My wife is pregnant with sombody elses baby.?

Question

My wife and I were going through some rough times and we were going through the process of a divorce. Later we got back together. We both know what one did while separated. Both of us had relations with other people. She got pregnant with her ex boyfriends baby. On that note; I also had a scare with my ex girlfriend she got pregnant as well. I don't know what to do guys. I found out that my ex girlfriends baby is not mine. She was cheating on me when we were going out. I no longer communicate with her. On the other hand. My wife communicates with her ex all the time. She says that she wants him to be in the baby's life. Witch is understandable but it feels like it is putting a strain on our relationship that we are working to keep with each other. So now we have one son and another baby on the way. Give me input guys.

Answer 1

Wow... This one is tough.

the child is biologically his, but emotionally yours. She got pregnant, which seems OK since you were trying new lives. Can't use that as a strain on the newly rekindled relationship, which it sounds like you are not doing. Good for you.

Now for this baby. If the father wants to be in the life, that is great, honestly... BUT there have to be groundrules. You should probably be around, or someone else be around when the child transfer from mom to dad takes place. That way there will be a feeling of well-being for you.

After a while, and you can be sure that your relationship is solid, then the rules can change, but you, the wife, and the father of the baby will be in each others' lives for 18 years, or more... Unfortunately you have to deal... but many deal in the same way with step-children. You sound reasonable, and like you are able to handle this kind of situation with intelligence and discression.

Before the baby is born, you 3 need to get together and discuss how best you all can deal with this unique but not unimaginable situation.

Good luck to you and your marriage!

Answer 2

you have to take things one step at a time and day by day. First, you have to get some counseling together to learn how to talk to each other and how to make this marriage work out. If you can't solve your problems in the marriage that lead to the start of the divorce, you might as well get the divorce and she can see if she can have a relationship with the child's father.
Once you get past that, you have to meet the other guy and work out details of how you are going to deal with this - will you both be in the delivery room when the baby is delivered, for example.. If she loves you, this guy won't be anything other than the biological parent but you will be the father and you and he may even get to be friends - remember, to use an example that you should know of, Demi Moore and her new husband often do things with Bruce Willis and Bruce and the new husband are very good friends.
I hope that all of you find some happiness in this strange situation - or perhaps it is not so strange given the number of children born out of marriages, and perhaps the only strange part is that you and her are able to get past this and move on together.

Answer 3

This is gonna be a hard road for you, this situation will be very draining on your marriage and it puts your marriage on a rocks. I have alot of knowledge when it comes to marriages and relationships so I,ll try to give you some advise that may help make your life easier. So here are some options for you, If you want your marriage to work and you feel that she wants it as well, then why not try to adopt this child as your own? If this is not a option then just make the best of life with your wife and this new baby, if you want to make this marriage work you will accept this child into your life and love him or her, if you cant then you must move on with your life without your wife, because their is nothing worse for a child then to grow up in a house with one parent who doesnt love him, and believe me kids know when their not loved. Also it takes more then sperm to be a father to a child, I mean anyone can can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a father. The bio-dad may be the sperm doner here but you can play a much bigger role in this childs life, and I have a feeling you will. So I say, make this child yours, and enjoy being a new dad to your child, and just keep in mind, this is gonna be your baby to, and if you just cant see yourself being a father to this little one, then like I said before, you must move on with your life and leave your wife. And no more being with other people outside of your marriage, even if you both were seperated you shouldnt have been out screwing around with other people, the only thing you two achieved by doing this was having a few orgasms and creating a baby that is now gonna have unsure future.

Answer 4

Good luck. It sonds like yuo do not have a stable relationship with this women. Not assigning blame. Just a statement. What is your choice? Do you want the sperm donor in the kids life? Explain to your wife how you feel. You need to get some help in your ability to chose mates.
My oldest son is not mine biologically. (I was there since day 1 so I am Dad) only son 2 is definately mine out of three boys total. Youngest doesnt know about any issues. I believe that for the sake of your relationship that until the child is older, the bioligical father should not have contact.

Answer 5

Well this is something that you're going to have to look inward to solve. This is truly going to be a test of your manhood, your commitment and love for your wife and family. You guys both did your thing while you were separated, so you can't have an issue with her there. You just have to ask yourself, and I mean really really dig deep, if you can handle this situation. You have to allow the other guy access to his child, its his child. At the same time I think that you also have to keep a close eye on the situation with him and and your wife. Make sure that after the baby comes, the contact is strictly on the level and there aren't any lingering feelings still on the table. You also need to be sure of how committed your wife is going to be to you and making things work with the 2 of you. Good luck man....

Answer 6

this is all up to you and your wife really. If this were me and my husband, i would be shocked if he stayed with me. Since you do not seem upset about the fact that you both left each other and immediately invited strangers into your beds, if you still love each other and want to make the marriage work, then do so. You will need to remember that there is a potential other father out there, and if he is the father of the child to be, he will have the right to be in the child's life forever. You CAN make this work if you are both willing to grow in your relationship and understand the possibility that you may only be a step father. when the time comes, a paternity test will tell your factually. Hope this helps. Be well.

Answer 7

Did you take a DNA test for the baby with your ex? Even if she was cheating, if you were having sex, then it's still possible that it is your baby.
As far as your wife, If you want to make it work, then you are going to have the patience of a saint. Since the ex is the father, he has a right to be involved in the child's life as a father should be.
If you can't handle that, then you may not be able to stay in your marriage.

Answer 8

This is a gross situation,, there are too many body fluids being passed around here,,, so my advice is that you and your gurl get tested,,, and then if you and her decide,, that you still want to be together,, I say go for it,, but you are going to have to forgive,,, and cover it with love,,, love covers a multitude of sins,, and although she is pregnant with someone Else's child,, children are still a blessing from God,, so pray to him to give you strength to deal with the situation,, and feel free to just love your girl so that when the baby comes you will have love for it as well ,,, to ease the stain of the baby daddy,, it may be hard to do but,,, you guys are going to have to find some kind of way to be cordial to one another,,,cause that baby did not do this mess,, and deserves to have you and his dad,, he will always have mom hopefully,, but just remember,,, you could have been having a baby too,, that you would have wanted to see,,, so just remember that fact no matter how messed up this situation looks now,,, that your off the hook...
Good luck to you guys,,
I wish you and you wife the best of luck,,,
and please go and get tested,, cause the both of you could have brought home more than just babies,,

Answer 9

You need a fresh start after all you been through, and you definitely don't want to raise some other jerk's child. If you claim paternity of the child, you will be footing the bill for some other ******** for 18 years.

Chances are your wife still loves her ex and not you. So try to end everything amicably and move on.

I mean, you lucked out when your ex's baby turned out not to be yours. You lucked out because your wife's baby is not yours. You are FREE!

P.S. They are all going to suffer, because none of them are going to be happy with their lovers and children.

Answer 10

Well first of all, you guys shouldn't have gotten married in the first place if you can't be true to that ;person. Secondly, she dosen't have to have the baby and she is, so she wants him in her life and your gonn ahave to deal w/ this man for the next 18-21 yrs of your life. To be honest having him around she will prob cheat on you with him again do be careful. If you ask me you guys are not meant to be and should leave now before u get hurt more later!