She doesn't need help with rent. I do not even have money. She wants me to spend my SS money which I am putting away for college since I am going to be the one that ends up paying for my education. She could have at least waited until a few days after my birthday.
I'm already having a sucky birthday and she just made it worse.
2007-10-09 17:53:53 · 31 answers · asked by creep show 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For your information, I do have a job. I only work part-time since I'm a high school student so I get paid NOTHING. And my brother never paid rent and he moved out when he was 21.
2007-10-09 17:57:30 · update #1
I can't live anywhere else since she is my only family member on this side on the country. I'm just upset since my brother didn't have to pay a dime. I make $300 dollars a month and a lot of that goes to my savings for college and so that I could get transportation to get myself to and from school/work
2007-10-09 17:59:00 · update #2
Same thing happened to me. (It still irritates me, and I am now 41 years old!). I can't imagine doing that to my kid when they would still be in high school.
Sorry about your birthday sucking - hang in there!
2007-10-09 17:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by me_myself_&_eye 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That really sucks, I am sorry. However, this is a great time to practice something that people who on there own have to all them time. Determine what is more cost effective. If you feel that your mother is not going to be moved on the matter, then you have some homework to do. Find out how much your mother pays on rent/house payment, and then figure out how much space you are taking up and how much resources you are using (i.e. square footage of your room, and what %of the power and water bill). Then do some shopping. See if you can find a place to live that is in total cheaper ( meaning rent and utilities). Also, factor in safety if you are going to be on your own then you want to be sure that you are in a safe place. If you find a place and then get a few roommates I am sure that you are going to be able to make this happen. College students due this all the time. However if the rent that your mother wants you to pay is a price that just can't be beat, then the best decision may be to stay where you are, even if it is a pain in the a_ _.
One of the ways that you can help yourself out is by having a job. If you already have a job then look for a higher paying job or ask for a raise at work. This will also help you out when you apply for a loan for college tuition. Even if you get a scholarship you will probably still need a little extra help (most people do), and banks love people that are employed. Sorry that your birthday sucks, but keep studying and keep saving all that you can. Education is the best way to help your situation. If you want some help with the legwork let me know.
2007-10-10 01:16:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe suggest an alternative "time" to pay rent if your still living at home after High School (if you don't go into college right away). Perhaps bring up your brother's situation that he didn't have to pay until 21.
Finding roommates is also an alternative. However, living on your own, or with friends, brings on new responsibilities and most likely will need more than just a PT job.
2007-10-10 01:01:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am sorry that you think this is 'unfair.' But I can see that she is preparing you for the real world. As for saving money for college, why not apply for Financial Aid and scholarships? It is there for those who do not have the money to pay for college.
As for the fact that she didn't make your brother pay rent: I cannot speak for her, but from the sounds of it she learned her lesson and wants you to pay rent and that she should have had your brother pay rent while he was still there.
Get as many hours as you can at work to get more pay. Apply for all the scholarships you can (contact your high school guidance counselor for help with this) and for Financial Aid (again go to your counselor for help). You should have no problem paying for college that way, if you qualify (financial aid goes by your parents income if you are under 24, even if you don't live at home, from what I remember).
What is your SS money? Is this Social Security? If so, then you are probably on SSI, which means that it will end when you are out of high school (if not sooner because of being 18), they may have you refile for yourself which means you get the money yourself instead of having your mom the payee, or they will transfer everything to your name soon because of your age. If it is SSI you are getting, then you need to find out what is going to happen with this money and what they will require you to do to keep receiving it.
Good luck! The real world is hard, and can be cold. It is up to you, now that you are 18 and no longer considered a child, to take care of things yourself instead of having your mom or someone else do it for you. It takes hard work at times, but it is worth it in the end.
2007-10-10 01:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by honey 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
A lot of college students don't have cars. They just grab rides from students who do. As for a job, you can take the bus. But you are 18 now and a legal adult. I see nothing wrong with what your mother is asking. You seem to be concerned about money for college, but have you applied for student loans? You said you have social security money, so is it possible for you to get a grant too? My son just started college and he does have a car. He put his rent on his student loan so he wouldn't have to worry about the extra cost since he's only working part time. Your mother is trying to teach you responsibility and maybe she made a mistake in not making your brother pay, so she wants you to benefit from this situation. When you grow up and mature, you'll appreciate what she's doing instead of resenting her for it.
2007-10-10 10:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First off, happy birthday! I'm sorry you're having a sucky b-day. My 18th b-day wasn't that great either, so I can totally sympathize.
As for your question. Cool down, take a few deep breaths, and then sit down with your mom, and go over your finances with her. Ask her what paying rent will mean for your freedom. Are you still going to have a curfew? What kinds of rules are you going to have to follow? How much rent does she expect? If she's willing to accept less than 25% of your monthly income, that's fair. But I think she should wait until you're out of school. My mom didn't expect me to pay rent until I was out of school. After that, I was allowed about $300 spending money every month, and I paid her $500 out of my SS check. Then I got a job (didn't get my first one until I was nineteen, so you're ahead of where I was), and I bought my own groceries, toiletries, and clothes. However, I had a full apartment, not just a room (bedroom, living room, kitchen, dining room, and bathroom).
Just cool down and discuss it with her. I don't think it's fair for you to have to pay rent if you're still in school, but if you're out of school, I hate to say it, but it IS fair. Other answerers are right, and your mother probably IS trying to teach you responsibility. Awfully rough way to go about it, though. I wish you the best of luck...I remember how hard it was for me when I first became an adult...it wasn't that long ago (I'm only twenty-six).
And try to smile, you're an adult now! Congrats! And it sounds like you're well on your way towards being responsible!
2007-10-10 04:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by The_Cricket: Thinking Pink! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Awww Im sorry. Happy Birthday!!!!!! Apply for student loans, and financhial aid I ASSURE you that you will more than likely qualify. Anybody trying to go to College these days have unlimited possibilities so I wish you the best with that. As far as paying rent, ask your mom in the mean time if you dont work if you can do chores or anything to compensate for rent. Start applying for some jobs, and saving money is essential. I hope everything works out, best of luck!
2007-10-10 01:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jeff 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Some parents do that. They want to teach their kids responsibility. Some will give it back to thier kids when the kid goes off to college or whatever. Others will pocket it for their own personal use.
But the hard part is they want to charge you for rent, then your part of the groceries and the electricity; but then they still hold you responsible for the chores you had before the rent charges.
You can stay with her or find a few friends to share a place.
But make sure it's ppl you can trust. Otherwise you may be paying the full rent for the month instead of just your part.
2007-10-10 01:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by captn_carrot 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
are you able to talk to your mother and ask her why she didnt make your brother pay rent?? maybe she is just going through a phase because you are 'growing up so fast' in her eyes. or she might think she's being a good mother by teaching you how you would have to live without her. either way, its upsetting you heaps so try and talk to her. if matters get too worse, ask the school councellor to mediate the two of you
good luck
ps: i had to live on my own since i was 14years so i know how scarey it may be, but i finished high school with high grades and i am now studying at college... its more rewarding when you do it yourself, like you are by saving
2007-10-10 03:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by ~CHLOE~ Mother to 2 gorgeous boys 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You and Mom need to sit down and talk. Ask her if she wants you to go to college....then find out what her definition of "rent" is surely she already knows that you work part-time and aspire to go to college so she may not ask for all your paycheck but a contribution, Seeing that your brother didn't help out maybe she wants you to learn responsibility...as a parent myself I know my job is to see to it that my children can survive long after I'm gone...then my job would be accomplished...So with that said don't get mad think about it in different terms usually a parents goal is not what the son or daughter thinks..also by you making some kind of an effort or money contribution it will show your Mom you want to help
2007-10-10 01:04:39 · answer #10 · answered by only1sol2000 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That sucks.
But you are an adult now, and she is trying to teach you responsibility and also push you to stand on your own two feet.
My parents pulled the same stunt, based on the advice of a retarded friend of my mother. I paid them six months in advance and told them I'd be gone before I owed them more money. I was right.
In retrospect, however, they had a good point. They were great parents and they taught me to stand on my own two feet. At the age of 23, with no co-signer, or financial help from anyone, I purchased my first home.
I have a little tip. If your mom comes up with a figure like say $25 per week, tell her you'd like to pay monthly, to get you used to paying rent in the real world. Then say there are four weeks in a month, and tell her you'll pay $100 per month. Since there are more than 28 days in a month (except February) you get some free days. $100 per month is $1,200 per year. Whereas if you'd paid $25 per week it would be $1,300 per year. It's a small saving, but it always made me feel like I had gotten a better deal ;)
Get yourself to college, if it means taking out every student loan there is. It's worth it, and you'll be independent sooner.
Happy Birthday and enjoy being an adult! Sadly, in America, you'll get most of the responsibilities right now, but until you are 21, you will still be treated like a child in many respects, such as not being allowed to drink.
Whatever you do, good luck. Trust me, life gets to be a lot of fun from here.
Update: I'd use the brother argument to negotiate your weekly rent down, then finally hit her with the monthly concept and save even more. If she wants $40 per week you should be able to get it down to $20, and then finally offer her $80 per month. So now you just saved yourself $1,120 per year!
2007-10-10 00:56:57 · answer #11 · answered by ZCT 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋