I have no father, no grandfather, no older brothers, no older male figure that I'm really all that close to. I'd honestly just like to skip the isle all together.
What I'd like to do is to have a nice dinner and get married there infront of our guests while they sit at their tables.
I don't want the room divided either. You know brides side, grooms side. I only have about 12 friends to invite. he has his parents, his siblings (7 of them) friends etc. It would look stupid to have all these people on one side and so few on the other.
Did anyone do anything similar? How did it go?
2007-10-09 12:24:27 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My fiance is fine with the idea by the way.
And I guess I wasn't all that clear. I don't really have any family members. We're paying for everything, except for catering which his parents are paying for.
2007-10-09 12:33:16 · update #1
I personally did not do that, but I see your logic. It is your wedding day and you can do whatever you like. I understand your reasoning and I think it sounds like a good idea! Just do something to make the day happy and memorable! Good luck and Congrats!
2007-10-09 12:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by mattsbaby125 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
You are getting lots of opinions here, and I see most people have not read your question carefully.
My thoughts:
I do see where you are coming from, with having a small wedding and no family on your side. Really, the majority of weddings I have gone to recently (including my own son's wedding)....there is no "bride side" and "groom side." I don't think many people do that anymore. That being said....you have a few options:
(1) Do it as you say....have your dinner and get married. Question.....would you have your dinner first, get married, and then have dessert? At some point.....you DO have to walk into the room. Would you and your groom walk in the room together, hand in hand? You could do it that way. Have your guests already seated, and both of you walk in together.
(2) The second option would be.....is the room large enough to put 2 rows of chairs? A very small aisle? Given the numbers you previously stated, it looks like possibly a total of about 30 people? You could have 2 rows of 8 chairs each. Will you be having a maid of honor and best man? They could walk in, then you. Don't worry that you don't have an escort. Many brides don't. Some don't want one, others, like you, don't have anyone to ask. It NO BIG DEAL....really! One bride said..."you walk in single and you walk out a couple." That is one way to look at it.
Anyway, if you had the ceremony part in the same room, possibly under an arch?, that would separate the ceremony from the dinner reception and make it a little more elegant than everyone sitting at a dinner table. Also, most tables are round so some would have to turn their chairs around anyway.
That's my two-cents! You DO what YOU feel comfortable with and I'm sure it will be very special! I wish you all the best and hope you have a beautiful wedding! I just LOVE small weddings....they are my very favorite!
2007-10-09 21:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You walk down an aisle (a column between the rows of benches), not an isle (a small island in the ocean).
The bride doesn't need an escort down the aisle, and doesn't need a formal church wedding at all. For such a small group, you don't need a formal ceremony anyway. Just do whatever you want to do - it's YOUR wedding, and tradition is only good if it brings you happiness.
However, I suggest having some sort of regular seating for your guests - it's a sign of respect to have them facing the couple, not their dinner plates. You are the main attraction here, not mealtime entertainment.
I suggest having the ceremony in a different room from the reception/meal - a forest grove, an open field, an arbor, a garden, even a small hall/room in a charming historical house would all provide a lovely setting without having your guests distracted by the bread bowls. A quick ceremony could take just ten minutes, and then everyone could return to dining area for the rest of the area. Let them seat themselves, so they aren't divided by bride/groom.
2007-10-09 19:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i married in front of the county judge.it was just my, my husband to be and my sister in law...we had a great wedding reception for us and we are STILL MARRIED. some people spend their life's savings in a flamboyant wedding and a year latter they don't love each other anymore. ..
it is american tradition to place groom and bride's relatives in sections. but if u are a smart person u will do what makes u happy...a good friend can give u away... and i think NOBODY really has to give u away... u decide to marry and that is what it is sometimes tradition becomes irrelevant or outdated. in today's world... where family is more often than not made up by friends and work associates those rituals do not match. u can walk the aisle all by youself with the flower kids and the ring boy or girl...DO NOT FEEL BAD OR STUPID ... it is ur wedding day... have fun and make ur new traditions!!!!
'
2007-10-09 19:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by colonita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you walk down the aisle with your bridal party, his parents, your fiance, and the minister? That is what I am doing. I am not close with my family and would not feel "right" walking down the aisle with my father arm in arm, but this is not my only reason.
What I am doing is called "processing in" and it's what is supposed to be done in Catholic weddings. It's the secular tradition that invented the idea of "all eyes on the bride", a "grand entrance" and that the bride is "given away". The Church is trying to discourage people from using these secular traditions in Christian (Catholic) services. The focus should be on the partnership of the couple.
I do not plan on diving up the sides either, for similar reasons. I do not have much family coming. I'm hoping as many of my friends as possible will come!
Do what you want, don't think that just because something is "tradition" it is "right". Do what makes you happy.
2007-10-09 20:39:09 · answer #5 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fiance and I have the same problem (as far as uneven number of guests are concerned). I have a HUGE family, and he has a very small one who will have to travel from LA to OH for the wedding (many of which won't even come). We're just going to seat everyone together so it doesn't look lopsided.
As far as walking you down the isle, who says you need someone to do it? This is all about you,and YOUR day. Why not walk yourself down it. Or maybe even you and your fiance walk down it together. It's not the traditional way to go, but if it's not going to be traditional anyway, then who cares? It's your wedding! :)
Good luck!
2007-10-09 20:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by Soon2BMrsB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The traditional stuff does not a happy wedding make...in fact it can be very stale. Your idea sounds lovely. A nice intimate dinner with special friends with your quiet ceremony sounds like something you can remember happily for years to come. My mom and step-dad had one of the most beautiful weddings I had ever been to. They had their ceremony in a Judge's chambers with a few friends and family in attendance followed by a dinner at a restaurant. They have been happily married for more than 30 years. I got married in a traditional down the aisle ceremony and did not make it to 5 years. I would much rather have a lovely private ceremony with a lasting marriage. Blessings and happiness to you and your groom to be.
2007-10-09 19:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father in law said he didn't feel right about giving the bride away because I had been married and divorced and he is Catholic. Not that we wanted that kind of ceremony, anyway. We're not into pomp and showiness. Just wanted to celebrate our marriage with the people who meant the most to us there to witness it.
We got married in a nice old inn on the waterfront in New England. Wedding ceremony was a short and sweet civil ceremony right where the reception was. People came in, said hello and mingled and then were asked to gather round and we walked into the room on our own power and did the ceremony. Then got kissed by everyone and started the reception.
Most people said it was the nicest wedding they had ever been to.
2007-10-09 19:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ur wedding and u can do it however u want too .. my fiance and I are having a private ceremony with just our parents and a few of our immediate family but 2 months later we re having a nice reception party... we are saving a lot of money but its also going to be nice.. i dont think anythin is wrong with u just getting married in front of ur guest without walking down the aisle.. ITS UR DAY u do it how u CHOOSE too... its different and original ...
my fiance and I thought about that everything doesn t have to be TRADITIONAL all the time...
GOOD LUCK
2007-10-09 20:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by MrsRichard TTC 2012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I performed a ceremony for a family member on a Christmas day, in their living room and one of my best friends on a New Year's Day in her mom's living room. We all just gathered around the fireplace/ in front of the window, they stood there and we did the ceremony. There was no trauma either time from her not walking down the hallway (an aisle)!
I love doing weddings like that.... small, intimate, just as meaningful as a big one.
2007-10-09 19:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good friends of mine hired a school cafeteria that had access to a stage. They had a pot luck. We all brought a dish and after everyone was through eating they got up on the stage and got married. After that they served the wedding cake and ice cream. Best wedding I ever went to.
If they'd only gotten married before I did so that I'd have gotten the idea it's what I would have done for my wedding.
2007-10-09 19:29:23 · answer #11 · answered by Everbely 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋