I make friends with people but i always see the negative sidesof them. I see them as annoying and boring. I am not mean and sometimes i have to pretend just because I have to be nice to the person. Even if you dont like the person you have to be nice to them. Everyone thinks im nice. But doesn't it feel like im pretending? I think of everyone's bad side inside yet act nice on the outside? Im tired of pretending. I only show my meaness to my family because i care about everyone else but my family. As in i care about everyone else's feelings.
2007-10-09 17:59:26 · 23 answers · asked by Beautiful Glory 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You shouldn't have to pretend that you like someone for fear of hurting their feelings. I'm sure you're not a mean person. If you're pretending you like the person even though they are boring and annoying, you're just wasting your energy on someone who in the end doesn't really matter in your life one way or another. You should work on being, "The Real You" at all times. Life is just too short to worry about what people think of you.
2007-10-09 18:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by PURR GIRL TORI 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hear ya loud and clear on this one. I personally get disappointed with myself when this happens too. As I get older, I also get more cynical. It could be you had one or more close friends that really hurt you sometime in the past, or your trust was broken by them for some prior event. Whatever the case, everything I have read about this indicates a self esteem issue, and typically you are looking for some attention of some kind, and you probably dislike the people that are getting even a small portion of attention. I know I do this with smarter people, almost as if it's a competition or something, so I tend to look for bad things in them. I know it's a tough thing as I try and cope myself with it everyday. Changing who you are is a very difficult task, words just can't do it. As you do get older, friends become hard to come by, so just keep that in mind. I have very few (if any) really close friends. I've started to pour my life into my kids, but at a cost of not wanting to be around people anymore, which probably has a negative effect on my kids too.
I just want to give you my perspective so you know it won't get better unless you are prepared to look at yourself and somehow build up your confidence in who you are and where you fit in with life. As quoted from a song I knew, "If you want to be somebody else, change your mind".
Hopefully this helps. Good luck !
2007-10-11 02:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by gw_subscribe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would help to know if you're an introvert or an extrovert. My guess would be that you're an introvert. If so, that's the problem right there. It's tough nowadays to have relationships with people when you are an introvert because everyone gets it fed into their heads by the media that it's only socially acceptable to be a go-getter, aggressive, family independent extrovert with a trillion close friends. Western families have a difficult time staying close because of this ridiculous phenomenon. Either way, I sympathize with your plight.
2007-10-09 18:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should not have to be mean to anyone to demonstrate that you care for them.
And to those that get on your nerves and you don't like because you realize that they're bad people or jerks, maybe you should let them know in a nice way.
For example, you may have a friend who is really mean to girls and just goes out to them to sleep with them or for money. Bring it to his attention and tell him why you are bothered by his actions.
Don't ever pretend.
2007-10-09 18:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by rogue3838 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because the average person is a loser. Most people have so many mental and social malfunctions that by the time you get to know the person you've just wasted that much time. You have a high self esteem, which is good, as long as it doesn't secret through your personality into making you look like a snob. Be careful of your content, it makes you look like your bragging. That's not good. Just understand and be sociable. You don't have to like people.
2007-10-09 18:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yeah....i can relate. I think people like us are kind of negative and have some anger so we tend to pick apart that person whom we don't even know, and we are fed up meeting people and are impatient so we want to move on to the next friend asap. I used to be like that and i can truly say today , when i meet someone and the second they get to me and i'm annoyed I look at their good or imagine that person's hardships and elimanate the devils whispers to me in a way being negative and its like a light switch and all of a sudden i see them differently and like them more. That doesn't mean that they have to be your friend , but whenever you do run into them it can be really cordial. I used to see this guy at work and hear him all the time talking and talking , over hear him telling stupid jokes and I found out after one yr of my observations that he used to sleep in his van in our employee parking lot because his wife kicked him out of the house and that he had noone to talk to but the employees at work. That is one guys story and to a degree that is everyone of in some way. The annoying things to others might be our pain and our method of coping with it.......
2007-10-09 18:31:40 · answer #6 · answered by mna 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's quite mean! you shouldn't be friends with people you don't feel comfortable with. maybe you're not looking in the right place. there's a saying that goes 'if you find one good friend in your lifetime, you're lucky'. that rule must really apply for you. or, it may be that you need to change your attitude. try to be more optimistic. you might even need professional help. stop being mean to your family. they are the ones you'll need the most in life. they'll always be there for you.everyone has a bad side but everyone also has a good side. try to look for that good side in yourself. you won't get too far in life (im talking relationship-wise) with that attitude. try to forget about the bad things in your friends and focus on the good things.
2007-10-09 18:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Secret Girl Advisor 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Every person you meet has good qualities! You just need to open your eyes and look past what you see on the outside. I think you are struggling with some issues with yourself... and once you get past those issues, you'll be much more positive towards your family and other individuals that you dislike.
2007-10-09 18:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by Ang 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know what you mean. Sometimes I think I would be the perfect candidtate to be on a 1 man shuttle to the moon.
2007-10-09 18:02:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think I am the same way. I am nice to everyone but my family. I don't even understand why. I am the meanest to my dad.
2007-10-09 18:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by Nik-Nak 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋