Whats with pushing a 3some? Our sex life is awesome and there shouldn't be a need. This is reality, not fantasy. He even served me up on a platter yesterday to some guy he doesn't even know. I would NEVER have sex with another man, unless I was divorced. Why does he lust other women ALL the time? Not getting it at all...Help me understand this. He strokes himself all the time and even came yesterday as I read the chat info in complete shock. I'm starting to think he needs some kind of mental health treatment in the area of sex. HELP!
2007-10-10 03:54:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No problem here with fantasy. And yes I have no problem with the normal men stuff. No biggie! It's the push for a 3some and his addiction to sex. He even has that lust look on his face towards when while we're out. It's not a hey what a goodlooking person look, it's I want to **** her look. There is a difference.
2007-10-10 04:06:14 · update #1
Not midlife. He is 35 and yes, we do talk fantasy. No problem there. He has been pushing this for sometime now. I told him if I ever had sex with another man it was telling him good-bye! He doesn't care if it's a 3some or swap. He just wants more...This is an ongoing struggle and the love is still very strong, however, the trust is gone, no honesty on his part and doesn't see there to be an issue. Hey: If he wants to hit the road, there is nothing holding him back. My kids and I deserve more. If I wanted a 3some I would have done it in college or HS. Geeeze! He's had this experience with his X and in college. He should have stayed single if that's the lifestyle he wants to live. Right?! Maybe I should flirt with goodlooking men?? Sad thing is, I feel that would make his day.
2007-10-10 04:17:50 · update #2
Yes, we have been to an ARMYONE doc and he had the nerve to tell me at my age I should just deal with it. I'm an attractive woman and don't have to just take it for what it is. Nobody should! He has also been to a doc on his own, not so sure he was completely honest while going for treatment. Three sessions wouldn't do it in my eyes. We went to 4 together and I ended up walking out after told I should just deal with it because of my age (40). Like I said I have no problem with fantasy at all and play along with no problem. However, when were done, we're done! Not just on the internet and search for others, not asking me about something that was said during a fantasy to push me to look for someone else. To get right down to it, I have no problem showing others how much I love my hubby and would even have sex infront of others because they don't matter. Haven't, but would. I do love him and adore him in many ways. It is difficult to hold on to the depth of my love while this is ongoing.
2007-10-10 04:49:29 · update #3
Bless your heart! Yes, something is definitely wrong...sounds like a sex addiction for sure. First of all I want to complement you on having such a great head on your shoulders! I don't know how many times I have been on here and I just want to reach across the screen and shake some of these women who think they should comply even though that is totally against what they believe in. So..great for you! You are so right to stand up for yourself on this subject.
If the trust is gone as you say it is, then are you sure you still love him that much? Maybe I am just different that way, but for me..if trust is gone, then love is too. They go hand in hand in my opinion. However, everyone is different. Just thought you might want to explore that a little bit more. No disrespect intended.
I agree with you that you and your children deserve better! Since it is so hard to get people who have a problem like this to a professional, how about if you make an appointment to talk with one. They could probably give you some really good tips on how to handle people like him..how to convince him that he needs help, etc. That is if you are really set on working things out. I always believe you should exhaust every effort to keep the marriage alive when there are kids involved, but wow...I think sexual addiction is a hard one to conquer. Like I say, talk to a professional about it. They could probably really help.
As far as the subject of how he lusts after other women when you are out together. That is just so disrespectful and rude to you and to the other women out there. You sound pretty spunky. Maybe you could start saying something when he does that, like...Say real loud, "Have a little respect, she doesn't want to sleep with you okay", lol. I would soooo die if I said something like that, but you seem to have some spunk and who knows...it might stop him from doing it. It is one thing for him to have a problem, but somehow he keeps involving you, and that isn't okay! I'm sure it is embarassing when he does that in public, and this whole thing about pressuring you to have a threesome is really disrespectful. He needs his head examined for sure, before you show him the door....I have a feeling that is just what you will do too. Keep that spunk. It's something so many women need and don't have. Good luck to you and hope this helps. Keep your chin up my friend!
2007-10-10 04:34:57 · answer #1 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He obviously has no respect for you and little love. When you love someone how you could you encourage them to be intimate with someone else why you watched? How could you are this?
An open marriage or any relationship that takes part in sexual endeavors with other couples or people is NOT a relationship. It's more like a bunch of animals mating and even then animals only mate to create life, so it is worse!!!
If this kind of relationship is what your husband wants, he probably isn't the man for you. Monogamy is a choice and obviously your husband has other priorities in mind.
There is no advice other than seek counseling ASAP. If the two of you try to work things out and get past this and he continues to pressure you, there is two things you can do:
1. leave and find someone who truly loves and respects you, or 2. stay and be a slave to his fantasy.
I truly wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-10 04:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by Gretta 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right your husband really needs help. He cannot control himself anymore. You may visit this site www.mental-health-matters.com/disorders/dis_details.php?disID=89
It says there that Sexual Addiction: is when a person who compulsively seeks out sexual experiences and who's behavior becomes impaired if they are unable to gratify their sexual impulses.
As you help your husband, be very careful of yourself. He is very much disturbed now.
You need to go to a doctor specializing in sex disorders.
It would be better if you will go to the doctor first and ask him
how you can help your husband. Also, ask for ways on how you'll be able to bring your husband to the doctor.
I am also married, I do advice you to help your husband through this sickness. Don't just leave him. He may progressed into a more dangerous person. Just be careful
2007-10-10 04:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? is this something like a mid life thing?
Does he want to have a 3sum w/another woman and you or another man and you or does it matter?
There are a lot of factors to con sider.
one thing for sure u r not going to do it,this maybe just a game that he is playing to get excited it is not uncommon to play.My wife and I play all the time but have never gone through with any of it,but sometimes it we really get into it.
2007-10-10 04:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by me1234529 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is crazy!! Don't give into him if it is not what you want. You and your kids are the most important thing!!! He should kiss the ground you walk on just for not kicking him in the balls for continuing to ask about it. What goes on with you and your husband is private and another party involved is just a recipe for disaster! Tell him to rent a movie and you just know that no man is worth comprimising what you believe in!!!
2007-10-10 04:42:15 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Premature ejaculation is caused by specific things that you do before and during sex. Most of the time without even realizing it. Read here https://tr.im/3N7Rt
Premature ejaculation is not some gene you're born with, the result of your penis size or a part of your personality that you can never change.
2016-02-13 18:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Kayleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, your husband has some obsession with sex.
And hon, a threesome is a good way to begin to mess up a marriage.
I'm not sure what to say about all of this, but i have left a source below -- Sexaholics anonymous.
Maybe there is some helpful information to be found on the site?
I sure hope things work out.
2007-10-10 04:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
threesomes are some of the most common fantasies men have, but most men can draw the line between fantasy and reality. i guess my advice is to draw the line and flat out tell him it isnt going to happen. tell him he can have his fantasies, but it isnt going to become reality and he needs to move on. since he continues the pressure, he clearly hasnt gotten it yet. you need to make sure he understands it isnt going to happen, then maybe he can put it back into propper prospective and get on with his life.
2007-10-10 04:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by ohiojeff 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This isn't something you guys should do unless both of you are into it.
If its something you just can't see yourself doing, you need to tell him and make sure he understands that that is final.
Don't take it personally that your husband is attracted to other women. That's just human nature. As long as you guys are open and communicating, you will be fine.
2007-10-10 04:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Suggest to your husband that you know of a hugely well endowed handsome and charming man with a reputation for incredible stamina. Ask him if he wants you to set something up a session. I think you will find that will be the end of his fantasies.
Take care
2007-10-10 04:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by gto 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋