Who, If Anyone Should Have the Dominant Role in a Relationship?

Question

Years ago, when my parents got together it was the days of the male going out to work and the female staying at home attending to the family home.

With the social climate ever changing and with women more career minded is there now a need for a dominant role in a relationship ?

Fantastic and diverse answers everyone !

Answer 1

I don't consider the person, be it man or woman, who stays at home to tend the household and mind the children as the submissive, inferior, or secondary person in a relationship. Nor do I consider the wage-earner/career person the dominate one. Both roles are equally important for a well-balanced family life.

The truth is that life is easier when there are two people working together to meet the needs, wants, desires, and goals of a life.

Where I am weak, he is strong. Where he is wanting, I am proficient. We lean on each other and learn from each other. There is no dominant one just two people taking on the tasks we do best for the betterment of the whole. I'd survive without him and he without me; but life would be much much harder.

Answer 2

I don't know if it should be seen as a domineering position.
I know that both, men and women need reassurance, affection, support, and love.
And they need it from each other and in some situations, we all get to play the dominant role: loss of a child; a parent; an accident; loss of jobs, etc...
At some point, one has to be what the other one is usually: the strongest link.
Our physical condition as female: built, periods, breast, and size, as well as hormones make us mostly more vulnerable than men.
Could that be why we want to snuggle up to them, to have them hold us tight and protect us?
Does that make them the dominant one?
Before, the role of men and women was clearly defined by society.
Today, things have pretty much changed: the society we live in, people's mentality and what they want.
So, the dominant one in a relationship is not necessarily the one you'd expect to be.
It's what suits the couple.
Some men are very happy to be a househusband.
Others, say clearly that all they do and quite happily is to bring the salary home.
So, it's clearly a question of balance for the couple. What works best for them and that depends on sensitivity, personality, expectations, beliefs and value in this modern society. And it's a good thing!

Answer 3

A relationship should be a partnership, just like making a home or raising children should be. I think the way society is changing at the moment is good as it seems both parents are being more equal when it comes to earning money and raising the children rather than those tasks being divided by gender.

Answer 4

A relationship should be equal. I don't know what you mean by dominant role. In somethings the man should lead in others it should be the woman.
Whom ever is the best at dealing with the problem should take the lead.
I do know that people who try to rule everything and boss their spouse around, usually ends up a lone and unhappy.

Answer 5

A good relationship takes work and comprimise. Dominance in a releationship is also based on personality. Some partners are more assertive and appear to be dominant. However, not everything is as it appears. I know my grandfather seemed to wear the pants in the family but my grandmother always knew exactily what to say to get her way, (making grandpa think it was his idea, lol).

Answer 6

From a Christian perspective, the "woman of noble character" in Proverbs was a shrewd businesswoman...she sold her goods at the city gate, she (not her husband) considered a field and bought it.

That being said, I highly doubt her husband was an insecure control freak who had to constantly remind her who the "head of the house" was in order to preserve his manly well-being.

"Leadership" in anything...business, relationships, parenting...is not being a dictator. Your most successful leaders in any climate encourage and nurture people to function at their highest potential. The "leader" as the servant...hmmm....who came up with that one? Wasn't it Jesus?

Men and women are wonderfully different. What if we look at the whole patriarchal concept of the man as the "head of the house" as a position of responsibility and accountability rather than a mandate of sovereign authority?

That's not to say that the traditional concept is flawed or wrong...if both parties are pleased with it, it is really nobody else's business. I think most of the time when there's trouble, people try to blame tradition or dogma or anything else, for that matter, instead of their own poor choices in choosing a partner. "Unequally yoked" doesn't just mean of the same faith...

Answer 7

I think you are probably looking at it all a bit too clean cut, yes our mothers probably stayed at home but that doesn't mean they were submissive, decisions abotu the house were made by them, they were normally in control of stuff like the decorating, what was eaten, what was worn and what was done in free time

A healthy relationship is always give and take with different roles for different people, I think now its just more likely that the domestic role is more evenly shared

Answer 8

My ex husband expected me to hold down a full time job, bring up 2 children and still keep the house, hence he's now my ex husband. I now do all of the above on my own which is no different to when he was around as he never did anything to help out around the house.
If I do get into another relationship i would want it to be equal.

Answer 9

parenting is for both of them, sure there is leave for women who have children so they can be with them growing up but I don't think its fair that she can't work because they have to look after the child....they should start by going back part time and then full time again while the child is in day care or a family member looking after them.

but I know a man who left work to look after him daughter because the woman left them both, he does do a part time job and says he will go back to full time when his daughter is in school all the time next year.

so personally it depends on who can stay off work and all that jazz.

ps sorry for blabbering on.

Answer 10

for me, it should be balance. my partner and I both believe in fairness in the relationship. i dont believe that someone should dominate a relationship purely. a relationship is supposed to be a partnership, not a one-way street. so both of you have the role to compromise, voice out your feelings and concerns and listen to the other person's views. compromise and giving are very important for a relationship to work out.