If I feed, walk, teach and play with my dog, she will see me as the "leader" and not my mother, right?

Question

Hello,

We're going to be going to the shelter soon to look for a dog to adopt, and I am VERY excited. I've been doing a lot of reading and researching on the breed Im interested in. We've looked into puppy "kindergarten" found the vet we want and everything.

Every animal we have had in the past has always been more of my moms pet I think.. and it always bugged me because they would sleep with her in her bed and never mine. But, she was the one who fed them and walked them since she ws up first...

Im much older now, and a lot more responsible. I want to be the one to feed her, walk her, bathe her, teach her tricks and everything else.. If I do this, will she be more of my dog? My mom says that the only reason the animals we had in the past followed her so much is because she fed them?

Thanks everyone

Upasana; Your answer contradicts some of the others who gave answers that actually make sense. You wont be chosen as best.

As a matter of fact, I will be here always.. there is less than 1% chance of the dog being alone with my mother. She works 12 hours a day and is hardly home. I graduated last may and work from home.

I never said I didnt want the dog to like my mom, I just meant I generaly want her to be more my animal. Im just remembering all the animals we had in the past and no matter how much I played with them, they wanted to be with my mother more. This is why I came here to ask questions.

And the breed Im looking at is a lab mix. (:

Answer 1

If your the one that looks after it then it will see you as boss. But if your mum disciplines it instead of you then it will still see her as boss.

Answer 2

Ideally with a lab mix the dog will think everyone else is the leader LOL....of course depending what the mix is.

If you are the one spending the most time with it, training it and feeding it, then yes it will know you are its leader.

Some important tips:
The key to having a close bond with a dog is more than just who feeds and bathes it. Training (which most people see as making sure the dog comes when called and doesn't jump on people) makes a HUGE difference.

People who really train/work with their dogs can develop a bond where the dog almost seems to know what they are thinking and anticipate what they want them to do. It looks like you work from home which is great if you can take 10-15 minutes breaks a couple of times during the day plus lunch. You can fit in little mini sessions of training.

Work on basic obedience first and get that all squared away---sit, stay, heel etc. take classes from someone who is a good instructor. Socialize your dog and make sure anyone can handle it. check out the akc's CGC program. It means Canine Good Citizen and your dog doesn't have to be a registered purebred to earn the title.

See what your dog is good at and try some other doggie events--like agility and flyball neither of which require a reg. purebred and are tons of fun for labs.

Watch a really good agility dog run a course and it is amazing how the dog pays such good attention to the handler that if she squares her shoulders the wrong way she can inadverdently point the dog to the wrong obstacle.

WHOA! I am getting ahead of myself. Let's go back to when you get the dog home.

You may want to discuss the following ideas with the place where you adopt to make sure the dog doesn't have food issues first.

For the first few weeks do NOT feed the dog from a bowl. Measure the dry kibble into a sealable container, take some out and put it in a bag in your pocket. You will be refilling the bag throughout the day---you measure it out in the am to make sure you aren't under or over feeding.

When the dog approaches you, give it a couple of pieces of kibble. If the dog sits---a couple of pieces of kibble. When the dog looks at you and makes eye contact---a couple of pieces of kibble.

After a bit start saying the dog's name when he approaches and then :) kibble. Work up to saying his name (not come or here, just the name) and giving kibble for a look and more for an approach. ****use the food as a reward, not a lure. You are not using the food to get the dog's attention.

The idea is that you are the source of some really good stuff---but nothing comes for free---and you are teaching the dog to pay attention to you. Google "attention training "and "nothing in life is free" (NILF) training for more info. Yes, eventually you will be feeding from a bowl and the dog will come to you without food.

Clicker training is good too---google it and Karen Pryor.

The stuff I have described is used by some people I know who are totally in tune with their dogs. Their dogs have excellent recall and pay wonderful attention (when necessary they aren't robots) and they don't have to resort to some of the harsher methods of training dogs that are out there.

Probably more than you wanted to know LOL But I thought it might help....Good luck with your new dog.


PS Try looking at www.petfinder.com for a lab rescue or other rescue near you that "fosters" their dogs in homes. They will be able to give you a better idea of a dog's background, temperment and personality than a shelter where a dog's true personality is hard to see. They can "match" you with a dog that suits your family best.


PPS !!! PUPPY--sorry missed the puppy K reference somehow. Get this book: "Before and After Your Get Your Puppy" by Dr. Ian Dunbar.

Personally I would recommend an adult dog from a rescue that's already housebroken and has some of the energy tuned down. Puppies are so all over the place mentally---with an adult dog you'll settle in and start to bond right away and in a few months you'll have a great companion while with a pup you'll be going through teething. :(

Answer 3

Yes. The provider is the alpha. Some people provide for their dogs and yet the dogs rule the house, because the owner doesn't discipline them, but it doesn't sound like you will let that happen. Another important thing to remember is that the leader always eats first. Only feed your dog after you eat, because the dog will understand this.
Even if the dog isn't bad behaviorwise, and you have the money to spend, obedience classes are a great idea. They show you how to train your dog and be the leader. Petco and Petsmart have these classes, but you should always go talk to the trainers first to get an idea of how they train. I work at one of those stores, and did the class with my dog (we have an excellent trainer) and even though he wasn't that bad when we first adopted him, he does much better and listens. The class also will teach you the basics that you will need to know when you want to teach the dog tricks.
Good luck with the new dog!

Answer 4

You should really check out the book The Monks of New Skete (I believe this is the title -- do a search for dog training and monks and it will definitely come up). I read this when I thought I was getting a puppy and it teaches all about raising a puppy so that you can become the pack leader. There is no negative reinforcement and it doesn't train your dog to rely on food as a reward, rather, petting. It also talks about the benefits of crate training, and has cured my fear of leaving a pup in a crate for 3 hours.

EDIT:

I forgot to mention, the Monks have two books: one for puppy obedience and one for obedience of a full grown dog. They have illustrated pictures and it is VERY easy to read, as it is like no other dog training book I have ever picked up in my life. The puppy book is called "The Art of Raising a Puppy."

A lab mix is a good idea for a family pet. Good luck with everything.

Answer 5

Even if you do all of this, your dog might still see your mom as pack leader due to the way you two interact with one another. That's ok though. Spend a lot of time with your doggie, and love him/her, train him/her well, and s/he will always listen to you (and your mother)
Give him a cozy place to sleep in your room with you. Always have fun with your doggie. Congrats on wanting to pick one up at the shelter, and it's good to see you've done your research!! Note though, that you can always learn more when it comes to dogs!! :)
BTW what breed are you looking at?

I also agree that EVERYONE in the house should be able to do everything you do with the dog, i.e., follow commands and behave for everyone, but if YOU are the one to train the dog, it will see you as boss.


***reading your new details, this will definitely be your dog! If you're home all day with it, of course. All dogs want to do is spend time with their new "parents".
Labs are SUPER sweet generally, and once again, thanks for getting a rescue!

Answer 6

Naturally dogs are pack animals and will always have a LEADER OF THE PACK.
As you are prepared to take full responsibility the dog will see you as the LEADER.
Start with the training as you mean to go on and you should live happily ever after with your dog being a good citizen.
Useful hints from an author Jan Fennell and also The Dog Whisperer which is shown on TV.

Answer 7

properly, i'm 18 now yet when I have been given him, i replace into basically sixteen, so he continues to be technically my mom and dad. They purchase each and every thing. i've got not got a activity. I had needed a canine for thus long and that i reported that if she offered me a canine, i might bypass to college primary and get reliable grades (i replace into dropped out of faculty on the time). My mom agreed. She offered me him as a christmas/birthday recent (it replace into VERY planned, so no person freak out) and that i've got lived as much as my contract. She will pay for each thing until I graduate intense college and get a activity. I practice him, stroll him, freshen up after him, feed him, all of that, I do exactly no longer pay for something...different than grooming, I could desire to pay for that :// yet sure, I evaluate him MY canine and so does my mom :] Lol this makes me sound like the style of spoiled brat, i'm in all probability going to get some TD's, yet I savour and love my mom for it lots :D happy St. Patricks Day!!

Answer 8

The dogs are very powerful mind readers and they soon understand the force of love in you for him.With your plan to feed,teach,walk and play with the dog , the dog is likely to take you either as mother or as some one equal to him.Anyway,raising a dog gives immense pleasure,making you to forget your other worries and keep your thoughts occupied all the time.

Answer 9

you are correct. you sound very organised with your future dog and even found a daycare for it! not a lot of dog owner's do that. i have looked after my dog ever since i got him at 3 months. i walk him, feed him, wash him, play with him, i do everything that he needs done with him because i'm the person mainly responsible for him and the person who wants to look after him. if you feel that way too which you seem like you do, your dog will definitely see you as the boss and he will be loyal and look up to you. labs are fairly easier to train compared to other dogs and loyal, calm dogs too so i'm sure you will have a great life with him and he will have a great one with you. dogs see whoever treats them well and spend more time with them as their "leader" but they should also listen to your other family members too

also, unless its a lab puppy, it may be a little hard for your dog to sleep with you if you plan on letting him sleep with you. it would be best to get a bed for him. this also helps with reducing dog hair on your bed and showing your dog that you're the dominant one because he isnt allowed to sleep on your bed, making him equal with u
good luck!

Answer 10

Animals like dogs are pack animals. They need to have a pack leader and if you are the one who takes care of them then you are their" pack leader". But you should watch Cesar Milan's (The Dog Whisperer) show's to get a good back ground as to how to be a good leader or at least read one of his books. The dog will be yours if you take the most care of it I think. They're very loyal animals and love their owners. I wish you good luck.

Answer 11

I am not the dog person in this house and have not fed any of them but they always liked me best until now. This is the first female and she likes my husband better.
I don't know if that is true but it is something to consider that the male dogs like the female owners and vice versa.