please answer me!!
2007-10-10 02:45:13 · 47 answers · asked by Laurita y Marcial 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Divorce him and take em for all he's worth
2007-10-10 02:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by cz73 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, everyone is different and I hope that you don't make a quick decision based on the opinions on here, but, if it were me, I would leave my husband. That is something that simply isn't allowable in my marriage. I don't know if I could ever forgive him for committing something so horrific. Not only does it shatter the trust and and the bond that I have with him, it would also destroy my self-esteem (hopefully only temporarily). I have seen it first hand many times in other peoples lives.
But, here is the catch...many, many couples go on together after something such as an affair and have perfectly normal, healthy marriages. It takes a lot of counseling and lots of commitment on both sides, but it works in some cases. You are going to have to decide whether or not you are one of the exceptions to the rule (along with him as well). If you have someone in your church, or a counselor that you already see that you can talk this over with, then I highly suggest that you do that. And, if it feels appropriate, take some time away from your husband to decide what you want to do.
I am sorry that you are going through this. I hope that everything works out for the best for you. Please e-mail me if you want to talk.
2007-10-10 02:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by Slipped Halo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer this question. If I stay with him how am I ever going to trust him. Will I be paging every second to find out if he really is working late, at a friends house watching sports, if it really is just a night out with the boys, had car trouble...Listening to background noises when he calls to say that he is playing golf. I mean you might have been in a really secure relationship but this will definitely shatter every last grain of trust that there was in this relationship girl.
I hate to break it to you but you can add me to the list of answers that says you should leave him. Not just to get revenge, but for your own peace of mind. Sleeping around is the ultimate betrayal...
2007-10-10 02:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by T-zer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pack my things and leave without speaking to him. I might leave a note saying, I hope your happy with your affair.
If you have kids, I'd pack his things, call him and very calmly let him know that you found out and would like it if he left your house until you are not as upset, you need time to figure out what will be the next step. Whether that may be leaving him or trying to work it out.
Only you can decide if you want to stay in the marriage. I personally would not, I would never be able to trust that person again and would wind up making both of us very unhappy. But I've known couples who do stay and try to work it out, it's very hard on the relationship and they both have to be committed to make it work though.
2007-10-10 02:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack his stuff and throw it out the door.I would then tell him he had just lost his family and i want a divorce.I've been through this once along with other abuse.So i definatly will not put up with it the second time around.I have an ex.My hubby now is faithful trustworthy and respectful,but still a man,but perfect to me.We decide as women who to have in our life.Nobody holds us back .We choose to stay and make exscuses on why we stay.We have a choice.Stand up for yourself and choose how you want to live.
2007-10-10 02:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive seen this a million times. The only way to ease your pain is by cheating on him, preferably with his boss. This will trigger a natural responce for you to get over things. If not, youll know you can find someone else. That alone, is a good piece of mind. Take it on yourself to make things better, do the right thing. ☺
2007-10-10 09:00:46 · answer #6 · answered by nickname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is quite a personal question because it involves your family and the rest of your life. What I would do is probably leave but that might not be the best solution for you. Do you have children. Do you want to work it out there are counselors that might be able to help. What you need to do now is assess the situation and figure out what you want to do and what is best for yourself and children if you have any. Then move on from there. Anyway you look at it there will be alot of stuggles ahead but you will get through them whichever road you choose. Good luck
2007-10-10 02:50:18 · answer #7 · answered by Darkchild 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I would make sure my boss found out first of all!! Then I would try to find out what exactly went wrong and why it happened. If I was miserable already I would leave and never look back, if I thought everything was okay and I wanted to work it out then I would do just that. Thats such a hard circumstance, if you are going through this Im sorry and I will listen if you need to talk
2007-10-10 02:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by Sherie D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would leave and try to find my dignity. He will try to find you and do all the things to make you come home. Deny, anger, resentment those are some of the things he will go through. Love yourself enough not to be in the same house with him. He did not do it to hurt you but did it because of some flaw in his own character. Remember people who cheat do it because they are to selfish to deal with the problems they have. SO they try to get validation from someone else for their sense of inadequacy. Try not to take it personally and read the book The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz.
good luck!
2007-10-10 02:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I caught my wife cheating I would think I would probably divorce her. However, if she came to me and told me about it and wanted to fix our relationship, I may not, I don't know.
Honestly, I don't think that anyone who hasn't been there really knows what they would do for sure. You have to decided what you want to do. Is he willing to stop? Is he asking you for forgiveness? Are you happy enough with your marriage that you still want to stay together? Do you want to stay or divorce?
Just do what you feel is the right thing. He cheated and he diserve the consciences he is going to face. You need to worry about yourself first.
2007-10-10 02:51:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
call a lawyer. Don't kill off his job. Tell him in a public place calmly that you have caught him. Give him a choice. You or her. If you, counseling is needed and if you catch him again, well there is no other chances. Her: he moves. Just be aware that if you do work things out the trust is broken forever. It will always bug you some. good luck
2007-10-10 02:49:18 · answer #11 · answered by Bob D 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋