband and I argue sooo much its depressing..how do I rectify this?

Answer 1

It takes two to argue. If you aren't drawn into the argument, there isn't going to be one, is there.... Just tell your husband that you will talk to him rationally about things, but arguing is out of the question. He might be so happy to hear that the battle amour doesn't need to be put on, he might be more than willing to talk things out quietly for a change.

Answer 2

You need to find a good time and simply write down all the things you argue about.

Buy some books together (Men are from Mars/Women fromVenus) and begin to learn how to effectively communicate.

Understand, that even arguing is better than silence. But you need to learn how to lessen arguements, to simply disagreements.

Most of the time, couples are actually saying things the other would normally agree with, but the way it is said and the way it is received makes it sound like it is opposing, therefore needing defending. In defending, comes invalidation; therein is the cycle.

Many times, repeating back what the other person says will help aliviate much unncessary hurts and miscommunications.

:)

Answer 3

Stop and take a look at the things you're arguing about. It's usually stupid crap that doesn't even matter! Just ask yourself before you start griping (as all of us women do) "Does this really matter"? "Is it life or death"? "Is my life going to be turned upside down if we don't have this discussion right now"? Of course, your husband will need to meet you in the middle, but you'd be surprised what making yourself relax more can do for his attitude! Don't wait for the man to make the first move in rectifying the situation dear, or you'll be old and gray and still waiting!

Answer 4

Work out what the 'loops' are in a given argument. i.e in most arguments you end up going over the same ground and saying the same things. SO you need to work out what the loop is and plan something different to say to break that loop and establish proper discussion. e.g. a frineds husband always finishes an argument by saying 'I can't cope with this, I need a drink' to which she replies 'oh you aways say that , just another excuse'. Next time I see her I am going to suggest that she says
'Well learn to because it is time we both started listening to what each other has to say without feeling criticised or threatened by it'.

Answer 5

What do you two argue about? The experts say that we argue about money, kids, sex and helping around the house. Since I don't know what you two argue about I tell you some helpful ways to argue. Argument Rules. 1.Never say ever, never, always. 2.Touch each other during (hold hands or finger tips something) 3.Never attack them personally. 4. Don't bring up past agruments. 5.Make love afterwards....Good luck

Answer 6

Why argue? means that you contradicts each opinion. one of you must give way or else you end up fighting. Because you are the one who raised this question here in y/a means you are more prevalent to understand the situation and maybe ready to swallow your pride. For once, i may advice you to give way and give in to what he wants. If this work maybe time will come that he will understand your side. Just be patient not to argue with him. Learn to listen and suggest if he don't accept your suggestion then agree with smile...smile although you don't feel smiling.
Have you heard of the saying, "if you can't win them join them"
Good luck!

Answer 7

You first need to find out why you are arguing so much and fix it. I know this may sound simple but it's true. There has to be some reason why this is happening. It could be your fault and it could be his but you need to find out why so you can work on it. I know men don't like to talk about stuff like this but it will only get worse as time goes on. Good luck and DON'T play the blame game. !!!!!

Answer 8

I do also,,,,Not sure why ,but its usually over something stupid....

I guess its just a power thing or something to defend your way of thinking..
If you are like me,,,I always try to get last word in and so does he.... He wants to always be right and I just won't let him because I have different views ..

I learned the only way is NOT TOO argue and if he is NOT agreeing with you,,,I say THAT"S WHAT YOU THINK !!! and if he tries to prove himself right I just say "That's ok ,,,That is how you think,,,I am sorry to say I Don't think that way," ,and he has NO comeback,,,TRY IT ,,, and sometimes he says ...YOUR just Stupid ,,and I say THATS what YOU think!!It almost always works ...We argue less due to that little line,,,, GOOD LUCK!

THAT's WHAT I THINK!!!

Answer 9

Famous saying.....do you want to be right....or do you want to be in a loving relationship.


Together make the decision that somethings are just not worth arguing about.......and when you do argue set a time limit and when the time is up......the argument is over.

Go back to your corners.....lick your wounds for a few minutes...then kiss and make up.

If you can't fix it.....see a professional.

Answer 10

you have to sit and talk out your differences or get counseling if necessary. If you sit and talk without arguing you may be able to solve the arguments before they begin by doing, and saying perhaps, the things you need to do to avoid the arguments.