giving up...?

Question

At what point to do just give up trying?

My husband and I have been ttc for over 3 years. We've both been checked out and there was no physical reason found for not concieving. I've been on clomid for several months now. We got pregnant a few months ago, but I lost it very early. This month I was ABSOLUTELY certain we were going to get pregnant. We both were. I have no idea why, we just knew deep down that this was the month. Then, a couple of weeks ago my hubby made a joke (sort of) that I was pg with twins. A couple of days later I found out that I had ovulated for the month, but that I had another egg coming and to continue the baby dance to increase my odds. (TWINS???) So needless to say, I had myself all kind of psyched up to be pregnant, possibly with twins. Well, I took a hpt this morning and it was negative. I am having some cramping in my abdomen which I am assuming is premenstrual.

I know I have done this to myself, getting my hopes up so high, but I am devastated that I'm not pregnant. At what point do you just give up, and how?

To answer some of your questions, we are Christians and pray all the time, understnading that we want God's will fulfilled, not our own (although that is often easier said than done), and AF should be here today...

Answer 1

I wouldn't recommend giving up. If you need a break, take one. Don't ever give up, especially when there are no physical impairments that prevent pregnancy. If you have tried for three years and have spent money on tests of infertility, it wouldn't hurt to try and IUI. That is where the docs take your hubbys "little guys" and sift thru them and collect the strongest ones and insert them into your cervix when you are ovulating. The chances of conceiving this way are higher, and it is a good idea, way better than giving up. Motherhood is the best, and I think everyone who wants to should experience it. Think about it and do some research on it.

Answer 2

You will know when it is time to move. Everyone can give their opinions, but it will simply come down to whether you are strong enough physically and mentally to continue on with treatments. Technology and science has come so far in the field of infertility, but it still doesn't help mend the psychie of a couple who continues to try with negative results. My husband and I were TTC for 8 years. I underwent multiple surgeries to "fix" things that were wrong. We started with Clomid/IUI and eventually graduated to IVF, to no avail. It was a tough decision, but I knew that my heart couldn't take any more disappointment and the waiting and hoping every month was torture. We opted not to pursue surrogacy or adoption because we were financially stretched to the limits. Now, 4 years later we have moved on with our lives and lead happy productive lives without being parents. Just listen to your heart and be in tune to your hubbies feelings also. You will know when to say enough is enough. Many positive thoughts coming your way!!!

Answer 3

Don't give up, have faith , I am trying to have alot of faith for I have been trying a little over you (4 years), there is hope, never give up, once you believe in it, it shall happen, I was on the edge of giving up too, but it was because of the fantastic ppls on yahoo answer who give me strength to not to give up, some day you would have a baby, and healthy at that, I am still taking clomid for the 4th time and last month I added metformin with it, I am threw with the tww, but I am scared to test for all I really see is (-) and i'll be dissapointed to see another one, my cycles aren't reguler so I can't say when its coming, I have pcos, right now as we speak I am having lite mild cramps and tender breast, I crave for vineger all is signs of pregnancy and pms, this is my 1st time experiencing these sypmtoms, I wish the best for you and never give up,

I no many of persons who the dr told could not have kids got pregnant not just one time but 2,3,4 etc, so dont give up, I would encourage you not to, for you and your husband is healthy

Watch this video would Dixie send to us ladies ttc its a good video and it give you hope
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDSB5M-tfRk

wish you lots and lots of bucket full of baby dust

ttc#1 for 4 years
diagnois with pcos in April 07
currenlty taking clomid and metformin
cycle day #29

Answer 4

Don't give up!!!! Maybe you are trying too hard and the stress is causing you not to get pregnant. It took me 9 yrs after my first one to get pregnant again. Went to doctors and they could find nothing wrong and we didn't use any form of birth control and when I gave up well guess what??? I got pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl and that beautiful baby girl gave me a grandson 4 months ago. Good Luck

Answer 5

Unexplained fertility is the hardest to deal with, so I feel your pain. You know what... it's not over until Aunt Flo sings. She may or may not show up today.

I say keep going... just try to not focus so much on it. Maybe you can occupy yourself with other things. Take a class or get a puppy... puppies are SO much work you don't have time to think about much else at first.

Good luck Pumpkin.

Answer 6

I'm sorry that you and your hubby have been struggling for so long.

Is your period late? false negative are fairly common if you're testing before your period is due. Don't give up hope!!!!!! I never trust a negative HPT until AF rears her ugly head.

You will be blessed with a little miracle in time. I know it is hard to wait and get excited only to get disappointed. You're day will come!!!!

Good luck and baby dust!!!

Answer 7

I say dont give up. idk if your a Christian but for me i never give up as much as i want to on anything.... Sometimes timing isn't right. and its hard to take that in... but once it happens you'll be too happy to remember the years it took to get there. i know how ya feel. its sad and really can put a stressful pain inside ya. but i think if you want a baby that bad... keep trying. if you were men tto be a mother it will happen. another thing is health. its alot more easy to get pregnant when your healthy and for the most part happy and just living your life day by day.

Answer 8

You should look into getting treated for macrophages. My friends had been trying for years and were about to give up -instead they changed doctors and the new doctor gave them some medicine and they got pregnant the next month.

Apparently macrophages are a new discovery and most doctors aren't up on it, I haven't been able to find any good information on the web either -sadly.

Answer 9

I won't give up. If your taking clomid already, the I would recommend doing an IUI. I don't think it would be against your religion and it would increase your chances.

Answer 10

you just can't give up, that isn't an option...you can explore every option out there, medically and otherwise, but giving up is not an option...you just need strength to go on, and i think you have it. there's no way to cut it, it sucks, and it's not fair, and everytime you turn around you see someone else getting pregnant "by accident" or "the first time"...etc. it kills you inside and you just can't wrap your mind around why it can't happen for you. i know how it is, but there just isn't an option for giving up, there can't be. my heart feels for you and with you, and i believe that the lord never gives us more than we can handle at any certain time. so i pray for strength and perseverance for all of us in this situation, as well as peace of mind which i could really use. best of luck, but please don't give up!!!