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Question

my child is 13(son) adhd. he has a problem focusing remembering simple things. He is not on medication, he was but it puts him in a zombie like character. doesnt want to do any thing but stay home so i took him off of it. we have taken things from him..tv, radio, games etc. and have presented rewards if he at least tries, but to no aveil. simple things like taking a bath, brushing his teeth reminding him every day to do everyday things. now he watches videos and he remembers everyword to the videos and remembers if we tell him that we are doing things like going on trips..any thing that benefits him he remembers. He loves wrestling knows every wrestler and all the moves. So he has the ability to remember things. He rushes through homework which ends up 90 percent wrong. Me and his Dad is going through a hard time. We considered tutoring but its very costly. We talk and talk to him and explain the consequences of his actions but its not penatrating. PLEASE HELP US!

Answer 1

I would schedule a visit with your family doctor and have a consultation about your son's behaviour.Just curious, did you try than more than one medication,they are not all the same. Your son should not be so medicated he is a zombie, the meds are meant to help him to concentrate not to dope him up so he can't function.I suggest you take away his videos, t.v and thigs he enjoys.Let him know that he must earn them back.Since you think he can remember when it is to advantage,then perhaps he is trying to manipulate you.Let him know there will be new rules and write them down and post them on the fridge.There will be no more accepting anything less than his best effort.His best may not be the same as another child,but you should not accept his efforts if it is 90% wrong because he hurried.In time he should learn that taking his time will produce better results.Praise his successes and encourage him when he makes mistakes.I encourage you to try another medication to see if it will help his concentration.Set up a meeting with his teacher(s) and see what they suggest.Does he have an I.E.P. Individual Education Plan)? Does your school offer special education classes or educational assistants for students with learning or behavioural issues.Has the school conducted their own testing so they can prepare teaching strategies for him ? It may take some time to sort this all out.In the meantime just do your best.I hope this was of some help.Take care.

Answer 2

ADHD and memory problems are two very different issues, although if you don't attend you obviously can't remember the information. It doesn't sound like he is having memory issues, per say, but more of a motivation issue provided he can do the work and they have ruled out a learning disability (which I assume they did before they diagnosed him with ADHD as it is best practice).

If he's rushing through assignments to get to more fun activities, my suggestion would be to eliminate those activites until he goes back and completes the assignment correctly. Give him a timer to keep him on task and shorten his assignment into smaller chunks to keep him going. Make sure he's doing homework in a less distracting room.

And don't just explain the consequences, give them. If he doesn't feel the need to do his homework, don't feel the need to let him play his video games. Have him earn time to do his favorite activities and play his favorite games by doing what you need him to do. Talk to his teacher and see if there are things at school they can do to ensure he has gotten the instruction and that he understands the work and if there are things at home they would recommend to remediate any shortcomings.

And sometimes natural consequences are the only things that work. Don't do your homework? Get an F. Consequence of an F? Even more reduction of fun activities and increased time studying and doing extra work.

When in doubt remember the Premac Principal--people will do things they don't want to do if you give them something they do want to do afterwards that is rewarding. (Or in the case of adults going to work, if you give us a paycheck for our efforts.)

Answer 3

It's not his fault first of all. Please go to this website:
http://www.adhdnews.com/ and join it..it's totally free and you'll see that you are NOT alone at all. I have never figured out how kids (including mine) with ADHD can sit infront of a video game and play for hours (if we allowed that). They pay SO much attention to these games that it seems totally impossible for them to NOT be able to pay attention in school, do simple task, etc. It seems to be called a STIMULANT to them. Yes...go to this website and you'll see. The tutoring is really expensive...HOWEVER the SCHOOL should be helping him...something about Wright's Law. As well as No Child Left Behind Act. The website I provided you will be a Godsend to YOU...if nothing but to vent and get opinions from people that are going through what you are. It's NOT easy ... not medicating...we don't medicate either. Never have and pray we never have to. YOU have to have MORE patience that you ever thought...but I'm sure you already figured that out. It's like this: give him ONE thing to do at a time. Brush your teeth: then give him something else. They simply can't process more than two things at a time. It's very very hard...and I wish I could say it gets better. It also seems like he's selfish I bet and has no regard for anyone else unless it benefits him. That's part of his ADHD, he can't help that. View the website and pray.

Final note: I am TOTALLY against medications for this. However some have been very successful, but it takes getting the right Dr. and the right meds. I choose to modify his diet as much as possible. NO red dyes...lots of Fish oil (omega 3's). It's all on the website ...

Answer 4

This is so tough to deal with. Schools don't offer enough free tutoring and some kids (like my 7 y/o with adhd and odd) refuse to let their parents help them. I have tried to get tutoring for math at my son's school to no avail, they only have a grant for a reading program after school. And like you, private tutoring is too expensive. All I can say is, ask his teacher for help and maybe take him back to the doctor. Maybe there is a medicine that you haven't tried yet that won't put him in a zombie state. Good luck.

Answer 5

if your son truly has ADHD have you tried other medications? They are not all going to react the same way. You need to see a specialist and deal with this properly