Breast or bottle fed - I really dont want to breast feed again!!?

Question

Hi,

i'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second baby.
I had such a bad time breast feeding my first child, and even though I did it for 4 months, I really don't want to breast feed this time around.

I was thinking of giving of breast feeding my baby for the first couple of days and then introducing Cow & Gate forumla instead.

Has anyone breast feed for a couple of days and thenmoved to forumla - I would appreciate any advice ie engorged breast etc...

thanks,

Sophia

Alot of you have been wondering why I don't want to.

With my first baby:
1. She was never satisfied with breast milk and cried all the time because my breast didn't produce enough milk - I tried everything - believe me!!
2. in the hospital when I was feeding my baby blood started coming out of her mouth and I thought she was dying - the midwife made me look totally stupid infront of the other staff 'you stupid girl - your nipples are bleeding' was her attitude.
3. It physically drained my whole body, I had a nightmare labour, stitches with 3rd degree tear which meant I couldn't sit down or move and literally spent all my time cleaning up blood and clots dripping out of me.
4. The breast pump was a no go area - it just wouldn't work and I eventually smashed it up against my bedroom wall in a temper!
5. I really needed my hubby to help me out by taking the baby off me to forumula feed - I thought I was going down the road of postnatal depression.

Formula saved my life, Sophia

Answer 1

When I had my first daughter i was made to feel a complete incompetant by the people who were supposed to help me. I was only 19 so didn't have the courage to stand up for myself either. I was in a military hospitl in Germany and had to stay in hospital for over a week. My daughter just didn't like the breast, but I tried for 5 days straight. I was in agony and was tired after a 27 hour delivery and my baby was starving and cried constantly. i was given nipple shields on day 5 to help with the soreness and my daughter latched on and had her 1st feed ever. She settled and it was amazing. However the next day the shields were taken off of me and I had to go back to square one. My daughter wouldn't feed again. I spoke to the lady next to me as the midwives were over pushy and didn't seem to give a damn, and she said to go with what I thought best, so I gave her a formula feed. i felt like a theif sneaking off to get her a bottle, but I was glad I did because she settled and over the next 24 hrs she was a different baby. the next day the midwive passed my bed when I was feeding my daughter and gave me a huge lecture in front of the whole ward, telling me she hoped I realised just what exactly I was doing to the future of my child. i cried myself to sleep that night , and didn't even try to breast feed my 2nd daughter at all. 9 yrs later I had my son and decided to try again. Experience and maturity made me realise it was my choise whether it was a health choice or just my decision. i thought I would try and if I didn't like it I would go to formula. I'm so glad I tried again as I has 11 wonderful weeks feeding my son which I thoroughly enjoyed. The only regret I have is that I was so put off that I didn't get that with my 2nd daughter. I'm not too regretful about my 1st daughter as she didn't seem to get on with it, not me, however I now know that it is perfectly safe to use the nipple shields for as long as you want or need and my daughter did feed using those, so if I were to go through that again I would stand up to the tyrant midwife and tell her if she wanted me to feed my child so much, then let me use the shields. Alot of help comes through experience in these circumstances. Things that really upset you during your 1st pregnancy won't be such big fry next time around. good luck with whatever you decide x

Answer 2

No contest, If that's how you feel and you've thought things through then that's what's right for you AND baby ( first rule of motherhood ). I breastfed my first for 10 months and fully intended doing likewise this time.
However I had an emergency section and partner was leaving for a week on the day following the delivery ( not leaving, leaving but working abroad ).
I fed my baby for the first day and had real problems this time. In fact he struggled to fit me in his mouth at all and tended to chew on the end. Midwifes couldn't get him latched on either.
The next day I decided to stop. The section had left me tired etc and I knew I needed all the help I could get if hubby was away so I spoke to the staff, who were great. As long as they can tick the box saying that you had all the help you needed and feeding was going well but you have made a personal decision to bottle feed then they have no problem.
The first time I put a bottle in my baby's mouth though he gave me such a searching look that I cried!!!
Hormones eh? In fact he fed really well and guzzled the whole bottle down. I got a row for that! The engorgement was no worse because my milk wasn't fully in.
I am so glad now! I am not going back to work with leaky boobs and a pump, fine last time but not for me this time.
Take care.

Answer 3

Well Sophia, you're going to get all sorts of 'bad parenting' rants I'm afraid but you stick to your guns.

I literally couldn't produce enough to feed my second (my first point blank refused) and she wailed all the time so at 10 days I switched to Aptimil which is one of the best on the marketplace according to my midwife at the time. She's now a HUGE healthy 30 months old and she made the switch painlessly-in fact she was a happier baby on formula (and I was a much less stressed Mum).

With my 3rd I did much the same and he, too, is massive & has no health issues.

It's the first few days that are really important so if you can do those you've given them the best possible start.

As regards the engorged breast issue I used the savoy cabbage leaf method (that's the big knobbly dark green cabbage). One large leaf tucked into your bra and it helps relieve it (apparently it's due to natural chemicals in the leaf itself).

My midwife told me that she wasn't the breast feeding police and that happy Mummy's make for happy babies so you do what's best for you guilt free!

And now I'm going to sit back and wait for the thumbs down, lol!

Answer 4

i had a terrible time breast feeding my first, really painful! I managed 4 weeks, but just could not take the soreness. When i had the second, i gave it a go, and had no pain at all! The third i breastfed for a whole year, forth was five months then i had to top up cos he was such a big lad. Maybe give it a go, you dont say why you had such a bad time feeding last time, but most likely it will be easy peasy this time, anyway good luck, hope all goes well which ever way you decide to feed!

Answer 5

First of all good for you on getting through 4 months with your first!

I too have had a nightmare of a time breastfeeding - including nipple thrush (baby had thrush on her tongue), latching issues, bleeding nipples, pain pain pain..... and I can't wait for 6 months to come!!

Anyway - as much as I hate the thought of breastfeeding my second baby I'm going to do it. If it's the biggest sacrifice I make for my child I will make sure that my baby gets the best that I can give her. I would feel very guilty if I was feeding formula.

That's just how I feel about it and I can totally relate to you. At the end of the day you have to make the decision that is in the best interest of you and your baby.

If you decide to breastfeed again - ASK for more support from the local health providers. If they know you are struggling and getting depressed they should provide you with help to get through it.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I nursed my first for 7 weeks and made it the full year with the second. Who ever above me said it - it gets so much better and easier if you just make it to that 6th month. Also, get some support for the tough times.
But if you really don't want to . . formula doesn't hurt. You've been there before and know about cleaning bottles and making sure you won't run out or having that need to "run" to the store to buy more.
Part of me regrets giving up on my first after doing so well on my second. The first is now 7 years old battles Asthma, likes bland food and is very small for his age. #2 is now 3 and is healthy only sees the doc for well visits and eats everything. Luck of the draw or breast milk? We will never really know.

Answer 7

I breast fed all 3 of my babies for about 6 months but I was always more than willing to let someone bottle feed them formula (especially the second two) when ever they wanted. They went right back and forth with no problems. They only time I had any fuss was if they were sick to begin with then they prefered being held close and breastfeeding. Breastfeeding got easier with each child cause I would let others bottle feed, which actually made me breastfeed more cause then I didn't feel like I was an on demand cow. lol

Answer 8

Hi, and congratulations on your new arrival-to-be! If you don't want to breastfeed, there's nothing wrong with that at all - with both of my two younger children I HAD to bottle feed as well as nurse, they ate like little horses and I just couldn't keep up with them, and actually ended up giving each of them solids (cereal) as well as breast milk and formula by the time they were 2 months old. Talk to your pediatrician, s/he should be most sympathetic to your wishes and not try to push you into a decision you are not comfortable with (if not, you might consider a change to another pediatrician). You might consider investing in a breast pump, your local La Leche League should be able to help you find one at a very reasonable cost, and your obstetrician will be able to help you solve the engorgement problem - boy, that hurts, doesn't it?! The most important thing is for you to do whatever you are comfortable with, breast feeding doesn't do anyone any good if you are only doing it because you are pressured into it (no pun intended, sorry). Best wishes to you and your family, hope this helps a little.

Answer 9

amosunkn your talking rubbish, of course babies have an immune system when they are born. its wrong to advise people that their baby will have no immunity if they dont breastfeed, a baby would die if they had no immunity whats so ever.

If they didnt how would you explain why my 6 month old forumla fed daughter has never had any illnesses so far in her life?

immunity is developed during pregnancy, through the placenta and also from bacteria in the birth canal. breastfeeding only passes on some of th mothers antibodies it does give a baby its whole immune system.

Its advise like your that make women who dont breast feed feel bad about themselves.

Sophia do what makes you feel most comfortable. if you dont want to breastfeed it is actually recommened to feed the baby for a few days with your milk so they get some of your antibodies and then switch to the formula.

Answer 10

I never actually produced enough milk to support my son's growth so I switched to formula at about 2 months old with him. For what it's worth if you do switch a few days after your milk comes in then your milk supply hasn't really been established yet so you won't experience more then a day or two of engorgment. Refridgerated cabbage leaves in your bra. A snug fitting bra and as little stimulation to your breast as possible while engorged. This means don't let even water trickle on them. Take a bath or turn your back to the shower. Even with breastfeeding for 2 months my breasts where only engorged for a few hours and my best friend said that they weren't even fully engorged since they never went to the point of being exruciating. Also try to get a bottle with a nipple as close to natural shape as possible. My son did really well on avent brand and I'm thinking of trying the new soothie bottles since they look closer to my natural shape.