I asked my husband why had he left the kitchen in a mess after making a cup of tea. It wasn't a lie, there was sugar, water and milk all over the work top. So i wasn't imagining it, the mess was there!! He then started going into one saying I was nagging and not to keep moaning. Why is telling him there is a mess classed as nagging?
2007-10-10 00:51:59 · 27 answers · asked by Lisa T 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oooh this is great! I thought my bloke was the only one who accused me of nagging!!!!
I am so happy now I know that other blokes do it to!
And I NEVER nag! I just tell him what he needs to do to stop making me annoyed at the mess he leaves!
2007-10-10 01:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by fire_woman_1978 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because men don't want to hear about their mistakes and what they do wrong. They only want to hear the good not the bad everything else is just nagging. He expected you to just clean it up after him be cause that is your "job". But you know what I learned the more you take him out of the picture the less he will nag at you. He wil notice you more and realize what a precious jewel he has.
2007-10-10 00:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by faithfully2u4eva1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that you were nagging.....he just wants an excuse not to clean up the mess.....All it takes is maybe 10 seconds to run a paper towel over the mess....guess 10 seconds is just too much of his time....does he not realize that by leaving sugar and milk on a counter top it will attract insects??
2007-10-10 00:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a bloke this will surprise you they get so used to being waited on and things cleaned up after them that they say stop nagging when they should say sorry love I am a bone idol sod who cannot clean up after me.
It amazes me how some men keep their women because they are fuckin useless sorry but have to say it like it is. The reason that they say stop nagging it is their get out of jail card.
What does it make you question that you are being too harsh and then he has won.
2007-10-10 11:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by Edgein 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in the wrong often respond with a jibe or criticism. He is a slob and knows it and knows he left it for you to do. Tell him that nagging is only a repeated request and if he wasn't such a ****, you wouldn't have to repeat yourself. Next time you make tea, make his on the work surface and ask him to lick it up seeing as how he does that when he makes tea himself.
2007-10-10 11:07:57 · answer #5 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they already know they made a mess and didn't clean it up and use this tactic so you won't say anything when it happens again. They know what 'buttons to push'. I try to use the approach of making it humorous by saying something like - Hmm - looks like the cats left a big mess after making tea - and he will usually laugh and say, no, it must have been the dogs. Then he'll say -sorry, I meant to clean it up, thanks for doing it. I think they don't like to be 'attacked' and they attack back with what they know we hate; saying we are nagging.
2007-10-10 01:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow the ladies are grumpy this morning.
It's all about delivery dear. My wife tells me all the time that I did something wrong or left a mess but she does it nicely. Like, "Hey, Can you please pick up that shirt I would like the bedroom to be kept neat." Remember that if you ask nicely and explain why it works a lot better then. "You made a mess in there now clean it up". Try something like "Hey hon, Can you please clean up after yourself when you're done making tea. Sugar on a wet counter makes it really hard to clean up. Thank you sweetheart."
BTW this works on me so I would assume it would work on some other men at least.
2007-10-10 01:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a bloke, I wouldn't see that as nagging. He hasnt learnt that if he cleaned the mess up, then he wouldn't be "nagged" but also that he is showing you the respect that you deserve. I reckon you should look back to when he was growing up, I suspect his mother probably follwed him around cleaning up after him?
2007-10-10 02:01:36 · answer #8 · answered by simon m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you repeatedly tell him to clean up his mess...that is nagging. If he usually doesn't leave a mess, don't nag. With his attitude, I'd just wipe it up, it isn't that big of deal.
2007-10-10 05:11:53 · answer #9 · answered by Oppna to tal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you sounded EXACTLY like his mother and used the mother nag to criticize. NO man wants to be married to his mother or hear it after he moves out.
Perhaps you could avoid this in future by positive reinforcement instead of nagging.
You always catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
The number of thumbs down here simply shows me that most will never understand that this explanation is probably spot on.
Its his house too. Maybe he does not care if the mess is there.
Do you suppose being scolded by his wife/mother is going to modify this behavior? Think again.
2007-10-10 01:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋