When we first hooked up, I work for three years before we had our first baby, after she was born i wanted to go back to work or go back to school, he said i should stay home since he grew up without his mom being at home (she worked) and he wanted his kids to have that. Well, 2years later we had another baby and i kept telling him i wanted to go to school because the kids would eventually go to school and i would be alone at home. again he said the kids needed me and i should stop being selfish! four years later we had another baby and to make a long story short, they are all in school now and during the years we opened a home based business that has done quite well over the years, but now with gas prices going up and the cost of living rising, and not to mention our kids wanting more expensive toys -2 r teenagers now! we r have a hard time keeping up with all the bills! NOW he wants me to go to work! is he crazy? i have no real skills and he says i am too dumb ! what should i do?
2007-10-10 05:03:52 · 14 answers · asked by gurlynmgurl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not lazy! in fact i have been offered lots of jobs, including one at a hospital working as a cna and at a copper mine near our home, these jobs pay from 11.00- 15.00 an hour. i think that is good but he says it would'nt be worth it to work for that! i work my *** off with our home based business plus i do all the housework and take care of the kids! plus when he comes home i wait on him hand and foot! so u see, i am not lazy! i'm only on line now because he's not home to give orders. once again i am at home holding down the fort while he's out on business. i have told him that if i got a good job-enough to support me and my three kids i would leave him because he to, for some strange reason, thinks i am mooching off him.
2007-10-10 07:57:52 · update #1
The respect is gone and you better get a job because it looks like you may be feeding yourself. Why do you think you cant do it now? It would make you feel like a totally new person. Get the make- up on, the hair done, and go girl go.
2007-10-10 05:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by New Nana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off very few states still recognize common law marriages and those that do, do not often require a "divorce" just separation of assets. I'd be more concerned with him calling you dumb. As for going to work go to your local employment office many offer job training. I know ours will pay (if you meet the income guidelines) to give you training in a selected field my friend did it and became a CNA another did it to become and I still laugh at this a person that pierces body parts other then the ears and shes 40! Go to walmart and work if you MUST work even McDonalds but most of all do it and get out of a relationship that is apparently mentally abusive from what youve posted here
I'd also like to add that I went to college I in fact have my Masters in Clinical Psychology and in December of 05 I stopped practicing at the request of my OB (I was a very high risk pregnancy) and I have not gone back and honest to god girl mentally I do not think I am as sharp as I was when I was working. My days now consist of playing blocks and cars w our son and cooking and cleaning and thought I LOVE being home with my son and do not want to return to work until he's in school I know and can admit that if you dont use it you lose it and I am not longer as mentally sharp as I was before
I wish you luck. If nothing else get a job just to socialize
2007-10-10 12:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go back to school. You don't necessarily have to attend college but there are many vocational schools in a lot of areas where you would be able to have the satisfaction of going to school and have a good trade as well, perhaps as secretary, bookkeeper somewhere, dental assistant, or who knows what else. He sounds like a real loser who wanted you barefoot and pregnant and had no respect for you as a person if he said that you were dumb, so you may even find somewhere that you can make good money and decide to leave him behind, even after that many years.
2007-10-10 12:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live, but there are resources for people in your situation. You may qualify for free schooling, or job training to get you back into the work force. I live in Ohio. I went to the Ohio One Stop program because I want to work, now that my youngest is in school, but I have no marketable skills (we also have a home based business that does good, but I wanted to do something for me). I just started school last week in a field I was interested in. I qualified as a dis placed homemaker. Call your local social serves to see if there are any programs in your area.
Most states have this program, but it is called something different in different areas.
2007-10-10 12:11:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that you've depended on this man all the way to make major decisions for you and to take care of you. In your next life you might want to rethink this.
Here are some ideas....
- what are some ways you you can enhance and grow your current home based business so that your family can have more income?
-find work that comes with some training programs attached...such as in retail sales (might have commissions so that you can do well).
-do work that others won't do....like house painting, lanscaping, etc.
-buy the right lottery ticket.
2007-10-10 12:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many things you can do. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to run a cash register, stock shelves, answer phones, etc.
You say the bills are an issue, so why aren't you the one racing out to make some money to help with that?
You put yourself into the position you (personally) are in...now it's up to you to fix it.
2007-10-10 12:10:55 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is calling you dumb then you need to re evaluate your relationship with this man. Next, you wanted to work now is your chance. I don't think that him asking you to go to work is really bothering you. Find out what that is then ask again. I will be more than happy to answer again.
2007-10-10 12:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by coca_cola.girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Times are hard all over. Get off your lazy *** and find a job!!!
2007-10-10 12:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by Charles O 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a job you lazy, woman. you've been mooching forever, step up and help out.
2007-10-10 12:14:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to work, lie on your resume. basic computer skills gets you a fine job as an assistant or customer service rep. tell him to STFU he sounds like an idiot for telling you to work and telling you your too dumb
2007-10-10 12:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋