im 20 y/o broke and jobless homeless staying with a friend barely educated and pregnant and i know im not ready to have a child in any way shape or form. i can get a min wage job that wont even pay the rent on a studio let alone bills food and clothing or all the things babies need my family doesnt believe in helping others take care of their kids because they feel everyone should be independent and hold their own. the guy who im pregnant by is my abusive ex that i cut out my life who only cares about spending money on drugs and alcohol and doesnt want kids. i was on birth control when i got pregnant i would like kids sumday but i really feel that im not ready to have kids now until i get my life str8 now i'm stuck in this rut. i really dont want it but i dont want giving it up for adoption neither because i dont want someone else raising my flesh and blood and having a kid somewhere out there and not apart of thier life. what should i do? keep it abort it or giving it up for adoption?
2007-10-09 16:17:42 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
give me something more then abortion is murder cause that is not true. look up what murder means before you start adding it to ****. murder is define as one human being killing another human being. an unborn baby is NOT A HUMAN BEING! its IS HUMAN but not and i repeat NOT A HMAN BEING.
2007-10-09 16:32:02 · update #1
Here is information on abortion: http://www.abortion.com
Click on your state to find a clinic near you.
I am for abortion but watch this and maybe it will help you decide what to do: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?SearchBoxID=SplashHeader&fuseaction=vids.search&q=where+the+heart+is&t=tvid&page=1
(It is not one of those sickening video's that people most on here)
Good luck
2007-10-09 16:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'd rather kill your baby than let a loving family raise it? That seems a bit strange to me. You can keep this baby if that is what you truly desire. You have 9 months to get your life straight. You can find a good job or two crappy ones if you have to. You can get government assistance. Living in low income housing on welfare is better than killing something that hasn't even had a chance to experience life. You have options other than killing the baby. Once the baby is born, you can breastfeed or get on WIC. You can get cheap baby clothes/items on Ebay, freecycle.com, craigslist.com, kizoodle.com, etc. If you don't think that you can raise this child, you could have an open adoption so that you COULD be a part of the child's life. Abortion doesn't have to be your only option. I got pregnant at 18 straight out of high school. I had no job, no car, no home to call my own, and no means of obtaining any of these things. I got my act together. It took me almost the entire 9 months, but by the time my son was born, he had everything he needed and more. I didn't have anyone to help me. Please put a lot of consideration into this. Your life isn't all about you anymore. You have a life growing in side of you that you need to put above all.
EDIT: A fetus is a LIVING being. Anyone can sugar coat it anyway they'd like, but the facts remain. If you take the LIFE from something that is LIVING, you have killed. It has been scientifically proven that fetuses can feel the pain. That's why so many people refer to abortion as murder.
2007-10-09 16:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by There's a party in my tummy! 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
you both need to listen to each others pros and cons about abortion/adoption/or keeping the child. each of you see this differently...mostly because you don't have the child inside of you. i think you should research each and talk about them openly. also talk to her parents and see if they will help raise the child. meaning both of you will be responsible for the child, but when you need help if they will help you. so 99.9% is on you and your girlfriend and .1% would be on her parents. while a lot of people do get abortions some underestimate the emotional aftermath of it. they regret having the abortion and wonder what life would be like if they never had the abortion. once she has the abortion she can't turn back. on the other hand if she goes through the process of adoption (I believe) she can go all the way through the process and then back out and say no she doesn't want to give the child up. So all of the paper work would be done, but after 9 months of thinking about it she can say she wants to keep the child. you can also have an "open-adoption" where you get visiting rights to the child, you would be part of the childs life, and this would allow you to in essence have a life too. or you could see if her parents would take custody of the child and then when you both turn 18 you take over custody. both of you need to be open with each other, honesty is the best way to go. just know that having an abortion is better earlier rather than later in the pregnancy. also you will adapt to the situation, you will grow up and figure things out (you have people around you that will help you). if anything apologize for not listening to her needs, but don't persuade her to do anything, it should be a rational decision that both of you make
2016-05-20 03:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't keep the baby. It sounds as if you are in a horrible situation, and you admit you are not ready to have kids. If you don't know where your life is going and have no support system, having a kid will only make it more difficult. The government will not fully support you and if you want a real life for you or any potential children, you should consider getting your life more together before having them. Whether you choose abortion or adoption is up to you. I would really recommend researching adoption agency's first before you decided to abort. There are some out there that do offer different levels of "open" adoptions. What this means is that even though someone else will be raising your child, you can still see your child on occasion, the adoptive parents usually keep in touch with you, etc. You still will have no rights as far as parenting goes, but you can at least have some part in the babies life and can rest easy knowing who is raising the child. It is one option if the thought of just giving your child up blindly scares you.
2007-10-09 16:37:34 · answer #4 · answered by Tisha H 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please don't abort. There is so many special things this baby can bring you. I, too, was jobless, homeless, and flat broke when I became pregnant when I was 18. I get public housing, yes. I get food stamps, yes. I get families first cash payments, yes. I don't give a damn what other people think of me either. I love my daughter... and I was terrified that I would make a horrible mother because... well who the hell was I? Plus I had dropped out of school when I was 16. The daddy... haha what a joke. He actually punched me in my stomach a few days before I gave birth. He also busted a huge vein in my right boob and it was black when I was in the hospital with my daughter. He doesn't come around much, but that is okay. As hard as my life is and has been she makes it so much better, and looking at her makes me want to be someone. I think about where I was back then... and now, even tho I get all kinds of help, I am so much better than I was. I am even about to start a home business! She is only 2! You can do anything you set your mind to, but please don't abort. I would take your child in a heartbeat and give your child back when you could stand on your own, if a complete stranger would do that for your child, you can guarantee there will be people around you willing to help you and your child. I got my ged before I gave birth, and you know what my daughter slept in when we got her home??? A $5 PLASTIC DRAWER FROM THE FAMILY DOLLAR!!!!!!!!! Yup. But it was nice and cozy for her. Now she has a cute little NEW toddler bed, she has a million toys and her own room. She has a closet packed full of clothes. I lived in a one bedroom trailer that you could see the ground thru the vents in the floor, there was a huge gash hole in the side of the trailer with duct tape covering it, rats eating the wiring in the trailer and eating holes in the ceiling, roaches and even a damn snake came into our house once! That is where I come from. If I can do it, surely you can too. Just put your mind to it and don't give up. Start now. The government will help and I don't see a damn thing wrong with it. You just don't know what you are capable of. Trust me, you can do it.
2007-10-09 16:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by ϑennaß 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may be you can keep your baby, you will just have to make certian sacrifices but it is possible...if you don't feel you can you should give the baby up for adoption...thinking of your baby being taken care of in a safe home with a family is much better then thinking that you killed your baby. You obviously know that you aren't ready for a child, financially or otherwise so just search your heart for what you want, a child's love has no end...
Some agency's and family's allow the natural mother to stay in touch with the child in some fashion, maybe you should look into it. But whatever you do don't get an abortion..you'll regret it.
2007-10-09 16:23:48 · answer #6 · answered by Buggy Jean 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
ABORTION IS MURDER! But adoption is not. If you had any kind of heart you would give the baby up for adoption. You're smart to admit that you're not ready to have a baby. You're too young (and in a distressed state) to decide to have an abortion. You would regret the decision for the rest of your life. Every time you saw a baby you would remember what you did. You could always choose an open adoption. Best of both worlds.
2007-10-09 17:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by LolaMola 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please do not have an abortion. This baby will be a permanent blessing in your life and your circumstances are temporary. You will come through it if you work hard for now. I have had 6 kids and God has always helped me take care of them all. He has put this baby in your life for a reason. Some people can never have kids and this may be your only opportunity. If you have an abortion you will always wonder what the child would have been like and you may damage your body too and never concieve again. Forget who the father is, the baby is half of you too . You can find lots of places that will gladly help you pregnant. Look under the yellow pages in the phone book under pregnancy and give them a call. Thats what they are there for. Also you should contact a battered womans shelter and ask them for help too. Go online and google stuff for pregnancy help in your area. Contact a community action center or a church group. Go to social services and ask for help. They will even give you medical pregnant. You have to want it. You have to do it and you can ... believe in yourself and hang in there and please ask God to help you He is there and really will.
2007-10-09 16:53:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am an adult who was adopted as an infant, and I think it was the best decision my 15 year old birthmother could have made for me. I also am the adoptive mother of three beautiful young boys. These days, adoption can be a beautiful thing, with birthmothers staying in contact with their child through open adoption. Open adoptions can range from pictures and letters a few times a year to visits to a complete relationship with the child and adoptive family. It is your decision and no matter what you decide, it will not be easy. Check into all your options. Contact a local adoption agency and discuss your options and their policy on open adoptions. You could even pick the family that would be the best fit for you.
2007-10-09 16:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by krazeemommee 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you don't want someone else to raise your child? If you don't want it for the reasons you gave don't you think maybe instead of ending its life that maybe someone out there could love it and take care of it? It's your choice to make. I am sorry about your situation but there are so many programs out there to help you. Being homeless at 20 and also jobless can be changed. It is up to you what you do with your life. A baby will make it more difficult but it can be done. I have been raising 2 boys for years by myself and we aren't rich but we are happy.
2007-10-09 17:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by whata waste 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"PLEASE DO NOT ABORT IT!" :( "I makes me want to cry that you would murder your own 'flesh and blood' as you put it. Do you have contact with your family still and are they willing to help? What I think would be best is to have the child. But before then, do some serious thinking on your life. Find ways to change what you think you have done wrong and try to change. Telling people that you will change means nothing unless you have action. Start as soon as you can with your changes so that others notice that you are trying to be a different person. As some of my schoolmates say that really hits the dot: 'Talk is cheap but action is expensive'." :) "Work hard, at first people may not help but as time passes (and I don't know how long but don't expect it too quickly) people will come to you and help you along. Goodluck to you and I hope things get better for you." <3
"What I would also like to add is that my teacher had an abortion (And a miscarriage) and every single day she regrets killing that child. It has haunted her since the child's death and still today which is over 40 years. Please do not make the same mistake she did."
2007-10-09 16:28:49 · answer #11 · answered by Aqua 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋