Got promoted to manager but I stammer when I talk and it is embarrasing!?

Question

I have a problem with stammer and it’s really embarrassing and stressful for me. I only seem to have that problem with certain words or when I am talking in public, or when I talk to an stranger for the first time. The thing is that I just got a promotion to a management position, and I will be forced to speak in public a lot and also to perform job interviews. I think that people wont take me seriously if they hear me stammer and I am getting very self conscious and nervous about this. I was told to go to speech therapy, but I was wonder if any one out there has an advice or had the same problem that can give me some tips on what to do on my own. Thank you so much!

Answer 1

Get the books "Advice to those who stutter" and "Self Therapy for the Stutterer" from The Stuttering Foundation of America in their estore at www.stutteringhelp.org. Those books, especially the Self Therapy one, were the ones that helped my family...it is one to study and work through the steps rather than just to casually read. You can become more fluent.

Answer 2

You can learn biofeedback techniques. When you notice you are anxious, you can cue your body to automatically react with relaxation. It takes practice, but it works. I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I used to cuss like a sailor and get angry when I heard sudden sounds. Over a period of about two months, I trained myself to react to sudden noises with a pause and then say, "Goodness. That startled me." I had a kid. I had to learn, LOL.
http://health.indiamart.com/biofeedback/index.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/relaxation-technique/SR00007

Other types of "therapy" like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can work if you need a more "intellectual" approach. The therapy relies partly on biofeedback because you learn what behaviors you do that aren't "normal", figure out WHY you have the behavior, and then apply a certain way of thinking about it to change that pattern. It's great for people who tend to think negatively and get depressed over things that ordinarily wouldn't depress someone.
http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-1074559-8036705?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy&Go.x=8&Go.y=8&Go=Go

I'm sorry you're going through this. My brother stammers. We were taught to just wait patiently for him to finish whatever he had to say, when we were old enough to "get it". And we learned that it was really bothering him. He still stammers when he is upset emotionally. Which is similar to your problem, since it appears to be an anxiety response.

There is nothing wrong with stammering. Often, you can judge a lot about a person by how they respond to someone who stammers. Anyone who has the patience or compassion to work well with you won't try to finish your statements or butt in before you are done. So, it could actually be an effective tool for you. I'll leave that to you to decide, since I am not in your workplace and am unaware of any specific pressure there might be to be "perfect".

No one is perfect, and I hate being put into a situation in which I am expected to be perfect. I can't handle that kind of pressure, since I was abused when I was younger.

I don't know if you know how to sing, but people who normally stammer CAN'T stammer while they are singing. It comes from a different part of the brain than ordinary speech. So it comes out smoothly. Perhaps thinking of a melody that calms you while you speak would be helpful.

I know you're feeling pressure. Anyone would. Don't let this hold you back from being what you want to be, OK? You obviously have what it takes for the job -- you were promoted over others and that doesn't happen unless you are a proven good worker. So, you can relax. Whatever they did to make the decision, your stammering was probably taken into account. Yet you were promoted anyway. That's a huge vote in your favor. So, do your best to relax and just enjoy being around people. Try to keep your mind on success rather than failure. And, remember: concentrate on what YOU think about yourself. If you wonder what the other guy is thinking, you'll likely interpret things they say and do in a way that isn't true. (I learned this in therapy, too. And it really helped me. I know I've jumped to wrong conclusions, myself. It's so easy to do, and yet can be so destructive. Give the other guy the benefit of the doubt. You won't regret it.)

Answer 3

First off dint worry about it that makes it worse. My grandson stammers when he talks some times. I think it bothers you more than it does other people. Myself I think it is cute.

Answer 4

Practicing in front of your friends or family. I find reading books out loud is also a good way. It's very good speech practice.