Wifes parents are a problem!?

Question

My wife's parents ring us every night. In most cases there is nothing to talk about so all i hear is 'yes, yep, imm'. It has got to the point were it is driving us both crazy.
If fact I'm am the one who is becoming more pissed off because my wife won't talk to her mother about the problem and that is causing issues between us!

Lets review. First we are both annoyed because my wife's parents are ringing every night. My wife won't discuss the problem with her mother. Now there are problems between my wife and myself.

What do i need to do to resolve the situation?

My wife won't let me talk with her mother because she thinks i will be insensitive. Help! I am sick of being in this position.

Yes i understand those referring to the bible but clearly you have not been in this situation. My wife and i have a good relationship and we have a daughter of our own but would not call her every night. There has to become a point where enough is enough. I am sure that 'the mother inlaw' is not called by her mother or father every night.

We want to live our own 'individual' life. Is this to much to ask.

I'm not saying cut them off but wanting them not to live in our back pocket.

Answer 1

Don't answer the phone, instead you should both go out in the yard and play.

Answer 2

The Bible says thy should honor thy father and mother. By doing so you will receive a great reward. Do you have children? Do you want to make sure they are safe? I don't know how many siblings she has if any. Was there a closeness with mother/daughter? If all the children have flown the coup, the parents may be a bit lonely and need to hear the loving voice of their child. Parents don't live forever. You never know from minute to minute if they will be here the next minute. I say that because my daddy passed on in just the wink of an eye. My mother has also passed. She used to call me quite a bit. It was annoying at times, expecially when I wanted to sleep longer in the mornings, and the phone would ring. Well, I wish that phone could ring in the morning now. I would gladly rise and talk. To have the love of a parent is something to not take lightly. Get the negativity and coldness out of your heart and thank God that your wife has a parent and a friend all in one. Think positive and look forward to that call. Better yet, the parent may enjoy being the receiver of the call at times. Think of things to spoil these in-laws. Being negative is only a head-ache. It is all in the frame of mind. Put a smile on your face, and say oh it's your mom, say hello for me. You don't want your marriage to be a bad as your relationship with your in-laws. Love one another for love is of God.

Answer 3

Usually when things of this nature are going on one of the spouses is trying to get rid of parents permanently. I surely hope you have not been bought by and sold into the anti-family movement when you begin to represent family the day you get married also.

Phone calls that happen once a week or much less are being labeled and communicated as once a day. I've seen it.

Grandparents wanting to spend time with their grandchildren are being labeled insane by their sons and daughters. I've seen it.

Young adults picking fights with their parents for no reason or reasons of their own unhealthy relationships with others such as their spouse or yet another person. I've seen it.

And I definitely am not the only one seeing this going on.

These are not healthy family systems they are dysfunctional with having very little reason to be other than selfishness, immaturity, and no ability to see what's really going on in this world.

Sons and daughters: your parents will always be your parents and you will always be their sons and daughters. Getting married does not change family it extends family. Getting a divorce does not alter blood relations. Turning 18 means it's time for a goal not war with family. Parents are human beings and you are human beings and so whole lives are much healthier. Those that *need* your families to be chaos also need your wallet and so proof there are only so many people who are dangerous in this world despite age. The rest are getting caught up in anti-family intrusion so pick your friends wisely and good friends are still out there. If you let family breakdown happen then pay the price....learn to communicate and learn to love and preserve your family and those who love and respect theirs. Learn to love enough to communicate, hear, and understand in kind.

If you feel I am an activist go right ahead...I am actively involved in preserving the family and you?

Answer 4

I completely understand how you feel. I have a best friend that is the same way. At one time, we were really close and had so much fun together and now we are roommates and she calls me from work just to "see what i'm doing", and she calls me when she knows i'm busy with something just to hold conversation. I give her short answers, and she still doesn't get the clue. I hate to be rude to her and tell her how I feel, so i've decided the best way to go about this is to start ignoring her calls or narrowing them down a little. I think you should tell your wife maybe limiting the time she talks on the phone would help things and make them a little better...just start off slowly and trust me, it'll all get better! Hope this helps..

Answer 5

Listen to Good Question!!

Once again it is soooo amusing to see the contrast in answers when a son-in-law is asking the question.

In the discover area of this site put in mother-in-law and you will get a whole bunch of answers to this very same question only answered by daughter-in-laws.

If your wife was asking this the answers would be questioning your manhood, calling you a momma's boy, ect., ect..

I am 100 percent behind family but if it is to much and compromising your marriage something should be done.

EDIT: Here is a good example, try and find the question "Choose me or mommy" in the family section about 14 hours ago. So amusing to see the answers women will give to other women!

Answer 6

To be honest, getting a phone call every night just to chit chat about nothing isn't something to get stressed over. I understand it's annoyance - and I understand that the problem is that your wife won't talk to her mother about the fact that is bothing the two of you.

Give it some time. She won't call as much anymore. Consider yourselves blessed that you have in-laws that want to be a part of your lives and that are supportive of your relationship. It could be much worse.

At the time her mother calls instead of chit-chatting say, "Hey, sorry we've just started a movie but we'll call you soon". After that it may be a bit later in the evening and there won't be much time to talk before bed. This gives you and your wife time to yourselves as well as decreases the amount of time your in-laws want to spend talking to your wife.

Answer 7

If you are living in one house hold with each other then get a place of your own. You are married to your wife not your parents. The relationship you had with your parents is no longer the same. your first responsibility is to your wife and child. If your not living with them then stay away until everyone can chill out!

Answer 8

Parents like to check in with their children when they are lonely or scared or they just plain ol' miss their children. Let them call you and talk to her for a few minutes, it's not going to kill any one, you may feel a little inconvenienced for about 15 minutes, but it's not worth ruining your relationship over it. Think about when you are their age and your children are out of the house, you may miss them completely and just amy want to hear their voice. Or like when you call your wife for no reason at all ( if you that sort of thing ), and she's only your wife, these people raised her and love her too.

Remember put yourself into other people's shoes before you get so upset, please.

Answer 9

U'll sound wise & nice if u could tell ur mum-in law in a polite manner " Hmm..y not 4 a change, we 'll calling u from now on ..and that is when we have time to call u auntie. Thank u 4 being so understanding. I really do apperciate ur care & love auntie"Pls dun mistake me, we need our space too, thank u "

Try it,it 'll work & best wishes!

Answer 10

If the parents are nice, there is nothing wrong with getting phone calls. Be happy that there are people in the world who care about you.

Answer 11

What I have done in the past is simply don't answer the phone. After a while, the calls tend to get fewer and fewer.