It's true. It's only been 8 months since he was diagnosed with lung cancer. (He's still sneaking his cigarettes!) I now know far too much about his bodily functions and excretions.
Maybe tonight he will pass away. He's in the hospital again. Maybe it'll be next month or ???
PLEASE. Dad just keeps saying how he wished he wasn't doing this to us. If you smoke, please, think about what you do to those around you- not just yourself. PLEASE.
2007-10-10 00:18:19 · 34 answers · asked by chrisviolet4011 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
He wanted us to go tonight. Why????
It's nearly 9.30 pm now. I won't see him again until the morn.... I hope...
2007-10-10 00:27:03 · update #1
I'm very, very sorry.
My mom and brother both have cancer too, so I know how frustrating it can be ...
I think they are doing much better than your dad though.
Thank you for the warning - hopefully people that smoke will be able to take it seriously and quit.
Or at least try.
(I know it's hard to quit, but it's gotta be easier than dying of lung cancer.)
2007-10-10 00:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by pir8 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear this, and I sympathise - I was in a similar position to you 9 years ago with my Dad.
The thing about lung cancer, though, is that it doesn't affect smokers only. People who don't smoke and who are not regularly exposed to cigarette smoke also develop lung cancer.
It's very hard to watch someone you love die of cancer. At this stage, all you really can do is take whatever time you can to be with them. I think that your father feels bad for leaving you (his pleading), but you know what? For you, this is a rite of passage, dealing with the passing of someone you love. Everyone has to go through it. We tend to come out of it stronger.
I know this is not much comfort now, but it's a time when friends and family rally around and offer support and sympathy.
2007-10-10 00:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey. This hit home. My brother died from lung cancer at age 53. MY Mother laid down the same day, and never got up. She died 10 days later. Both were chain smokers.
I hated smoke. In fact, I had not been to see them for years as I could not take their smoking.
I was an activist, anti-smoking. The truth is, if you smoked, I would not invite you to my home or go anywhere with you.
Now guess what? I married a man that smokes (almost everyone does here, I moved to Egypt) AND....I smoke too. For nine months now.
I stink. I cough. I hate it. And nooooooo, I am NOT Stupid. But, I can't seem to quit. MY choice and actions are stupid and it frustrates me so much that in the end.......
I AM SMOKING.
I even pray to stop.
I want to say "thank you" for sending a strong message to me.
I don't know how I can ignore the words you wrote and go have another cigerette, but I will. I am hooked and don't know what to do.
God bless you and your family, may your Father's passing be calm and merciful. I will always remember you and your words.
2007-10-10 00:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jude F 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When I 1st found out that my Dad had cancer and very little hope of a cure, my heart seem to stop. It amazed me that the day before, all seemed fine and now all was black and so scary. After a long night of tears, I then made the decision to not live like he was dying everyday, for even with this illness I still didn't know what day he would die. This does not mean to avoid talking of his fears or pain but to just go on living and letting him live as best he could. 3 Years later he died but at least I was with him when he needed me and I never regretted the choices I made for I did it out of love.
Take care and enjoy the time you have with him.
2007-10-10 01:07:34 · answer #4 · answered by Zinette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
A fair observation, and of course my sympathies to you and family. A distressing time.
My Dad passed away about 5 yrs ago due to cancer, yet although he was much earlier in life was a heavy smoker, it turned out to be a growth on the leg. Least expected.
He was cheeful right to the end, and we talked about many happy memories in his life.
Your message here has re-newed my decison of some months ago to stop smoking.
When I go, it will be with a smile.
I hope that your Father does the same.
Bless,
Bob
2007-10-10 00:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by Bob the Boat 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I had to watch my dad die a slow death he had an aneurysm and I loved my dad so much it totally changed my life when I lost him. Stay with him and talk to him about your and his "good times" these are the memories that made your and his relationship. I lost a cousin to cigarettes a year ago and she died a slow painful death and believe it or not people would go in her room and visit her and go outside to smoke. I know she could smell the smoke but they don't seem to care. My husband died from a lung disease that stemmed from Agent Orange,he had severe asthma and he would drag an oxygen tank in a restaurant and people would light up and smoke knowing he wasn't to be around smoke due to the fact it could blow everybody up. He was a Vietnam Vet and would have to get up and leave when people fired up. People are very combative when it comes to smoking. I posted a similar question about whether people should respect the oxygen tanks and did they ever jump my case. They said to get in the "No Smoking" section or leave!
2007-10-10 00:31:34 · answer #6 · answered by ndnquah 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I work on "Cancer Row" and the best thing for those patients is when their family is there with them.I've seen some hang on for days just until their family arrived so that they could go in peace.You should go be with your father, you might regret one day that you weren't there with him during his time of need.Tell him you forgive him for his smoking and that you will pass the lesson on to others you love, so that it wasn't all in vain.It sounds weird but it does comfort a lot of people knowing these kinds of things.I wish all the best for you and your family during this trying time.
2007-10-10 00:28:41 · answer #7 · answered by ͏҉ ßõhrçmrïñsÿ★ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can really relate to what you are going through. My Dad was diagnosed with a rare form of internal melanoma and he passed away 8 weeks to the day of his diagnosis. He was able to stay home because his doctor made house visits and my Mom (a nurse) and I took total care of him those last weeks. Knowing that your Dad is not going to live very long, I would encourage you to spend as much time with him as you are able to. Hold his hand and let him know how much he is loved and share with him the special things that touch your heart about him. I know it is difficult to watch him go through the deterioration and loss of function of his body. People who are addicted to cigarettes and smoking seem to not be able to stop. I hope and pray that your Dad will pass soon in a peaceful manner. It is so hard to know that time is getting very short, but even harder to watch someone you love go through the process with cancer taking them from us. I know your Dad wished he didn't have to endure cancer and put his family through what it does to each of you but I am certain that he appreciates the fact that you are there for him. I am very sorry for you and your family and also for your Dad. I know that he will be at peace and will no longer suffer when God chooses the time to take him home. God bless you and give you comfort at this very difficult time. May all the good memories of times shared with your Dad bring you peace as you end a chapter in your lives together. I pray that you will be able to help others understand how difficult it is when you end up with a disease as a result of smoking. How I wish that no one ever got hooked. Try to be strong and supportive of your Dad as you go through this time in your life. I am praying for you.
2007-10-10 11:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by turkeybrooknj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahh thats so sad. My dad has had cancer twice & both times been told he had only months to live. (18yrs ago & 4 yrs ago) He has never given up his party life style drinks, drugs & smoking.....yes i have a peter pan dad! The body is a strange thing see he abuses it & still lives to fight another day. I think its his will to live....for the next party i guess! I hate smoking, but I cough all day long, have done for 40yrs, why i dont know. If your dads that bad & death is so close just tell him you love him & will always talk to him in your prayers. Ahh you will get over this in time. Bless you. xx
2007-10-10 00:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by sarahmac 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe God willing if He gives you the time and strength this would be an excellent time to make a documentary which would not only be a great venue for you dad to be able to express what he can before he goes but you and your family to express what they feel and to heal and share with others later on. Remember him for the good times and the things you shared unfortunately he made a bad decision in his life and truely this is a lesson he has taught you so you can pass it on but he I am sure taught you good things as well remember him for those. Blessings to you all.
2007-10-10 00:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by Darkchild 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋