Any ideas how it get my 5 year old to be better at following directions?

Question

She is wonderful and sweet. Wise beyond her years but, like her Daddy she has a one track mind. Any advice would be great. We are out of ideas.

Answer 1

Stop comparing her to her father who is an ADULT. You are talking about a small 5 year old CHILD. At five her mind doesn't work like an adults, she doesn't have the retentative powers as an adult. That is WHY consitency and repetiveness is very important. Only advice I have is stop expecting her to think like an adult.

Answer 2

At 5 years of age they should be able to do what is called the 3 step. In other words like this: Wash your hands, brush your teeth and put on your pajamas. Let me know when you've finished. And just see how long it takes. She's also old enough to learn about consequences. The best thing we ever bought was a TIMER (just a regular egg timer) for us to use when our son went into the bathroom to brush and wash. You first have to establish "time" limits. Say this, "Your favorite show starts in 10 minutes and if you don't have your room clean by the time the timer goes off you will NOT be able to watch it" (or course it doesn't have to be tv, can be going to park, or playing outside). The key here is to put the timer where SHE and YOU can hear it. Let her HEAR the bell and what it sounds like. Let her know it's to help HER. Also the sticker charts work great...have a look:
http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com/charts/ however the KEY here to the charts is that SHE is involved in the rewards process. Five is a very hard age to totally understand what's expected...you have to first SHOW her what you actually want her to do. It does get better.

Answer 3

Kids like that just need less directions at once. My sister was always like that and always ended up crying because she could not remember everything. Its a simple fix, just give her 2 things and have her come back, eventually my sister outgrew it but really not until she was around 12, and pressure about it only makes it worse because then they worry about forgetting and loose track again. My youngest tends to be that way and I figure that is a small flaw that will get better in time, getting upset about it just makes her feel bad about herself. Sometimes making sure she is looking at me when I talk to her and have her repeat it back before she goes to do it helps, but basically I just remind her a lot and she is 6.5 and that is still very young. Sometimes when your kids are smart or wise beyond their years we tend to set to high of expectations for them, you have to step back and remember they are only 5 or 6.5 and at times they will act like a typical 5 yr old.

Answer 4

Do you think the hard part is that she doesn't remember what she's supposed to do? Or she just does what she wants, against your will?

If she's purposely going against your wishes, obviously punishment when she doesn't do what you ask and praise/reward when she does do it are good ways to take care of this.

If you are concerned that she might not be understanding your instructions, you can have her repeat back to you what she is supposed to do after you have told her. Or you could ask her a series of questions, like this:
A: I want you to take this shirt into your room and put it in your closet. Ok, what will you take with you?
B: The shirt.
A: Where will you put it?
B: The closet.
A: Good listening! Go for it.

She might even have a problem like an auditory processing disorder. You might do well to have her evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychologist who works with children.

I wish you and your family well.

Answer 5

Break the directions down to simpler terms. Give her one step at a time. At that age they simply have other things on their minds. You might try the love and logic approach also. Google love and logic and you'll find their website.

Answer 6

you look her in the eye. Give the instruction with no more than two things (ie: go to the bedroom and2)get your sock) then get her to repeat it back so you know it has been heard