im 22 years old and have never had a gf,and never really even had a girl interested in me that i have liked. my virginity is not a choice, girls just dont like me! it seems i always fall straight into the friend wagon, never the boyfriend. this has made me lose self confidence to the point where i really dont see myself picking up ever again! lately I have been getting really depressed about it, especially when i have mates talking about going out with a girl or taking them home, something i can't relate to but wish i could! I am quite ugly and do understand why most girls aren't really into me (short, overweight, pale, freckles, bad scar across my nose, bad teeth, very hairy back and chest...etc). I have contemplated suicide, however really just couldn't do it to my family and friends..... I am too embarassed to talk to anyone i know about it, mainly cos i feel like im just whinging....im fit and healthy, i should be happy!
2007-10-09 17:53:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hey i used to be the same way but even worse looking you wont believe a guy can that bad looking and on top of it i have crohns disease and yea i also have contemplated suicide. but instead you know what i did. i worked on my body i said to myself im not goin to let this stuff keep me down. Do you know is worse then short and overweight is boney skinny and 6 feet tall thats how skinney i was because of my crohns disease. I had TERRIBLE ACNE i captillazied it because it was that terrible, all my teeth had gaps between them and on top of that i had 2 teeth growing on the side ( it was so bad that everytime i wanted to smile and laugh i almost cryed because the thought of my teeth came into my mind), i had a huge birth mark on the side of my face that had ance on top of it, and then to make it even worse i was wearing glasses. AND then it took time but i was going to make it my goal to fix up everything, i went got braces and got inplantes, and i went to dermatolgist had surgery done on my face now i got no acne and no huge birth mark, and i went to ophthalmologist and had laser eye surgery done, and i worked on building muscle. AND then finaly i was looking better than ever i took care of everything and on every step of the way i thanked God. I started laughing and smileing more, i got into pictures which i used to stay out of becuase of how i looked, i got a gf. I feel like that i am hope for every terrible looking guy to start looking good if he makes it his hightest goal.
2007-10-09 18:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by hammy 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Those problems with your appearance are mostly solvable.
Wax that back, just go to your local beautitary (?) and ask about waxing.
Spend some time outside without a shirt on, one I found that worked was I'd read outside instead of inside.
Go to an orthodontist. Braces are the only way to solve your problem there, but braces aren't so medieval anymore. You can get see through braces so most people won't even notice you have them. Heck I've got them and I had a friend yesterday exclaim "HOLY ****, you got braces". (I'd had them for two months and I see her at school everyday).
And exercise. Do it daily, and make it count. Your unhappy with your looks so that's motivation enough to get our there and run.
I never fall into the friend wagon, how do I avoid this awful, awful fate? Don't get to close. Don't be their friend. Be nice. Be polite.
You need to make sure they know you want a girlfriend, not another best friend.
A lot of these things WILL pick up once your happy with your appearance, heck, the most attractive thing a male can have is confidence. Confidence means you like you, and if you can like you, so can they.
If you contemplate suicide again, pick up the phone and call a suicide hotline. No one will think any less of you as it is all annonymous.
When you finally do meet that special girl, make sure you think of Skaggy!
2007-10-09 18:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by Skaggy says: 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. its illegal and disgusting!!! It speaks really badly about the 22 that they can't get someone their own age that they can relate with a 12 CHILD. You're still a CHILD at 12!!! 2. I can understand how a younger girl would be attracted to an older guy but again the guy should not feel the same. Its so wrong!!! Would you the 12 year old date someone that's 2??? Its the same thing!!
2016-03-19 09:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'll tell you why you have a hard time getting girls. its not because you're ugly...it's because you have such a low self esteem. you need to be confident and it helps A LOT if you have a good sense of humor. I'm 22 also, I'm a girl though, and i'm a virgin by choice. I definitely could have had sex but i kept my virginity and i'm waiting for the right guy. Don't be so ashamed, it's kind of a beautiful thing. Think about it this way, you have an advantage over ALL THOSE GUYS! Girls think it's really sweet, especially if you save it for someone special.
2007-10-09 17:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you could somehow get your inner confidence back I think you would have a much easier time attracting a good girl for you. Looks really mean very little when you are confident, intelligent and interesting, all of which you seem to be.
BTW, 22 isn't even that old. Don't worry, it WILL work out sooner or later. Sooner if you heed the above ;)
2007-10-09 18:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good girl shouldn't care about the way you look. I have seen A LOT of couples where the girl is super hot and the guy is not so good looking. Anyways, if you don't feel good about the way you look, then try to follow a healthy diet and exercise, get rid of your hair, get a tan, etc... These are only superficial things that you can fix. What really matters is what you have inside, I bet you're a great guy and girls will eventually notice that.
2007-10-09 18:05:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try watching the 40 Year Old Virgin...he's like twice your age. But honestly, you're never going to get a girl if you don't have confidence in yourself. If you're not happy with your appearance, do something about it. Get some new clothes. Get a new haircut. Shave your back and chest...whatever. Girls don't want a guy who is depressed and not confident about himself. I'm not telling you to change who you are or be someone else but make some changes that will make you feel better. Once you become comfortable with yourself, I guarantee some girl will come along. Keep your head up dude and be confident with yourself.
2007-10-09 18:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Sonny E 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are not alone. i know a few guys even older than you that are still virgins. my current bf was 22 when he lost his virginity. you should try online personals and see if that gives you more confidence to meet women. do your best to improve your looks where you can (exercise, take care of your teeth, be clean and well groomed). girls are not as picky as guys are when it comes to looks. i'm pretty average myself but my personality wins men over and i literally have guys asking me out on a regular basis. i'm not pretty, and i definitely have flaws, but my personality makes up for it i guess.
don't change who you are completely on the inside just because you want a gf, but do work on your personality and confidence. i think intelligence is the sexiest thing in a guy, and you sound pretty intelligent, so play that up. look at all the good things you have to offer a girl and play all of those things up. you will meet someone eventually. everyone does. there are lots of things you can do, get a new hair style, clean your teeth/whiten them, work out, go tanning...little things like that can make all the difference in your appearance as well as your self confidence.
good luck, and don't worry. you WILL find some special woman. i promise you!!! ((Hugs))
2007-10-09 18:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get your teeth fixed number one. 2 don't show that your trying. 3 learn what kind of questions to ask girls. The questions that I really like are "What was the funnest time of your life." What was the saddest time of your life." "What was your biggest accomplishment." " What makes you really happy." "What makes you feel really sad." These questions if asked descretly give girls diareah of the mouth. Good for opening them up, makes them think a bit. But be very discret with them. You also might want to try some books on reading body language. There are many out there my favorite one is called "how to read a person like a book" There are others specifically for courting but I have never read them. Also learn how to be "flirty" with everyone, girls love that. You might also want to try hanging out at bars but don't over do it and don't let the alcohol do the thinking. And most importantly be carefull who you sleep with catching herpes can be very difficult to talk to a partner about. Good luck.
Edit
I'd like to add that the body language book that I recomended is the best book I have read on the subject but you may want to check out one for love and courtship as well. I have also seen videos on the subject.
2007-10-09 18:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by blackcat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girls don't care so much about looks as they do personality (really) although looks help to meet them. Be self confident, the best way to get girls... is to not really go after them, tease them but don't actually care if you get away with a "win" or not. Get your confidence back and you can fly, also if this is a big worry, hit the Gym, lose that weight and that is also a really good place to meet single women.
2007-10-09 18:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by heavy_cow 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋