what would you do if this happened with your husband...?

Question

my husband did things in the past that have caused me insecurities...

and recently i said to him, "I just want to be the most beautiful woman in the world TO YOU" not to anyone else, but just TO HIM....

maybe its asking too much, but when he honestly told me that he couldn't say that, because it wasn't true...

I pried for what he liked better....

and I got a list of qualities like smaller boobs, brown eyes, bigger butt, yadda yadda....

So now, everytime I see a girl with these qualilties, I get super insecure...

I don't know how to just get over it and live happily.... these things plague me every day...

what would you do?

Answer 1

he should be happy he has u, very caring and wanting to please him. he's a selfish pig. but u can get ur breasts downsized and try to keep fit to the way he likes u, if u think its worth it or really if he's worth it. i say dump him, u seem nice and i'm sure a lot of guys would like that quality in a women

Answer 2

You can be happy if your truly love each other. I like things about other men and they have qualities physically that I like better. That does not mean that I don't love my husband. I like dark skin and black hair and my husband is light skin and brown hair. He has also told me that he like brunettes and I am blond. I don't think he is the most gorgeous man on earth but I love him for what it inside. The inside can make a person more attractive or less attractive to another person. These things are just physical things that we are attracted to. Love is a deeper level and is also about the mental and spiritual. If you have these things in common then your marriage can be strong. If he is a constant cheater then I can see why you would have these insecurities because he is only looking for the next best thing. You do need to be able to trust him before you can grow as a couple.

Answer 3

I really do not know what I would do faced with your dilemma. Our husbands are still men and the truth is they have all it takes to cast a lot of doubts on us about ourselves. All I can say is that you need to empower yourself and read books that will make you realize just how important and wonderful a person you are. Remember, you are wonderfully and beautifully created and never forget that. Enlarge your social cirlce and do a lot of laughing, at the end of the day the one who laughs the best has the last laugh.
When you wake up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror and smile.

Answer 4

Why did you ask the question in the first place? You got what you asked for.

Your husband did not cause your insecurities. They were there all along. You just asked him an impossible question and he gave you an honest answer. Frankly, you are lucky. If he had lied you would have yet another thing to be insecure about (since you wouldn't believe him anyway).

You need to forget about your husband (as it relates to this topic at least) and think about yourself. Why are you so insecure? I think you should consider a counselor.

Answer 5

That's what love is, isn't it? Knowing that someone in this whole wide world loves you and just you. Knowing that when you walk in a room he only has eyes for you. Knowing that he thinks you are beautiful from the inside out etc...,
It was very cruel and thoughtless for your boy friend to make you feel less than. It also shows his immaturity by focusing solely on appearances.
If all this guy is interested in is boobs, butt etc.., Ditch him, you can do so much better.

Answer 6

I have to tell you..when I read that he said he couldn't tell you that you're the most beautiful woman in the world because it isn't true, my jaw dropped. It sounds like he doesn't value you for who you are. I would seriously consider (If I were you) if he is the right one for you, because it sounds to me..you can find somebody better. Somebody who values you and somebody who will want you above everyone else. You may be exactly what somebody else is looking for. Maybe somebody who likes big boobs and small butts!!!
As for the insecurity, I don't really think there IS a way for you to get over that. I mean, after what he said to you, I personally would find it impossible to get over that thought. And besides going through major plastic surgery there is no way he will ever feel differently.
This sounds like one of those crossroads thing to me. It will probably be a big part of your life, either leaving him, counseling maybe!, or trying to find it in you to get over seeing those other women. All of those choices will be tough but it doesn't seem like you have any other options.
By the way, i've been in a situation like this, an ex of mine looooved women and he always made me feel that they were better than me and eventually it started driving me crazy to see all of these "beautiful" women. Especially around him. And you know what? I never got over it. Even now that we're getting back together (we talked through all the bs, the other women etc and I forgave him, he is a lot better now) it's still hard to see other pretty women around him even though he behaves. Hopefully, if you decide to stick it out, it'll be easier for you. Just have confidence is all I can say...
Good Luck hon!

Answer 7

Well there must be something that he likes about you because he married you , those just sound like physical characteristics that he likes and of course you may not have all the physical characteristics that he finds attractive because some people find lots of things attractive and sometimes you cannot have them all....for example some men like Blue eyes AND brown eyes, you obviously can't have both but it doesn't mean he would like one better than the other, but just ask him what it is he likes about you, (qualities that you possess) and accentuate them to make the other physical characteristics less important.

Good luck
and try not to think of it so much , he loves you

Answer 8

Start by feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world to YOU. You can't depend on your husband to feel happy, you need to do this for yourself. You either get over your insecurities or get a divorce. Counsceling is a good place to start.

Answer 9

Well you should be, and that he said your not, Well I would think twice about staying with him. YOu need to feel secure in your relationship. You need to stay Real and Love Yourself and look good for YOU because it makes YOU feel good. I wonder if he believes what he said or if he just wants you to keep remaining insecure because he is? Well he had to have married you because he liked what he seen in you right? So I would talk to him and ask what the deal is. You need trust and if you dont have it you may have to get some counceling. Try to work it out first and if its not any better than I would think twice about it.

Answer 10

what a jerk this guy is. when you married you naturally married for love. Its a complete package, looks, wit, intelligence, friendship. this guy needs a reality check because i wouldn't blame you if you drop kicked hI'm. Ask him what endeared him to you in the first place. If he cant answer that question than im sorry but you must seriously consider what is best for you. Remember in 60 odd years most people reading this will be dead. In the overall scheme of things that's not a long time. Good luck

Answer 11

This probably isn't the answer you are looking for, but first and foremost, I would try to figure out what it would take for you to be the most beautiful woman in the world in YOUR eyes. Once you are secure in your own appearance, then you won't have to find satisfaction in your husband's eyes. In addition to that, self-esteem makes women more beautiful than any other physical feature.

Take pride in yourself and look inward for security and you will become happier. It's a lot easier said than done, but it's worth the energy it takes.