Any good jokes out there to make me forget that I got rid of my bf last week and have no one to spend my b-day with!!
2007-10-09 18:06:39 · 14 answers · asked by PEGGY S 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I know that blonde. She lives about 30 miles north of me!!
2007-10-09 18:51:06 · update #1
Good Luck Big Mamma!!
Thanks to all. I feel better already!!
2007-10-09 19:46:35 · update #2
Happy birthday Peggy! Hope you like this...
Lemon Squeeze
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon
entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad,
passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons
into a glass and then drink the juice."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."
2007-10-09 21:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by daniel*wm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE JOKE::::
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, - "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!!!"
2007-10-09 18:39:39 · answer #2 · answered by Alice M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
!st of all, happy birthday Peggy!!!! I wish I knew some way to cheer you up, but I know at times like these you should stay in close contact with any friends & family that you have. If it makes you feel better I just found pictures of my husband with some hot blond chic wearing not much clothes when he went to Sturgis (biker rally) on his cell phone & when I checked the picture info they were taken like 1/2 hour apart, so he must have spent some time with this woman! I can't wait to hear his story in the morning!
2007-10-09 19:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Second...
While I was watching football this weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle.
She got up, unplugged the TV, and dumped out my beer.
2007-10-10 03:58:26 · answer #4 · answered by Alexiolim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday dear Peggy...
My Joke for you,
Q, What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A, Pregnant.
2007-10-09 19:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Magic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday to you.
You are free as the wind and be happy.
No Jokes for birthday , you must ask gifts
the next time. They might send you never know
, may a handsome of your dream
2007-10-10 23:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by hwa g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be Yourself! (by Nancye Sims)
This is the best and only person you can be.
Don't take away from your uniqueness by trying to change it.
Being yourself leads to success.
Being someone you are not, to failure.
Use your time and energy to make the most of who you are -
to build yourself up.
not tear them down.
Be yourself!
Care about and consider the feelings of those closest to you,
but don't allow others to tell you how to think, feel, be or live.
Only you have the right to make these important decisions.
Be yourself!
If others reject you, don't be hard on youself.
Their rejection has nothing to do with who you are;
it has to do with who they are.
Be yourself!
Be honest, because if you aren't, it will be impossible for you
to feel good about yuorself,
and for others to feel good about you.
Self-respect begins with honesty;
the respect of others comes as a result of your own respect for yourself.
Be yourelf!
Accept yourself as being imperfect, but not unlovable,
for your strengths
far exceed any weaknesses.
Embrace the goodness in you;
there is more there than you acknowledge.
Be yourself!
You are a part of the universe, not by accident, but by design.
You have a special place and purpose.
Trust your creator.
There's a star in the sky with your name on it.
Claim that star and let it shine.
for you...
for others..
for a world whose survival depends on light..
let it shine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEGGY!!
2007-10-09 20:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by Lana_Luna_Soraya 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
are you atleast 21? you should be at the bar taking in as many free drinks as you can get. oh and finding a new bf. well find a bf before you drink.
wait a minute. you have 2 kids. you should be happy as s h i t to have them around.
virgin drinks for you 3.
2007-10-09 18:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Happy birthday Peggy!!!
2007-10-09 20:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
happy birthday 2 uuuuuuuuuuu
happy birthday 2 uuu
happy birthday 2 u dear peggy happy birthday 2 YOU!! ^^
2007-10-09 19:45:39 · answer #10 · answered by lucifer 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋